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Deathclaw Chameleon Look, Ma! Two Heads!


Joined: 28 Jul 2011 Posts: 361 Location: Stuck In Dead Wind Cavern Status: Offline
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 17:08 Post subject: Fate's Lullaby |
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This is only for myself and Sin Angel to write in.
It was dark, and Cornelius set his eyes under his dark hat at the brahmin in front of him. Two indivuduals occupied it, and Darkhound was on a mission to capture them; dead or alive. He readied his holster, and muttered under his breath.
"Let's see how you escape me this time, punks." _________________ http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g89/TheWelshPaddy/Taskmastersig.png |
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alec Poète maudit oTO


Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 14279 Location: Belgium Status: Offline
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 14:18 Post subject: |
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It's "individuals", not "indivuduals".
Also: how does one "mutter under his breath"? It's a little weird, no?
Alsoplustoo: this is a forum. This means that threads are open to everyone. If you want something special just for you and Sin Angel, why don't you two PM each other, eh?
Just saying, dude. _________________
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verevoof Callipygian Board Cop


Joined: 12 Jul 2009 Posts: 6165
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 19:14 Post subject: |
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Agreed. PM each other, review the end result, getting rid of mistakes, clichés, and whatever may not make sense. And then share it with everyone. _________________
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Sin Lucifel Angel Hideous Freak of Nature


Joined: 08 Dec 2011 Posts: 73
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:00 Post subject: |
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That's what I thought we were gonna do to tell truth _________________ Sin's not done just by humans we Angels do it too. ~By Sin Angel aka me
Whatever floats your stinking pretty little boat. ~By Me!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. ~By Anon
The penguins stole my sanity... ~ By Anon
I'm waaaay off the boarder line of sanity. ~By Anon
Hehehe I'm the Queen of Crazy Town and Ya'll're mah citizens. ~By Me
...My Dad's the King of Psycho City O.O..... ~By Me
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative! ~By Anon |
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Deathclaw Chameleon Look, Ma! Two Heads!


Joined: 28 Jul 2011 Posts: 361 Location: Stuck In Dead Wind Cavern Status: Offline
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