alec

Did the HIV finally claim you? RIP.

In tears.

My girlfriend's anal prolapse bears an uncanny resemblance to a rose. Until you smell it. Then it's just a piece of colon with a musky odor.

I was at the hospital today and I overheard a nurse say: "You know that cup you thought was tea? It was urine." How did she know that?

Man, vaginas can really reek. It's like that Bean Boozled challenge: sometimes it tastes like watermelon, sometimes it tastes like boogers.

Quaffer Man, Quaffer Man/does whatever a Quaffer Man can./Can he quaffer in your mouth?/Yes, he can 'cause he's the man!

So look out for the Quaffer Man/and close the zipper on his pants!

Mr Googly/bring me some cream/make it the stickiest that I've ever seen/gimme your teat and gimme your quaffer/it'll be like a dirty shower

Anyone aching for some fresh quaffer? Anyone wanna milk my hairy udder? PM me your stats and a dickpic and maybe we can meet.

So ... Anyone been to Syria lately? I hear all the men have left so it should be pretty easy to score some pussy over there.

I know it sounds tempting, but trust me when I tell you to never put a tie-wrap around your nutsack. Rubberbands are okay, but no tie-wraps.

I've overheard some people saying that Sander is now called Sandra and that he or rather she only charges 50 bucks for a buttfuck.

When you jerk off with Elmer's Glue instead of body lotion, it'll look like your penis belongs in an episode of The Walking Dead.