[PCE]el_Prez
Vault Fossil
The Rules
Print out this page (or open it up in a separate browser window) and pile up tons of booze near your computer. Or, if you have a laptop, sit in the kitchen near the fridge. Be careful not to spill, and get ready to surf.
Take One Drink:
For every pop-up window you have to close after “accidentally” going to a porn site.
Every time you’re asked to log in or register for a site.
If a site is part of a “ring” (e.g., The Sarah Michelle Gellar Web Ring).
If a site offers both “Flash” and “Non-Flash” versions. (Take an extra drink if they give them both fancy names, like “Leaded” or “Unleaded.”)
When you see a Maxim Online banner.
If you start receiving spam e-mails within minutes of “accidentally” checking out a porn site.
When a site offers a Flash-animated game. (Do a shot if it actually holds your interest for more than 30 seconds.)
If a site offers a “Gift Guide” of any kind.
If the site offers “witty” film reviews.
If it looks like the site hasn’t been updated for upwards of six years.
When you go to Stuff magazine’s site. (No need to drink, actually, you’re obviously too drunk already.)
When you find “dancing” anything (hamsters, George W.s, Jesuses, evil hamsters…).
For every time you type in a URL at register.com and find a domain name you want that has already been claimed. (Do an extra drink if it’s not.)
Take Two Drinks:
When you find a Simpsons site closed down by FOX.
When you see that annoying “Punch the Monkey and Win $20” banner. (Take two extra drinks if you’re stupid enough to try it.)
When you find a site dedicated to a really obscure sci-fi character (e.g., “All About Stormtrooper TK-421”).
Every time you have to restart.
If the site won some sort of obscure award (e.g., “Best Site Dedicated to Xena—First Season Only”).
If the site is somehow affiliated with Yahoo!
If you find a site dedicated to some outlandish conspiracy theory.
If the site offers a “free” trial offer and still somehow manages to cost $39.99.
Do a Shot:
If you find a convincing “fake nude” of Estelle Getty.
If the site is a bizarre hybrid of topics, like Star Trek, celebrity nudes, and pancakes.
Should you stumble on a domain name that’s for sale. (Do an extra shot if it’s one you might use, like slampigs.com.)
If you find a site that offers an e-mail service (so you can finally have the address yourname@obsessivenerd.com).
Drink the entire time…
It takes for your 14.4 modem to download a 30-second video clip. (Just kidding, moron. You’d be dead. Just buy a computer powered by something other than a hamster on a wheel.)
Game’s Over
When your girlfriend catches you “accidentally” drooling over farmteens.com and dumps your sorry ass.
Print out this page (or open it up in a separate browser window) and pile up tons of booze near your computer. Or, if you have a laptop, sit in the kitchen near the fridge. Be careful not to spill, and get ready to surf.
Take One Drink:
For every pop-up window you have to close after “accidentally” going to a porn site.
Every time you’re asked to log in or register for a site.
If a site is part of a “ring” (e.g., The Sarah Michelle Gellar Web Ring).
If a site offers both “Flash” and “Non-Flash” versions. (Take an extra drink if they give them both fancy names, like “Leaded” or “Unleaded.”)
When you see a Maxim Online banner.
If you start receiving spam e-mails within minutes of “accidentally” checking out a porn site.
When a site offers a Flash-animated game. (Do a shot if it actually holds your interest for more than 30 seconds.)
If a site offers a “Gift Guide” of any kind.
If the site offers “witty” film reviews.
If it looks like the site hasn’t been updated for upwards of six years.
When you go to Stuff magazine’s site. (No need to drink, actually, you’re obviously too drunk already.)
When you find “dancing” anything (hamsters, George W.s, Jesuses, evil hamsters…).
For every time you type in a URL at register.com and find a domain name you want that has already been claimed. (Do an extra drink if it’s not.)
Take Two Drinks:
When you find a Simpsons site closed down by FOX.
When you see that annoying “Punch the Monkey and Win $20” banner. (Take two extra drinks if you’re stupid enough to try it.)
When you find a site dedicated to a really obscure sci-fi character (e.g., “All About Stormtrooper TK-421”).
Every time you have to restart.
If the site won some sort of obscure award (e.g., “Best Site Dedicated to Xena—First Season Only”).
If the site is somehow affiliated with Yahoo!
If you find a site dedicated to some outlandish conspiracy theory.
If the site offers a “free” trial offer and still somehow manages to cost $39.99.
Do a Shot:
If you find a convincing “fake nude” of Estelle Getty.
If the site is a bizarre hybrid of topics, like Star Trek, celebrity nudes, and pancakes.
Should you stumble on a domain name that’s for sale. (Do an extra shot if it’s one you might use, like slampigs.com.)
If you find a site that offers an e-mail service (so you can finally have the address yourname@obsessivenerd.com).
Drink the entire time…
It takes for your 14.4 modem to download a 30-second video clip. (Just kidding, moron. You’d be dead. Just buy a computer powered by something other than a hamster on a wheel.)
Game’s Over
When your girlfriend catches you “accidentally” drooling over farmteens.com and dumps your sorry ass.
