Ratty counts down his favorite games

Discussion in 'General Gaming and Hardware Forum' started by Ratty Sr., Nov 16, 2006.

  1. Per

    Per Vault Consort Staff Member Admin

    Apr 1, 2004
    The fuck!!!
     
  2. SuAside

    SuAside Testament to the ghoul lifespan
    Admin

    May 27, 2004
    IT'S ALIVE! ALIVE!!!!!!
     
  3. Pope Viper

    Pope Viper This ghoul has seen it all
    Orderite

    Dec 9, 2003
    Falls out of chair.
     
  4. KQX

    KQX Vault Senior Citizen

    May 3, 2003
    *heartattack*
     
  5. Tagaziel

    Tagaziel Panzerkatze Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Dec 10, 2003
    Ratty is god.

    *dies*
     
  6. The Vault Dweller

    The Vault Dweller always looking for water.

    Aug 24, 2004
    Who is Falls and why is he out of his chair?

    Sincerely,
    The Vault Dweller

    P.S.

    Hi Ratty.
     
  7. DirtyDreamDesigner

    DirtyDreamDesigner Venerable Relic of the Wastes
    Moderator

    Apr 15, 2005
    Jesus Christ, it's Ratty, get in the car!

    He prolly got dumped
     
  8. Maphusio

    Maphusio Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Sep 25, 2004
    Its OK, just point at the doll right where that dirty rat touched you... And then we will cut that part off and sterilize it. :wink:
     
  9. zioburosky13

    zioburosky13 Vault Senior Citizen

    Jun 24, 2004
    Mom always cook the best rat pie at home. :ugly:
     
  10. Wooz

    Wooz Vault Sweeper Admin Orderite

    May 18, 2003
    If you're planning to review KOTOR 2 and fail to mention the absolutely idiotic, game- destroying bug in Korriban's secret tomb, Imma beat your rat ass.
     
  11. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
    Finally, the day has come. Your wishes are granted. Your prayers answered. Your desires fulfilled. After striking an unexpectedly successful blow against Kharn's favorite games list (a.k.a. the only favorite games list that could potentially rival mine), I have decided to press my advantage and treat you all to that which you have yearned for since 2006. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to have your faces rocked, for the long-awaited new entry in Ratty's favorite games list is here at last!

    11. Dungeon Keeper - Bullfrog Productions / Electronic Arts (1997)

    Another one has entered my domain. Another pissant lordling treads the putrid halls of my Dungeon, gripping a greatsword the size of a lamp post, strutting in his shiny armor like an oversized peacock. His pompous demeanor belies his fear of this place, fear of me. But he still does not fear enough.

    I know his kind. High-born heroes, paragons of justice, deflowerers of virgins. Self-righteous pricks. I am now witnessing the extent of his ability, the one thing he excels at - strutting in plate and wielding a pointed lump of metal. Not much of a skillset there, prospective employee - I'm not sure if we have a place for you in our company.

    The lordling approaches a populated section of the Dungeon. My Imps scatter in his wake, the cowardly little wretches. Someone in his entourage clumsily triggers a Lightning Trap and gives everyone a shock, literally. Welcome to our corporate HQ, prospective employees. Sure, the view isn't much and we won't win any workplace safety awards, but once you meet the people, you will never want to go away.



    Name: Imp
    Position: Janitor


    The lordling bursts into the first room - the lobby, if you please - and meets the people. Just a couple of Troll interns, nothing a warrior of his caliber can't handle. Your interviewer will be here in a minute, candidate, but meet some of our company veterans in the meantime. Enter Bile Demon, grumpy as always - but you would be grumpy too if you had languished in a mid-level managerial position for most of your career. Are those beads of sweat on your forehead, candidate? That's okay, anxiety is normal before an important interview.



