RPGs for the stupid

Discussion in 'General Gaming and Hardware Forum' started by Ratty Sr., Dec 14, 2004.

  1. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
    Alright, all of you clueless masses who lack understanding of RPG basics and have the nerve to place Fallout in the same basket with Baldur's Gate and Morrowind are about to receive a valuable lesson from your generous RPG expert Ratty. Here I submitted simple graphs, hand-drawn in Paint, that display game progression of certain popular RPG and "RPG" games in such a simple manner that even a complete retard could understand them. This means you, Bethesda and BioWare fans!



    Neverwinter Nights, much like both Baldur's Gate games, is like an incredibly long and boring train ride. If you managed to replay this game, hats down to you. Maybe later you can show me your world's largest dental floss collection.



    KotOR is like Neverwinter Nights with an amazing twist. Still a train ride, but with excitement near the end of the trip.



    Need I say more?



    A screenshot from Arcanum should be in the dictionary next to the term "access violation".



    If NWN and KotOR are train rides, Morrowind is a train wreck. If you managed to replay this game, hats down to you. Maybe later I can show you my shotgun.


    If you still haven't reached the end of Planescape: Torment, you probably don't understand the main detail of this graph. When you do, you will feel like an idiot. Regrets won't be the only thing you will want to carve into skin.
     
  2. SuAside

    SuAside Testament to the ghoul lifespan
    Admin

    May 27, 2004
    nice one ratty, although i really dont concur with the Arcanum bit :)
     
  3. Briosafreak

    Briosafreak Lived Through the Heat Death

    Dec 18, 2003
    I`m not sure about everything you say, but that´s a wonderfull piece of work Ratty :ok:
     
  4. Suicide Candidate

    Suicide Candidate It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Sep 15, 2004
    Simple, yet effective. Bravo, our rodent f(r)iend!
     
  5. Roshambo

    Roshambo Antediluvian as Feck

    Apr 3, 2003
    You forgot the Baldur's Gate and Baldur's Gate II

    Start, "Roleplay" (Character Creation), slug through a story that makes Gold Box look brilliant as most of the speech is poorly-crafted to the point where it's annoying, the end. :)

    I might have to draw a path form for Bloodlines, and while it behaves in "linear" ways where you won't be able to go back into select locations after you have done certain events, or you might have to go off into a map for awhile and then leave (unable to return again), you can leave most things for later unless it might involve an item from one of those select locations.

    This seems a bit more practical, as some locations would have been filled with a lot of police after that. You also wouldn't have reason to go to other areas until you are made aware of them, as the location really is immense and hence how Kindred hide so well. Yet, it still has the freedom of movement and acting feel that Fallout had.
     
  6. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
    I admit that one is a bit evil. The first time I played Arcanum I couldn't do some quests due to game-crashing bugs, so I just stopped playing. Later, when I wanted to return to Arcanum again, there were a lot of patches out already, so I patched the game and majority of bugs were gone (not all, but at least the game stopped crashing). I quit playing before reaching the end, but for different reasons.

    Neverwinter Nights path pretty much applies to both Baldur's Gate games. I'll edit my post and mention that.

    Now that the thread has been made a sticky, I'm almost ashamed of the crude manner in which I drew the images. Later I might redraw them with a more professional tool to make them prettier - if I'm not too lazy, that is.
     
  7. calculon000

    calculon000 Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Feb 10, 2004
    Those diagrams are the best thing ever. You made my afternoon Ratty. :D
     
  8. SimpleMinded

    SimpleMinded Vault Fossil

    Jun 17, 2003
    aye, well done and very fitting to the games described :)
     
  9. Mohrg

    Mohrg Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Jun 27, 2003
    You forgot Final Fantasy! I love Final Fantasy! Bestest RPahG's eva!

    Mohrg :twisted:
     
  10. Jabbapop

    Jabbapop Still Mildly Glowing

    Jun 1, 2004
    apart from fallout, then, what rpgs are good?
     
  11. Mohrg

    Mohrg Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Jun 27, 2003
    Doom, because you take the role of a Space Marine.

    Mohrg :twisted:
     
  12. calculon000

    calculon000 Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Feb 10, 2004
    Maybe this is just my opinion, but to me Final Fantasy 10 went something like this:
     
  13. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
    I`m sorry, but I couldn`t come up with a diagram derisive enough for such a shitty non-RPG.
     
  14. Macaco

    Macaco Where'd That 6th Toe Come From?

    Jul 13, 2004
    I really loved the morrowind one, would only make a simple modification to arcanum according to my experiences: the end should just say "fuck it", stop branching and go straight to the end... I really stopped caring about doing side quests and reading the story right around the elven city...
     
  15. Dracon M'Alkir

    Dracon M'Alkir Vault Senior Citizen

    Jul 19, 2004


    My view on Morrowind.

    Regards,
    DarkLegacy
     
  16. Josh

    Josh Vault Senior Citizen

    Jul 8, 2003
    Thats extremely unfair on Arcanum. Sure it crashes frueqently, but under the wash of bugs and glitches is a very good RPG that has made its way into my top 10.
     
  17. SuAside

    SuAside Testament to the ghoul lifespan
    Admin

    May 27, 2004
    meh...

    the first time i played Arcanum through it crashed twice. no other gamestopping bugs encountered. twice in about 40 hours of play isn't that much i'd say... (that was before the patches btw)

    either i was lucky or you guys are overreacting.
     
  18. Sander

    Sander This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Jul 5, 2003
    Well, that's what I thought until I played it a second time. Which was when the following happened:
    After having spent about fifteen minutes on creating the perfect character, I got into the game for a minute before it crashed.
    I then spent another ten minutes recreating the character, saved, and the game crashed.
    I then loaded the save, and got into combat, when I realised how much being a mage really sucked with the fatigue, and I started over.
    Then I created a new character, and after three minutes it crashed.
    In total it took me two goddamn hours to get past the first area. That was when I gave up. And when I started wondering why this was the first time I'd encountered that many crashes.

    Here's Vampire: Bloodlines:
     
  19. alec

    alec Stuck In The Middle With You Orderite

    May 21, 2003
    Arcanum has never ever crashed on me.
    Seriously.
    I think you people just have lousy computers//don't know shit about installing games/patches.
    Pf.

    Nice diagrams, though. Simple, but effective.
     
  20. Ratty Sr.

    Ratty Sr. Formerly known as Ratty Moderator Orderite

    Apr 23, 2003
    Or maybe your setup is one of several dozen in the world that runs Arcanum perfectly.