Introduce yourself! AKA the "Say hello" thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Brother None, Sep 4, 2003.

  1. Brother None

    Brother None This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Apr 3, 2003
    Hello all you newbies. This thread is where you post your "Hello, I'm..." posts and introduce yourself to the forums.

    Welcome!
     
  2. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
    Hello! I'm Ratty and I'm new here! :D

    Heh. I always wanted to do this.

    Wish there was one when I joined. :roll:
     
  3. Ozrat

    Ozrat Antediluvian as Feck
    Orderite

    Apr 2, 2003
    Hello, and I'm Ratty's distant cousin from the cheese state! Uh, I'm relatively new here! Okay, write your responces, you newborn NMAers!
     
  4. Vimes

    Vimes Vault Fossil

    May 8, 2003
    Though I'm no newbie I'll introduce myself anyway.

    The name's Aragorn [A name which i picked a loooooooooong time ago - must be around 11 years now] of the Order.

    I'm a musician (guitar - technical death metal/trash/blues) and I'm an absolute Fallout freak. That's about it.

    And I like Homeworld.
     
  5. Briosafreak

    Briosafreak Lived Through the Heat Death

    Dec 18, 2003
  6. Ugly John

    Ugly John So Old I'm Losing Radiation Signs

    Apr 3, 2003
    You forgot to mention that you are a post-a-holic.
     
  7. Odin

    Odin Carbon Dated and Proud
    Admin

    Apr 2, 2003
    Hello, my name is Bob and I've got tits. I've used steroids on a regular basis and still enjoy a huge one stuck up my ass.....no wait, I saw that in a movie..doh!
     
  8. Loxley

    Loxley Water Chip? Been There, Done That

    Apr 11, 2003
    Hello my name is Loxley i´m also an alcoholic, I´m currently taking a cmas scuba diving certificate. From norway the best country in the world, (don´t try to argue this one you know you are wrong ;) ). I hunt poor deffensless birds in my spare time, because i think it is fun. I´m also an atehist.
     
  9. Ancient Oldie

    Ancient Oldie Still Mildly Glowing

    Aug 30, 2003
    *switches to 3rd person mode*

    To know who Ancient Oldie is, you need to know who Ancient Oldie was...

    Conceived in 1880 by an inhuman union of platypus, cuban cigar, and "Lilly, the Fat Bearded Wench", main attraction and star of a traveling circus (how it happened is another, steamy tale ;)), He was born on April 7, 1881 and was named Oldie. Upon delivery, he raised his right tiny, baby fist in the air and proclaimed, "I'm going to break the Guiness record for the oldest person in the world, you just wait and see." unbeknownst to him at the time, he had also broken the record for "youngest person to speak a full complete sentence, conjuctions and everything", however the Guiness Association didn't exist at the time to confirm this momentous event... nor are they responsible for creating that last grammatically butchered title.

    His early childhood and teenage years were rather ordinary for the son of of a famed circus freak. He once tried in vain to breed a cow, pig, lamb, fish, and chicken in an attempt to create an abomination that would fulfill his desire for offending all vegans. However, tragedy struck when the Abominable Snowman confused his mother for a sexual mate and eloped to the mountains with her. By all accounts, Oldie's mother found the yeti unrefined, yet charming in an exotic, legendary monster sort of way. Upon hearing this, Oldie once again raised his right fist in the air and vowed to "find my mother and kick that bigfoot motherfuckers ass".

    Halfway up Mount Nuttobutt, Oldie slipped and fell into the mountain's famed, giant crevice. Miraculously, instead of breaking every bone in his body and leaving behind something that can be best described as a bloody mass of lumpy goo, he became lodged in ice and was frozen in a state of suspended animation. Only until recently has anyone been able to explain how this is possible, but the one man that knows how, Mr. Stephen Speilburg, refuses to elaberate on the grounds that it would give away the plot to his next overrated, rehashed tripe of a movie.

    Because of the global-warming induced super summer of 1991, Oldie was thawed out of the ice cube he had called home for the past 90 years. Unlike what the "Believers of Walt Disney's Frozen Head" (known as BWDFH for short) say, being frozen in a state of suspended animation, (or SSA) doesn't prevent the advent of aging (commonly known as IOF, or "irritable old-fuck" disease). He was a 110 years old and confronted by a brave new world.