    Name: Bile Demon
    Position: Director of Accounting




    Name: Warlock
    Position: Director of Market Research


    Suddenly, a Shadow falls upon the lobby and temperature falls slightly below the Dungeon optimum (10 degrees, 98% humidity). Shivers travel up the lordling's spine. Before him steps an enormous figure - a red-skinned demon with grinning mouth full of razor-sharp teeth and two huge horns protruding out of his head. It is Him. The Horned Reaper, the greatest of my minions. Meet your interviewer, dear candidate. And boy are you in luck, for it is none other than our HR director himself.

    The Reaper grips an enormous scythe in his claws. He raises it and brings it down, slicing the lordling's head clean off. And in those final microseconds of his existence, as the scythe's blade swiftly approaches his tender neck, the lordling truly knows fear.



    Name: Horned Reaper
    Position: Director of Human Resources


    The thump of the disembodied head as it hits the ground is drowned in screams. As my minions make short work of the poor wretches in the lordling's entourage, indolent trolls start kicking the rolling head around the lobby. No team-building exercise is complete without football. As the fighting subsides, Imps arrive and drag the lordling's corpse off into my Graveyard to be resurrected as a mighty Vampire. Welcome to Dungeon Inc., new employee. You may have been a dumb jock for most of your life, but we will unlock your full potential. It is but one of many things we excel at.



    Name: Vampire
    Position: Director of Legal Department




    Name: Dark Mistress
    Position: Secretary to the CEO


    Author's note: You may be wondering by now what that silly story is all about. Simply put, I felt that Dungeon Keeper, being one of the most innovative and entertaining strategy games of all, couldn't be adequately summarized in a dry feature write-up. However, if my clumsy efforts at prose aren't enough to convince you that there is truly something special about this game, then pay attention: Dungeon Keeper is the key to understanding why Peter Molyneux was once regarded as the greatest living game designer. Much like in his earlier classics Populous, Powermonger and Theme Park, in Dungeon Keeper innovative concept, addictive gameplay and quality British humor come together and combine into an outstanding and impeccable game experience. If there is such a thing as the perfect game, Dungeon Keeper must be it. And no matter what bumper sticker wisdom says, it is good to be evil.
     
  12. Verevoof

    Verevoof Cryptid oTO Moderator Orderite

    Jul 12, 2009
    Dungeon Keeper is one of my favorite games, definitely in my top 10. Certainly my favorite strategy game. Yeah, there are balance issues, once you get like a level 10 Dark Mistress or Dragon you can pretty much just breeze through an area. But still fun, and addictive, as hell.
     
  13. Sander

    Sander This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Jul 5, 2003
    How the fuck is a game that you claim is the closest thing to perfection only #11 on your list?
     
  14. Hamenaglar

    Hamenaglar It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Jun 2, 2009
    Because it's his list and he can do whatever he wants?
     
  15. Sander

    Sander This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Jul 5, 2003
    That's not an answer to why his internal logic seems inconsistent. That's an answer to 'Why is Ratty allowed to do that?'.
     
  16. Multidirectional

    Multidirectional Mildly Dipped

    Sep 12, 2008
    Favoring something personally isn't the same as seeing something as "close to perfection" objectively. It's the same thing BN had to repeat over and over in his list, no?
    VTM: Bloodlines would easily make it in my top 3, but would that mean I consider it being close to perfection? Of course not, it's a massively flawed game and I could never honestly say it's near perfect, yet it still would be way higher on my favorite's list than some other way more polished games.
     
  17. marko2te

    marko2te Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    Sep 24, 2008
    Dungeon Keeper is one of my favorite games. The only fault I can find about it is that its too easy, but beside that the game is great.

    Never liked the second part, tried it but just could not get into it.
     
  18. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
     
  19. BR4ZIL

    BR4ZIL Still Mildly Glowing

    Feb 22, 2008
    PER, WE NEED YOU AGAIN!!!! :crazy:
     
  20. Sander

    Sander This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Jul 5, 2003
    Given that it's an entertainment product, I'd expect it to be perfectly entertaining when called perfect.

    But, apparently Dungeon Keeper is the perfect game except when it comes to entertainment. Okay, cool. I loved Dungeon Keeper.