The Dutch Ghost
Last Activity:
Dec 9, 2021 at 1:17 AM
Joined:
Jan 11, 2004
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Albums:
1
Photos:
37

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Received: Given:
[What the fuck is this for a shit?] 0 0
[Masturbate furiously] 77 27
[Rad] 774 259
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Oct 23, 1979 (Age: 42)
Location:
Leeuwarden, The Netherlands
Occupation:
Ex-student

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The Dutch Ghost

Grouchy old man of NMA, Male, 42, from Leeuwarden, The Netherlands

Moderator

Yesterday must have been TDG torture day, because everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Nov 5, 2021

The Dutch Ghost was last seen:
Dec 9, 2021 at 1:17 AM
    1. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Yesterday must have been TDG torture day, because everything that could go wrong, went wrong.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        And earlier this week I also ruined a cooking pan while warming up beans.
        Nov 5, 2021
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I am reminded of an old sitcom gag, based on a beer commercial slogan.
        "Then you know its Miller time."
        Will if I drunk alcohol I sure could have gone for a drink.
        Nov 5, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        It felt almost fucking planned.
        If some TV show host came out of a van when I came back from the police and told me I was on some comedy gag show, I would have strangled him on the spot.
        Nov 5, 2021
    2. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Last Saturday was my birthday. I had wanted to post a message in the birthday topic but I don't think it has been updated since my last post
      1. The GoBernment likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        And thanks Hardboiled Android and SquidWard
        Oct 25, 2021
      4. Hardboiled Android
        Hardboiled Android
        For my part, I saw Oblivion in theaters. Hated it, bored out of my mind. It took Edge of Tomorrow to redeem Cruise in my eyes
        Oct 25, 2021
      5. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Oh, guess I should see that one as well.
        I would not say that Oblivion is brilliant, but I liked a couple of ideas.
        Main issue IMO was that it was so damn slow sometimes.
        Oct 25, 2021
        Hardboiled Android likes this.
    3. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I picked up a copy of Metroid Dread yesterday. At least I can say now that I have it, but I really don't feel like playing it any time soon.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. TorontoReign
        TorontoReign
        Because of your depression. Are you on anti depressants?
        Oct 9, 2021
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Oh, I never responded.
        Yeah, I am on this new medicine for several weeks now, but I have not taking it in steadily.
        Oct 17, 2021
      4. TorontoReign
        TorontoReign
        Then it won't work.
        Oct 17, 2021
    4. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Crap, I had a bit of a fever last week, and yesterday I had a runny noose and had to sneeze a lot. Have to cancel an appointment for a test.
      1. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        And this also costs me twenty-five euros which for me is not an expense I try to make daily.
        Sep 30, 2021
      2. Hardboiled Android
        Hardboiled Android
        COVID you think?
        Sep 30, 2021
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Nah, I expect it is a cold. Always have been susceptible to those during fall.
        Haven't really had a serious bout of flu since my teens.
        Results are in; negative.
        Oct 1, 2021
        Hardboiled Android likes this.
    5. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Felt depressed again because of frustration that I can not draw like my favorite artists, even the one I now hate and wish suffering to.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. TorontoReign
        TorontoReign
        It's not foolish to hope for the future because it takes that mindset to make good things happen. Be realistic and set small goals for yourself. Take care of yourself and take a shower every day it helps.
        Sep 10, 2021
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        God dammit. I have some of those days again that nothing seems to want to work in my head, including writing PMs.
        And when I see articles about people I look up to who have achieved a lot, I feel so overwhelmed by despair.
        Sep 22, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I could have done much today, but instead because I felt 'tired' again I spend most of the time just lounging behind my stupid computer doing didly squat instead of practicing Python.
        Sep 22, 2021
    6. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Welp, I cut myself again yesterday, for my damn flawed body failing me as it always does. I would like this to be the last year.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I have been trying for days now to give you a proper response, but nothing wants to come up in my damn mind.
        That is one of the reasons why I am so pissed at myself; that my mind is always so incredibly slow and lacking.
        But I cut myself because I hate myself.
        Aug 30, 2021
      3. Alphons
        Alphons
        But you wouldn't be such an enjoyable poster to read if that was true. Hope you get someone professional to talk to and get better.
        Aug 31, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        It has been a week now since I last cut myself, I think.
        But not because I feel better. More because the depression seems to be in respite.
        But it will be back again, that is guaranteed.
        Sep 7, 2021
    7. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I have been beating myself and cutting myself these last several weeks, including yesterday and today for so being stupid and incompetent.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. ironmask
        ironmask
        Please seek medical help. I had a brother go through this and I hate to see someone else go through this too, even if the person's a stranger.
        Aug 2, 2021
