As I Walk These Broken Roads: Part 2

[Atomic Cowboy]

Here it is: As I Walk These Broken Roads - Part II, comprising chapters 7 through 9.

If you havn't read the first part, it can be found here. It is the story of a soldier and a mechanic wandering through the wastelands of southern Ontario after the bomb, trying to live through the horrors of a society fallen apart.

I am hoping to get this published as a proper novel at some point in the next year, so any feedback you give me not only helps me improve my writing (since you guys will be more honest than my friends), but it will also come in handy in showing the publishing industry that they should publish it in the first place.

Overall the responses have been pretty good so far, and I'm glad to hear that people enjoyed the first part. I hope you all like the second part as well.

Cheers!

 

[monsharen]

nice read, again!

warning.. possible spoilers

second part felt a bit slower than the first but it was nice to read something else than just slaugther this and that. the ladies talking to r felt a bit necessary, otherwise this whole story could have turned a bit "brokeback" (maybe he's intentionally gay? He lived in a vault with a lot of army guys after all), its the way they speak to each other I guess. Both are shy and giving each other compliments. Maybe W feels a bit soft when he's apologizing for the intelligence thing in the way he does.

Maybe R is talked into the second mission a little too easy. I mean, he doesn't feel like the natural born killer that wants to take on 30 men just like that. W even almost got killed in the first hunt (by the headshot that "missed"), that should have scarred him a little.

anyway, looking forward for more chapters to dig into. keep up the good work

 

[vasilimst]

Awesome stuff! Can't wait for the continuation. I caught a couple of spelling errors if though. 1st chapter you wrote that Raxx was spoting an goatee instead of sporting. You also keep writting civilisation instead of civilization.

I noticed that you refer to cattle as cattle and then changed one time to brahmin?? Also you called Vince, Vic one time... Makes it hard to understand if this is a spin off from Fallout or just a new story altogether...

Thought I'd put in my 2 cents since your looking for constructive critisism... Good work though, really really can't wait for the continuation!