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Muff
Water Chip? Been There, Done That
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 803
Location: England
Status: Offline
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 Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 0:48 Post subject: The Order will enjoy this (Midget related). |
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The Order will enjoy this (Midget related).
So tonight I ran out of cigarettes and needed some alcohol so I decide to go to the local Morrisions, so I go to the cash point to take out the funds to make the necessary purchase. Out the corner of my eye I see what looks like a woman holding a kids hand walking towards the trolly park for the ones with the baby seats.
So I take the cash from the machine and put it in my wallet, while the woman lifts the child into the baby seat and then walk into get my fags an booze. I get into line to buy my fags and the woman an child walk in and my brain says, "My what a full beard that child has" and I do a double take. There was a full grown midget sitting in a child seat with a full beard, the absurdity of this situation takes a few moments to register I am half way through saying "20 Marlbrough reds please" When it hits me and I ask the girl who was serving me "Did you just see a midget in a trolly?" she nods and serves me and with all due speed I procide to follow the odd couple.
I stalked this odd pair round the shop for a full 20 min, it's fucking surreal seeing a rather attractive woman and a midget with a full beard talking about what they want for dinner whilst he was sitting in a childs seat in a shopping trolly. I have to give it to the little guy because she wanted wine and he pushed for Vodka and won!
I followed them out, she took him out the child seat and kissed and then walked off hand in hand. I returned to the shop to buy my alcohol laughing my tits off and asked the Security guard who I whent to school with how long they have been coming in then chastised him for not telling me sooner that a midget was in my vicinity.
Now all's I need is a butterfly net and a small suit and my dream of a midget butler can become true. |
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Farmerk
Orderite
Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Posts: 3401
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 0:52 Post subject: |
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Congrats on seeing a midget. I'm happy for you.
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Muff
Water Chip? Been There, Done That
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 803
Location: England
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 0:57 Post subject: |
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| Well it beats the last time I saw a midget as the little git punched me in the balls. |
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Farmerk
Orderite
Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Posts: 3401
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:02 Post subject: |
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Midgetitis is a medical condition, you just spent half an hour stalking and giggling at someone with a physical defect. Perhaps he has trouble walking for extended periods or maybe just wanted to be able to talk to his wife at eye level while shopping. Or...
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Courier
Half-way Through My Half-life
Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 3190
Location: Goodsprings
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:08 Post subject: |
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I wish my life was this cool.
Maybe someday I'll finally get to see a real midget. 
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| Crni Vuk wrote: |
| One has not to go as far like baby raping mad scientists. |
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Serifan
Orderite
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 3382
Location: Australia,Junktown
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:46 Post subject: |
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I like muff, but not this one.
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Jebus
Orderite
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 9011
Location: Brugge, Flanders, Belgislavia
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:12 Post subject: |
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What's with all the damn white knighting in here lately?
Kilus needs to start another rape thread. |
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Muff
Water Chip? Been There, Done That
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 803
Location: England
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:46 Post subject: |
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Right I posted this because it was just fucking odd seeing a fully grown dwarf in a kiddy seat of a shopping trolly.
I haven't got a issue with dwarfs, but this situation struck me as bizarre and much better than the last close encounter where a midget punched me in the balls. |
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Pipboy2000
Orderite
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Posts: 7601
Location: If you don't already know, then I don't want you to know.
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:40 Post subject: |
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I live by an Amish dwarf with a full beard and hot wife. I see them all the time when I drive by their house. I also see them out walking and riding their bikes. Not my neighbor, like a mile away, but I drive by there all the time. Gotta give him credit on the hotness of the Amish chick. Actually, they could be Menonites I forget.
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Madbringer
Orderite
Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 2233
Location: Corridors of abandonment
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:57 Post subject: |
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OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU SAW A SHORT MAN
GUYS I HAVE A STORY TO TELL TODAY I WENT TO A CRAPPY BAZAAR TO BUY A POTATO AND BEHELD THE STRANGEST THING EVER A MAN WITH CANCEROUS GROWTHS ALL OVER HIS FACE EVERYONE WAS STARING AND HE LOOKED LIKE A GOD DAMN VORTIGAUNT SO I THINK IT WAS OK THEN I TOOK A SHIT THE END
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Lahmende ahnung wird nackt.
Entblosste angst wird still.
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clercqer
Administrative Senator oTO
Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 2895
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 10:08 Post subject: |
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| Jebus wrote: |
What's with all the damn white knighting in here lately?
Kilus needs to start another rape thread. |
Yarr.
I mean, I'm not saying mobucks' way of getting laid is commendable, but this is just about someone seeing a midget guys...
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Yamu: "There's a gentle-but-implacable authority that stems from over-hyphenation which is too-often under-appreciated.
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Jebus
Orderite
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 9011
Location: Brugge, Flanders, Belgislavia
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 11:32 Post subject: |
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Either way - it's amazing the Thread got locked. There's nothing in the constitution about political corectness, and god damn there never should be. This is all getting a bit out of hand.
Also, midgets ARE funny - and deep down you all know that. Also, midgets with hot wives ARE interesting. I'm willing to bet my life's savings every single one of your has at one point wondered how big a midgets dick is. Don't deny it. |
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Crni Vuk
Orderite
Joined: 26 Nov 2008
Posts: 13646
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 11:54 Post subject: |
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I agree new rape tread is needed. Kilus?
It would get hoxie to post again at least  |
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Pipboy2000
Orderite
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Posts: 7601
Location: If you don't already know, then I don't want you to know.
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 15:35 Post subject: |
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| Jebus wrote: |
| Also, midgets with hot wives ARE interesting. I'm willing to bet my life's savings every single one of your has at one point wondered how big a midgets dick is. Don't deny it. |
All I know is that bonneted lass looks mighty satisfied. Sooo hot. Still can't believe it.
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Courier
Half-way Through My Half-life
Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 3190
Location: Goodsprings
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 16:53 Post subject: |
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| Jebus wrote: |
| I'm willing to bet my life's savings every single one of your has at one point wondered how big a midgets dick is. Don't deny it. |
I had not until I read this. 
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| Crni Vuk wrote: |
| One has not to go as far like baby raping mad scientists. |
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Sander
The Drinking Dictator
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Posts: 17807
Location: Eindhoven, the Netherlands
Status: Offline
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Jebus
Orderite
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 9011
Location: Brugge, Flanders, Belgislavia
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 17:02 Post subject: |
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| Sander wrote: |
| Whelp, there go your life's savings, Jeebs. |
I said "at one point", so that does not exclude the future nor the present.
Please provide me a direct quote as to where I excluded the future and the present.
Also, I object to your use of "Whelp" as that denotes a sound and sounds cannot be heard through the internet, so please refrain from cross-pollinating modes of communication. |
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Courier
Half-way Through My Half-life
Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 3190
Location: Goodsprings
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 17:11 Post subject: |
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You should change your avatar to this Jebus.
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| Crni Vuk wrote: |
| One has not to go as far like baby raping mad scientists. |
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Jebus
Orderite
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 9011
Location: Brugge, Flanders, Belgislavia
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 17:14 Post subject: |
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| Courier wrote: |
| You should change your avatar to this Jebus. |
But that does not dance nor makes fun of people's religious opinions! |
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Kilus
Storyteller oTO
Joined: 03 May 2003
Posts: 11842
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
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| Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 17:15 Post subject: |
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I like looking at weird people as much as the next person. Just don't follow them. It's weird. How would you like to be followed? Also since following a weird person is weird if everyone did what you did you could create a kilometer long line of people following each other.
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