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I have talked with a doctor about my problems, and I have sought contact with a therapist. But therapy won't start for several more months because of a waiting list.
        But I feel that it is absolutely pointless as I become older and it becomes clear things will not be better.
        Aug 25, 2021
      4. Hardboiled Android
        Hardboiled Android
        It gladdens me more than you can know to know that you're seeking help, Ghost. Hang in there, really sucks about the waiting time.
        Aug 25, 2021
        ironmask likes this.
    8. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Feeling tense and overwhelmed with despair after a nap I couldn't prevent because of yesterday. Feel like I am in fight or flight mode.
      1. Morgan_
        Morgan_
        Go for a good jog. Eat better and stay on schedule. Don't allow yourself to get swept up in it too often. Hang out with friends of find a book or show you like.
        Jul 21, 2021
    9. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      And I successfully wasted another complete day. It is a fucking talent, the one thing I am good at.
      1. TorontoReign
        TorontoReign
        Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
        Jul 11, 2021
      2. Hardboiled Android
        Hardboiled Android
        something that always helps me is to set small, very short-term goals which aren't super hard to get to but aren't a big deal if you don't: wake up at such-and-such a time, have two or three little things to get done, be in bed by a reasonable hour
        Jul 11, 2021
        Alphons, ironmask and TorontoReign like this.
      3. TorontoReign
        TorontoReign
        Make sure the goal is something you won't fuck up though or you reinforce that failure mindset. Stop doing that by the way. Since I have known you you do nothing but put yourself down.
        Jul 11, 2021
    10. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I had to have my cat put to sleep after she has been sick for weeks. In a sense she was already gone, but it was still a hard decision.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Hardboiled Android
        Hardboiled Android
        What matters is that you gave her a good life for as long as you could here
        Jul 3, 2021
      3. Alphons
        Alphons
        I personally believe in an afterlife, but even if there's nothing after death I'm sure she left this world happy, knowing that you care about her.
        Jul 4, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Right now I just miss her so much. As she was no longer able to jump any more she no longer slept at the end of my bed, greeting me when I woke up.
        And now I don't find her on the back of the couch, windowsill, or under a table any more.
        Jul 4, 2021
    11. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      There are days such as the last couple that I honestly wish that Death would stop playing hide and seek and just claim me.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Rather late with responding because of my usual bullshit (I'm great at that).
        I have been in therapy on and off over the years, and it has not helped me that much.
        One of the frustrations is that I always asked to lower my expectations and accept my life as it is.
        As my life is mediocre and pointless, what is there to embrace?
        Jul 1, 2021
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Being dead would actually be an "upgrade", as even those few hopes I have that keep me going on will be off my mind, along with my frustrations, memories, reminder that this is it.
        Jul 1, 2021
      4. Hardboiled Android
        Hardboiled Android
        I would reccomend at least trying therapy again if you really are at such a low point, and quite frankly getting medicated if you aren't already - there's a stigma but the stuff is there for people who really need it, and someone I know who has gone on antidepressants has been reporting really wonderful results.
        Jul 1, 2021
    12. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Ugh, I keep thinking about how I would fix FOBOS1 and 2, and make them enjoyable. Mainly because I feel sad.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Perhaps some people really have been overrating these titles because of nostalgia, but I also don't think that they should be considered "terrible" either.
        They're just "average", mostly because the game is very shallow and repetitive.
        May 10, 2021
      3. Morgan_
        Morgan_
        You want to commit suicide because Interplay Fallout is gone?
        Just play a 3d platformer instead.
        Jun 27, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I do not want to kill myself because Iplay is gone. Fuck Herve and Fargo.
        I feel frustrated because I can not accomplish anything on an equal level despite wanting so much to do so.
        Jun 27, 2021
    13. The Dutch Ghost
      1. Norzan
        Norzan
        Lol Bethesda fanboys will read too much into the shitty Bethesda Fallouts.
        Apr 22, 2021
      2. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I wish it would summon some ungodly horror that would drag them all into another dimension along with Bethesda itself.
        Apr 22, 2021
      3. TheGM
        TheGM
        REMEMBER LOVECRAFT WE PUT LOVECRAFT IN THE GAME BECAUSE WE REMEMBERED LOVECRAFT.
        Apr 22, 2021
    14. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I just had to call the veterinarian this evening to make an appointment to have my cat Lapke put to sleep as she is so sick. I feel cursed.
      1. Alphons likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        I apologize for the drama I may have caused as that was not my intention.
        Apr 11, 2021
      4. Alphons
        Alphons
        Great to hear it. Has your vet suggested anything?
        Apr 11, 2021
        The Dutch Ghost likes this.
      5. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Not really other than continue giving her the pills I am giving her now, and monitor her condition.
        The weird thing is; she has started eating again.
        Apr 12, 2021
    15. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      1. Cobra Commander and XNarrol like this.
      2. Norzan
        Norzan
        It's so thin veiled that is trying so hard to be "controversial" just for the purpose of getting views, and hence get ad revenue. It's pathetic and shameful.

