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Guest
Guest
Ok, i got tired from my old story so i decided to make a new one from scratch, but with the same basic goals (lots of gore). Here goes.
P.S. Smaug, don't despair because i'm scrapping my old story, you can always copy this one... hehe just kidding.
A man is wandering the wastes. He's clad in what appears to be a normal leather jacket, but on second sight is heavily padded and actually has sewn in thin metal plates. He's not shaved for weeks, so a thick stubble covers his chin.
A combat shotgun is slung over his shoulder, and a Desert Eagle and a Uzi hangs at his hips. His belt is full of small leather pockets, in which he carries all his food, water, stimpacks, most of his ammo... and cigarettes. The latter is taking up by far the most space. In fact he's smoking one now as he walks.
He's whistling a hoarse tune between his teeth. Thick grey smoke comes out of his mouth with every blow. The cigs you can get after the war aren't exactly menthol.
When he gets to Diego he'll be sure to restock his tobacco plentifully. He's been stuck without a smoke before and he doesn't want to go through that again. A living nightmare.
Suddenly, a noise makes him stop whistling. The sound of a dry stick cracking behind him.
He whooshes around and pops out his Eagle in a split second. The leather-clad guy he's pointing the gun at doesn't look very hostile. To be frank, he looks pretty damn scared.
"Don't shoot! Please don't shoot! I won't hurt you! I'm not gonna hurt you! ... (gulp) you're not a raider, are you?"
"No." (He inadvertently spits out his cigarette as he speaks.) "Ah, damn it! No, my name is Rayne and I'm no raider. But how do i know YOU'RE not a raider?" (pushes his gun into the guy's face)
"I'm not! Why... why... why do you think i'm a raider?"
"That's about the stupidest question I've ever heard in my entire life. We're in the wastes! Anyone can be! Are you just dumb, or is this a trap-"
Rayne realizes the danger and snaps around with Eagle in hand. A leather-clad raider with an axe was sneaking up on him. When the raider sees that he's been spotted, he throws the axe towards Rayne and runs.
Behind Rayne, the other guy, who is really also a raider, is struggling with getting his knife out of the sheath.
Rayne throws himself out of the way of the incoming hatchet and starts shooting after the axe raider, who is now running away.
The other raider finally gets his knife out and looks for Rayne, but all he can see is the razor-bladed axe coming straight towards him. The axe hits him right above the eyes and gashes a deep cut through the top of his head, before it falls down with a thump. The raider throws himself to the ground screaming in pain and terror, his face covered in blood flowing from the top of his head.
Rayne gets up and runs after the other raider, who has disappeared behind some rocks. While running, he holsters his Eagle and draws his Uzi.
He stops ten metres from the rock pile, waiting for the raider to show himself. The raiders probably didn't have any guns, or they would have used them on him, so Rayne's not got much to fear.
The raider's high-pitch voice whines from behind the rocks.
"Don't shoot me! I surrender! I didn't do it! Jimmy made me do it! I'm coming out, if you won't shoot me! Don't shoot me!"
Rayne rolls his eyes and a new cigarette. He stuffs the cig in his mouth.
"Okay. I won't shoot. Just come out with your hands above your head and it'll be fine."
The raider comes out from his hiding place with hands up. It's just a kid. At least no more than eighteen. Well, if they're raiders, expect no more than backstabbing from them, regardless of their age.
Rayne makes no motion to lower the Uzi. Instead, he flicks it to full-auto.
"You didn't really think i was gonna let you go, did you, kid? For raiders, I don't think there can be any other punishment than this. See you in hell, son!"
Rayne presses the trigger. The raider tries to get back in cover but it's much too late. The Uzi shakes in Rayne's hand as it sprays the full package into the helpless raider. The armor piercing bullets easily penetrate the youngster's thin leather jacket and the impacts make him dance an absurd death dance. The raider's blood makes a nice painting on the rock wall behind him.
Rayne releases the trigger. As the raider slides slowly down the rock wall and lands with a muffled thud, Rayne has turned away and is already puffing his next cig. He whistles the same tune he was whistling when this little escapade started, and continues walking towards San Diego.
