Comments on Profile Post by zegh8578

  1. zegh8578
    zegh8578
    genetic manipulation

    so, he should either be shooting the web out his ass, or at least an ass-adjacent gland-hole, or possibly even his dick
    Jun 20, 2019
  2. Squadcar
    Squadcar
    Originally, he built the web shooters and I *think* the mutation caused some sort of instinctual knowledge that helped him learn to build them. He was also already a very bright student, which helped.
    Jun 20, 2019
    TorontRayne likes this.
  3. TorontRayne
    TorontRayne
    Web shooters. The organic webshooters came about in the Ultimate series. I would argue he could shoot webs out his ass but he never tried. It would be a bit awkward to run around with your asshole hanging out. Not very handy in a fight.
    Jun 20, 2019
  4. Richwizard
    Richwizard
    He built web shooters that he wrist mounted so he could activate them manually with a finger switch on his palm. Originally, he was able to build them just because he was that smart. He boasted, to himself, about how smart he was for being able to build them and make his web fluid.
    Jun 20, 2019
  5. TorontRayne
    TorontRayne
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar likes this.
  6. Squadcar
    Squadcar
    Toront! I loved that show as a kid! I probably have some old VHS tapes with episodes on them still. Thanks for the throwback haha.
    Jun 20, 2019
    TorontRayne likes this.
  7. Walpknut
    Walpknut
    Because the mutation also gave him sphincters on his wrists, he kept his secret with Aunt May by caiming they were stigmatas, and he also uses that to pick up girls in Adventist churches.
    Jun 20, 2019
  8. TorontRayne
    TorontRayne
    Jun 20, 2019
  9. zegh8578
    zegh8578
    Wait, so he can't organically build web!? Then what did the spider transfer? A slightly heightened sort of... then why "spider"-man? Why not just "hightened-senses-man"??
    Jun 20, 2019
  10. TorontRayne
    TorontRayne
    Super strength, sense, agility...lots of shit.
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar likes this.
  11. TorontRayne
    TorontRayne
    Later they added more lore that over complicated it. Spider Gods and nonsense but that was only 15 years or so ago now.
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar likes this.
  12. zegh8578
    zegh8578
    I'm dissapointed now. Real-organic-ass-shooting spider man had so much potential
    Jun 20, 2019
  13. Squadcar
    Squadcar
    You know when you go to squash a spider and it bolts? Yeah, Spider-Man does that too when Galactus (or any other giant like Sentinels) gets a boot to swing at him.
    Jun 20, 2019
    TorontRayne likes this.
  14. TorontRayne
    TorontRayne
    I believe they can sense our bioelectric field.
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar likes this.
  15. Richwizard
    Richwizard
    Sphincterman, Sphincterman, does whatever a sphincter can
    Drops a turd any size, catches thieves just like flies
    Look out, here comes the Sphincterman.

    Is he strong? Listen bud, he's got radioactive crud
    Can he smell like the dead? Take a sniff up ahead
    Hey, there! There goes the Sphincterman.
    Jun 20, 2019
    zegh8578 likes this.
  16. Richwizard
    Richwizard
    In the chill of the night At the scene of a crime
    Like a dash of blight he arrives just in time

    Sphincterman, Sphincterman, friendly neighborhood, Sphincterman
    Even though, he's abhorred, action is his reward
    Look out, here comes the Sphincterman
    Jun 20, 2019
    zegh8578 likes this.
  17. Richwizard
    Richwizard
    Sphincterman, Sphincterman, friendly neighborhood, Sphincterman
    Even though, he's abhorred, action is his reward
    To him, life's a chance to suck up, whenever there's a fuck up,
    You'll find the Sphincterman!
    Jun 20, 2019
    zegh8578 likes this.
  18. Walpknut
    Walpknut
    Look man, it was the 60's, Stan Lee probably read some factoid about spiders on the back of a soda cap or on a popsicle stick while inhaling a bunch of cocaine and thought it would make for a good comic book if a guy had those skills.
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar, TorontRayne and zegh8578 like this.
  19. zegh8578
    zegh8578
    I've been visualizing a pants-on-his-ankles superherodude swinging from his own ass-silk, he'd clench, loosen from the thread, do his usual summersaults, for then to aim his rectum, shoot another string of ass-silk, and keep swinging, "wooo-ho-hooo!"
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar likes this.
  20. Walpknut
    Walpknut
    In the Venture bros. There is a character that is a anatomically correct Spiderman. He has a butthole on his spine that he cleans with a q-tip.
    Jun 20, 2019
    Squadcar and zegh8578 like this.
  21. Squadcar
    Squadcar
    I love Venture Bros. I haven't seen it in forever since I don't have TV anymore though. Should look into buying the seasons.
    Jun 21, 2019