        Specially when the article does such a piss poor job explaining anything, and skims so much from each game to make its "points".
        Mar 4, 2021
        TheGM likes this.
      3. TheGM
        TheGM
        Now that is a fucking work if I ever seen one. everything Norzan said is correct and that is just some rage bait article with the goal of attracting fallout turbonerds to harass the author on social media. jokes on them, there are no more fallout tubronerds, they all died.
        Mar 4, 2021
      4. XNarrol
        XNarrol
        Mar 4, 2021
    16. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I would really like to talk with some of the other writers here about my Fallout Texas ideas. I would like to hear their thoughts.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        While I would like there to be references and some links to FO1, 2, and FNV, the idea is to create a setting with its own factions and organizations. So no NCR or BOS, but instead Lone Star and Followers of the ATLANTIS.
        Feb 24, 2021
      3. TheGM
        TheGM
        I wanna see Fallout Pirates! like those dudes from Water World.
        Feb 24, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        If possible I would like there to be water themed raiders, and yes I had something like the Smokers in mind. They would be harassing the prospectors from the drowned city.
        Feb 27, 2021
    17. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Sometimes I wonder if I for my own dream Fallout project should perhaps only treat FO1 and FO2 as canon and ignore FNV.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. StopSigntheVendingMachine
        StopSigntheVendingMachine
        NV is still respected enough by fans to be accepted as canon.
        Jan 25, 2021
      3. Aurelius Of Phoenix
        Aurelius Of Phoenix
        I feel the Van Buren documents leave a more consistent and interesting world than NV at the end of the day.
        Jan 25, 2021
      4. The Dutch Ghost
        The Dutch Ghost
        Hello all, sorry for not responding
        Aurelius, that is also what I sort of have. I like FNV but I feel that VB would have been a better continuation and place to continue from.
        To much was cut to fit in FNV.
        Jan 25, 2021
    18. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I godhonestly don't know what games to look forwards to, and please don't bring up Cyberpunk 2077
      1. View previous comments...
      2. BigGuyCIA
        BigGuyCIA
        Civ 6 is pretty great now. Prefer it over 5 but mainly because I'm sick of the art deco UI theme.
        Nov 3, 2020
        Atomic Postman likes this.
      3. Alphons
        Alphons
        Two previous Expeditions games are Conquistador and Vikings. Fun tactical encounters mixed with a good amount of choice&consequence in a really interesting settings (games take a few liberties with the history).
        Nov 3, 2020
      4. zegh8578
        zegh8578
        I'm looking forward to Gran Turismo 7
        Nov 3, 2020
    19. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      Microsoft buying Fallout doesn't change nothing we are all still fucked. In other news, I wish I was dead every day.
      1. Romanophile and SquidWard like this.
    20. The Dutch Ghost
      The Dutch Ghost
      I was looking at Modiphius Fallout Warfare game again. I am so disappointed that this thing is based on Bethesda's crap.
      1. KingArthur likes this.
      2. KingArthur
        KingArthur
        Fallout Tabletop should’ve been West Coast. #changemymind
        Aug 2, 2020
      3. Atomic Postman
        Atomic Postman
        As if it'd be anything else. The tabletop RPG system is even worse. 2d20 instead of 1d100 and they're going to simplify skills
        Aug 2, 2020
      4. Atomic Postman
        Atomic Postman
        Why on earth you'd want to lobotomize the RPG features for a tabletop audience with an original system that is perfectly applicable to dice rolls in the first place I don't know
        Aug 2, 2020
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Oct 23, 1979 (Age: 42)
    Location:
    Leeuwarden, The Netherlands
    Occupation:
    Ex-student
    Games, comics, movies, reading, writing, drawing

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