    Luck was on his when he found a job with the Hip-Hop group, the "Wu-Tang Clan", appearing in many of their videos as the old kung-fu guy who kicks everyone ass. Experts say that the reason he got the job was because of a speech impediment he had, known as Shittydub's disease, in which his lips and words don't flow together correctly. During his time with the group, he received the title "Ancient Pimp Fizzle Shnizzle", but everyone called him Ancient Oldie for short.

    However, all was not good at the Clan. One day, Ancient Oldie and Old Dirty Bastard started an argument over who truly was older, dirtier, and a bastard. Because of it, Oldie was forced to leave Wu-Tang and Old Dirty Bastard (currently known as Dirt McGirt) has changed his name several times since.

    Feeling utterly crushed and depressed, Ancient Oldie tried to find some way to cope with these feelings, and became addicted to Viagra and internet porn. One day while browsing a porn site called "Chicks with Salami's", Oldie, to his horror, saw his first she-male. Disgusted (but slightly aroused), he raised his left fist in the air (the usual right fist had more pressing matters on hand), and declared that he would find a porn site that was "free of evil hermaphrodites". In his search, he came across a site titled "No Mutants Allowed". Believing that this would be the answer to his quest, he was quickly disappointed to discover that it was only a site devoted to some crappy old games. He joined the forum solely to complain about the false advertisement, but upon seeing the foolishness that pervaded the board, decided that gracing it with his ever-annoying presence would be a more suitable punishment.

    *The written document above may or may not be a poor, tasteless attempt of comedy by a mentally disturbed 22 year old college student driven mad by his current job as a customer service representatice at a callcenter.
     
  10. Briosafreak

    Briosafreak Lived Through the Heat Death

    Dec 18, 2003
    Ahhahahahahahahah

    Great one Oldie :D
     
  11. Ugly John

    Ugly John So Old I'm Losing Radiation Signs

    Apr 3, 2003
    my sig says it all
     
  12. alec

    alec Stuck In The Middle With You Orderite

    May 21, 2003
    Well, I'm Blade Runner, but before the new lay-out of NMA I was called Alec.
    I'm a young Flemish author (who gets published in Amsterdam) and I got addicted to Fallout and Fallout 2 in 2000. I'm also one of the few guys around here who actually thinks that Fallout Tactics is a swell game (but I'll keep quiet about that in the future, okay?).
    What else? Well, I also smoke lots of dope, because I have a way too weak stomach to become a full-time alcoholic (threw up last night after only 8 beers, so I know what I'm talking about).
    And I'm single again after a relationship of 4 years, but I still have sex with my ex (because I'm weak and she's so goddamn beautiful).
    I generally think that life sucks and I try to convince everyone that this is indeed the case. That's why most people hate my guts, I suppose. Too old to change, though.
     
  13. Demostrike

    Demostrike Still Mildly Glowing

    Apr 2, 2003
    Hi im Gameshark and I do not see the point in this thread.
     
  14. sztupy

    sztupy Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    Apr 4, 2003
    And I'm the Big Brother and I'm waching you...
     
  15. Briosafreak

    Briosafreak Lived Through the Heat Death

    Dec 18, 2003
    There is an history of people coming to these boards and making "Hello" threads, they just take space and time to lock, so this way all the new guys and girls that want to say hi and introduce themselves now have a space to do it.
     
  16. Demostrike

    Demostrike Still Mildly Glowing

    Apr 2, 2003
    Fair enough, though im not the one o say whats is and isnt fair around here. ;)
     
  17. syko

    syko It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Sep 2, 2003
    yeah hey im a newbie and my names syko and im 15 and i like natalie portman(im looking at you welsh)
     
  18. welsh

    welsh This ghoul has seen it all

    Apr 5, 2003
    Hahaha. That was syko, and he's probably still getting in touch with his feelings for Natalie Portman. Be careful, youngster! Many have gone blind down that route!

    I'm welsh. After Ancient's bit, just can't top it.

    I think I'm one of the old folks here and I grumble.
     
  19. Mohrg

    Mohrg Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Jun 27, 2003
    I'm Mohrg and I like clowns and "Blue Footed Boobies," you know those craaazy birds....

    Mohrg :twisted:
     
  20. syko

    syko It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Sep 2, 2003
    Ahah ha hahahah aha, not funny. I don't jack-off over natalie portman, welsh. I much prefer to jack off over you, you sexy man beast :wink: