2278. ( Fallout 3 continued) ( Good Karma) ( M LW)

DandyBoyApples

First time out of the vault
( The Lone Wanderer's life after the Event's of Fallout 3, with a twist)

The Lone Wanderer, Isaac, brushed his hair from his eyes. Sitting next to his fellow citizen's in Megaton, who altogether, bought him a 20 microfusion cell's, 100 308's and Grognak the Barbian, issue 4#, upon seeing the comic, he though about his good old day's in the Vault. He sighed, smiling at them,
" Thank's guy's...."

Within minute's, people returned to their duties, went back into their homes. Jericho sat next to him, Nova leant against the wall smoking and Gob sat down, taking order's. Isaac itched his cheek as they listened to Galaxy New's radio.

After the usual repeated song's, three dog began to speak.

" Don't town, some off my boy's found 6 holotape's, what does that mean, Three dog? A hundred new song's... Hurray! Talking about Hurray, it's our boy's from Vault 101's birth day, he's safe and sound... Boorah! Happy twentieth! Ol' three dog has sent a caravaner with a little present for you, back to the song's...."

" I don;t wan't to set the world on fire..." The song began,

" Happy birthday kid..." Nova said, finishing her last Ciggarete. Jericho grinned at him as usual. Gob nodded at him before taking someone's order.

Isaac stood up,
" I'll see you guy's later..." He said, walking out off the Saloon, it was mid-day, the only day he'd left his pip-boy in his house, he walked across the body of Collin Moriarty, who fell off the high balcony. Isaac had been accused, even though Isaac refused, no one cared.

Isaac made his way to his house, sitting down on his stool as he looked through his Journal, then to his pip-boy.

' Vault 101 signal'

He opened the file and listened, it was Amata's smooth voice, he hadn't heard her for about a year, he saved the vault and he got kicked out. He opened it.

" Hi Isaac, it's me Amata, hopefully you are still alive, as I once said, if anyone is going to survive out there, it's you, I've made the Vault as perfect as it once was. And... I am inviting you to the Vault to see us all, we're all missing you... I'm missing you... So please, come and see us... I've changed the password to my name, again." Isaac quickly slid on his Pip-boy, walking up stair's to his room. Dogmeat barked at him, he stroked Dogmeat. Fawkes was in the National Museum of History, he was giving the old mutant a break, Isaac picked up his Lincoln's repeater as he and Dogmeat ran from Megaton, on their way they passed a Caravan bring Aqua Pura to megaton, Isaac greeted the soldier's as he continued to run.

Isaac walked to the vault door, typing in ' Amata' he stood back as the giant steel door's opened quickly. Walking in, he nearly cried. He was home.
 
Hmm... I think you should have done a little bit grammar-checking here.

Also, is it the generic Fallout 3 tale which the Vault is full with? The dialogue, way of writing and nothing going on (outside simple descriptions, 'the light shined through the room', '"What's up?"', 'the radio was turned on and the music filled the room', 'he took his rifle, thought 'woohoo time to kick ass' and opened the door' etc). I can't blame you, but I think as you add more, you should just develop everything said, such as instead of the pointless description of Three Dog saying Happy Birthday, it could be used as a super plot twist later on.

I dunno, you make it up! Your story! :)
 
One little criticism on Amata's message.
When Amata sends the distress message to the Lone Wanderer, she makes sure not to say her name so that when the Lone Wanderer gets it, he is the only one who could possibly come in.
By having Amata say "Hey, it's Amata..... the password is my name" You're inviting the whole world into Vault 101.
 
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