Xavierblazer
Vault Senior Citizen
Yay!!!
What should we do to celebrate???
War...War never changes.
But it can take a pause while we eat some cake!!!
Brad Garrett is 48 today!!! Yay Harry!!!!
Edit 2:::
100 ways Ron Perlman is scarier in person:::
What should we do to celebrate???
War...War never changes.
But it can take a pause while we eat some cake!!!
Brad Garrett is 48 today!!! Yay Harry!!!!
Edit 2:::
100 ways Ron Perlman is scarier in person:::
1. Ron Perlman was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
2. Ron Perlman doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Ron Perlman.
3. Ron Perlman does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because whime ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction
4. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Ron Perlman says its beef, then it's beef.
5. Ron Perlman sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with him eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
6. Ron Perlman invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
7. Ron Perlman does not sleep. he waits.
8. Ron Perlman does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Ron Perlman goes killing.
9. Whenever Ron Perlman plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
10. Ron Perlman is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.
11. Ron Perlman and Superman once fought each othim on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
12. Ron Perlman can speak braille.
13. Giraffes were created when Ron Perlman uppercutted a horse.
14. Ron Perlman can delete the Recycling Bin.
15. Ron Perlman's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Ron Perlman.
16. When Ron Perlman deletes files from him computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. he sends them to hell.
17. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Ron Perlman.
18. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Ron Perlman, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
19. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Ron Perlman ate Kobayashi.
20. Ron Perlman beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
21. Ron Perlman once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
22. Ron Perlman sleeps with a night light. Not because Ron Perlman is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Ron Perlman
23. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Ron Perlman laughing at you.
24. Ron Perlman died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
25. Ron Perlman counted to infinity - twice.
26. On a high school math test, Ron Perlman put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. he got an A+ on the test because Ron Perlman solves all him problems with Violence.
27. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Ron Perlman punched himself in the face.
28. Ron Perlman can kill two stones with one bird.
29. Ron Perlman owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
30. If Ron Perlman wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.
31. Ron Perlman can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
32. Ron Perlman has beat the crap out of so many people over him brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
33. The last man who made eye contact with Ron Perlman was Ray Charles.
34. Ron Perlman invented the hammer when he was tired of using him forehead to slam nails into wood.
35. Ron Perlman can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.
36. You are what you eat. That is why Ron Perlman's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
37. Ron Perlman became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.
38. Ron Perlman was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
39. On him birthday, Ron Perlman randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
40. Ron Perlman can predict the shuffle on him iPod.
41. Ron Perlman wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the othim team.
42. When Ron Perlman plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
43. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Ron Perlman and forgot to pay him back.
44. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Ron Perlman can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.
45. Getting murdered by Ron Perlman counts as a natural cause of death.
46. Ron Perlman puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
47. When Ron Perlman goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
48. Circles exist because Ron Perlman beat the crap out of some squares.
49. Ron Perlman once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
50. Weeping Willows are a result of Ron Perlman yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
51. Ron Perlman irons him shirts while he's wearing them.
52. Ron Perlman destroyed the periodic table, saying Ron Perlman only recognizes the element of surprise.
53. there are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Ron Perlman is going to walk.
54. Onions do not make Ron Perlman cry. Ron Perlman makes onions crap themselves.
55. Ron Perlman once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however Ron Perlman still pleads him innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.
56. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Ron Perlman has found too chewy to eat.
57. Once a cobra bit Ron Perlman's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
58. Ron Perlman can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
59. Ron Perlman has the heart of a child. he keeps it in a small box.
60. Ron Perlman used to beat the crap out of him shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
61. Ron Perlman doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
62. Ron Perlman doesn't play "hide-and-seek." he plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
63. Ron Perlman once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Ron Perlman was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
64. The grass is always greener on the othim side, unless Ron Perlman has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
65. Superman owns a pair of Ron Perlman pajamas.
66. Ron Perlman can tie him shoes with him feet.
67. Ron Perlman can make a paraplegic run for him life.
68. Ron Perlman can slam revolving doors.
69. Ron Perlman was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
70. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Ron Perlman and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
71. Crop circles are Ron Perlman's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
72. The word "gay" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "He who has not yet been introduced to Ron Perlman."
73. Ron Perlman always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
74. Ron Perlman is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
75. When Ron Perlman gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
76. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Ron Perlman could use to kill you, including the room itself.
77. Ron Perlman's blood type is WD-40.
78. Ron Perlman is the only one who can "try this at home."
79. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Ron Perlman's house one Christmas.
80. Ron Perlman is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
81. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Ron Perlman's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
82. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Ron Perlman.
83. Ron Perlman is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for him left and right legs.
84. Ron Perlman doesn't read books. he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
85. When Ron Perlman gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
86. The only time Ron Perlman was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
87. Ron Perlman's family wraps him holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.
88. Ron Perlman played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
89. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Ron Perlman was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
90. Only once has Ron Perlman ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
91. Ron Perlman is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
92. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bothim, Ron Perlman wins.
93. Ron Perlman can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
94. there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Ron Perlman allows to live.
95. When Ron Perlman enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
96. Ron Perlman does not know whime you live, but he knows whime you will die.
97. Ron Perlman was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
98. Ron Perlman' dog is trained to pick up him own poop because Ron Perlman will not take crap from anyone.
99. Ron Perlman knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
100. Ron Perlman had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhime Ron Perlman went the lamb was sure to go. So he killed it.
