G
Guest
Guest
This is only part of the next chapter, I am posting it in order to get the opinions and suggestions of others on this board. Remember: this is just part of the next chapter and is a draft.
A desert, or to be more precise, a Wasteland, lies ahead. through the middle of it is a long cracked, weed filled, two lane road. It's lines faded to a pale shade of what they once were. This road streaches to the horizon. In the center of the road sits a woman. She is kneeling above a child. The child's shirt is covered in redness and the ground beneath him is red.
Woman: (sobbing)
In the distance noises are heard, they are voices, and distinctly masculine at that. A few minutes pass and the voices can still be heard, along with a mettalic grumble. A few more minutes pass, then a shot is heard. The woman falls to the ground on top of the child with a dull thud and blood starts to seep out onto to the road around her. The voices get closer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am walking down a long road, it is weed filled and paled with age, but it still is the quickest way to walk. I just have realized that I was humming a tune, "Mine eyes have seen the glory, of the coming of the lord." I look around and think to myself humoressly,
-this is the glory of the lord?, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....
I suddenly come upon a corpse in the road.
-hmmm, interesting, I wonder how he died, or is it a she, I can’t tell…..
--god, that is creepy, I think I am going to be sick, my god how disgusting, how sad…how
-hunh… it doesn’t look that old, must have been killed a few days ago…
--who could do such a thing. I mean, that’s inhuman, that’s…that’s…disgusting, my god.
I want to throw up and at the same time stay and examine the corpse.
thats the end of the draft for now, please give suggestions and opinions of it.
A desert, or to be more precise, a Wasteland, lies ahead. through the middle of it is a long cracked, weed filled, two lane road. It's lines faded to a pale shade of what they once were. This road streaches to the horizon. In the center of the road sits a woman. She is kneeling above a child. The child's shirt is covered in redness and the ground beneath him is red.
Woman: (sobbing)
In the distance noises are heard, they are voices, and distinctly masculine at that. A few minutes pass and the voices can still be heard, along with a mettalic grumble. A few more minutes pass, then a shot is heard. The woman falls to the ground on top of the child with a dull thud and blood starts to seep out onto to the road around her. The voices get closer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am walking down a long road, it is weed filled and paled with age, but it still is the quickest way to walk. I just have realized that I was humming a tune, "Mine eyes have seen the glory, of the coming of the lord." I look around and think to myself humoressly,
-this is the glory of the lord?, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....
I suddenly come upon a corpse in the road.
-hmmm, interesting, I wonder how he died, or is it a she, I can’t tell…..
--god, that is creepy, I think I am going to be sick, my god how disgusting, how sad…how
-hunh… it doesn’t look that old, must have been killed a few days ago…
--who could do such a thing. I mean, that’s inhuman, that’s…that’s…disgusting, my god.
I want to throw up and at the same time stay and examine the corpse.
thats the end of the draft for now, please give suggestions and opinions of it.