I think this was pretty good
any comments?
P.S. Smaug, don't despair because i'm scrapping my old story, you can always copy this one... hehe just kidding.
A man is wandering the wastes. He's clad in what appears to be a normal leather jacket, but on second sight is heavily padded and actually has sewn in thin metal plates. He's not shaved for weeks, so a thick stubble covers his chin.
A combat shotgun is slung over his shoulder, and a Desert Eagle and a Uzi hangs at his hips. His belt is full of small leather pockets, in which he carries all his food, water, stimpacks, most of his ammo... and cigarettes. The latter is taking up by far the most space. In fact he's smoking one now as he walks.
He's whistling a hoarse tune between his teeth. Thick grey smoke comes out of his mouth with every blow. The cigs you can get after the war aren't exactly menthol.
When he gets to Diego he'll be sure to restock his tobacco plentifully. He's been stuck without a smoke before and he doesn't want to go through that again. A living nightmare.
Suddenly, a noise makes him stop whistling. The sound of a dry stick cracking behind him.
He whooshes around and pops out his Eagle in a split second. The leather-clad guy he's pointing the gun at doesn't look very hostile. To be frank, he looks pretty damn scared.
"Don't shoot! Please don't shoot! I won't hurt you! I'm not gonna hurt you! ... (gulp) you're not a raider, are you?"
"No." (He inadvertently spits out his cigarette as he speaks.) "Ah, damn it! No, my name is Rayne and I'm no raider. But how do i know YOU'RE not a raider?" (pushes his gun into the guy's face)
"I'm not! Why... why... why do you think i'm a raider?"
"That's about the stupidest question I've ever heard in my entire life. We're in the wastes! Anyone can be! Are you just dumb, or is this a trap-"
Rayne realizes the danger and snaps around with Eagle in hand. A leather-clad raider with an axe was sneaking up on him. When the raider sees that he's been spotted, he throws the axe towards Rayne and runs.
Behind Rayne, the other guy, who is really also a raider, is struggling with getting his knife out of the sheath.
Rayne throws himself out of the way of the incoming hatchet and starts shooting after the axe raider, who is now running away.
The other raider finally gets his knife out and looks for Rayne, but all he can see is the razor-bladed axe coming straight towards him. The axe hits him right above the eyes and gashes a deep cut through the top of his head, before it falls down with a thump. The raider throws himself to the ground screaming in pain and terror, his face covered in blood flowing from the top of his head.
Rayne gets up and runs after the other raider, who has disappeared behind some rocks. While running, he holsters his Eagle and draws his Uzi.
He stops ten metres from the rock pile, waiting for the raider to show himself. The raiders probably didn't have any guns, or they would have used them on him, so Rayne's not got much to fear.
The raider's high-pitch voice whines from behind the rocks.
"Don't shoot me! I surrender! I didn't do it! Jimmy made me do it! I'm coming out, if you won't shoot me! Don't shoot me!"
Rayne rolls his eyes and a new cigarette. He stuffs the cig in his mouth.
"Okay. I won't shoot. Just come out with your hands above your head and it'll be fine."
The raider comes out from his hiding place with hands up. It's just a kid. At least no more than eighteen. Well, if they're raiders, expect no more than backstabbing from them, regardless of their age.
Rayne makes no motion to lower the Uzi. Instead, he flicks it to full-auto.
"You didn't really think i was gonna let you go, did you, kid? For raiders, I don't think there can be any other punishment than this. See you in hell, son!"
Rayne presses the trigger. The raider tries to get back in cover but it's much too late. The Uzi shakes in Rayne's hand as it sprays the full package into the helpless raider. The armor piercing bullets easily penetrate the youngster's thin leather jacket and the impacts make him dance an absurd death dance. The raider's blood makes a nice painting on the rock wall behind him.
Rayne releases the trigger. As the raider slides slowly down the rock wall and lands with a muffled thud, Rayne has turned away and is already puffing his next cig. He whistles the same tune he was whistling when this little escapade started, and continues walking towards San Diego.
I think this was pretty good
any comments?