G
Guest
Guest
[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Feb-12-01 AT 07:32AM (GMT)[p]Hm...it looks like people are getting a wrong impression about me. Oh, well...now HERE is a REAL SUPREMUS CRAPPUS FANFICTUS that I made...
Just so people won't expect me to abide to my Mass Production Trait.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever wonder just where all the really weird people went? Come in..to the place ...Where Normal Things Don't Happen....Very Often....
A spoof sidestory to the Fallout zone.
Vault 19
Written, directed and imploded by B-pen
(%theme song)
This is the Vault!
A place of endless joy...(joy!joy!joy!)
This is the Vault!
A slice of paradise, that is it...
This is the Vault!
It's so incredibly boring....(boring!)
This is the Vault!
Let's go break ...a water chip....(break a chip, break a chip, break a head)!
(The camera zooms through a murky cloud cover and into a mountain. It drills down , and comes out into a great underground / undermountain? hallway...It is packed with people.)
Ben: What the hell...? (dusts rock and soil fragments off his brand-spanking new Vault suit. He looks up and sees the camera.)
Ben: This...is my life. (waves around.) There will come a time when I won't be able to remeber what it used to be like. And frankly, I don't care.
Male Voice: Please keep calm. The yellow zone is for immidate entry and unloading only. There is no stopping in the yellow area. Keep moving. Do not stay in the red area.
Female Voice: Please keep calm. The red zone is fore immidiate disembarkment and entry only. There is no stopping in the red area. Do not enter the yellow zone.
Male Voice: What? The yellow zone is for immidiate entry and unloading only. Keep in the yellow area, people. Don't enter the red zone.
Female Voice: No way! The red area is for disembarkment and entry. This is where your supposed to line up in! Stay away from the yellow zone..it's where they process the heavy machinery...
Male Voice: What the hell are you talking about, Mirriam? The yellow zone is the one that's for entry.
Female Voice: And the fact that it leads to a door that's named "Garbage Disposal" means nothing? Stay in the red zone!
Male Voice: Don't you tell me which zone goes where...
Female Voice: Don't pull your yellow zone crap again, Bob. It gets annoying.
Man in purple robe: Hello. Would you like to make a contribution to the Children of the Light?
Male/Female Voice: How the hell did you get in here?
(The camera turns from the scene of a muddled crowd, moving between red and yellow zones at random, and into the entryway to the Vault. There is a Metal Detector there, and all people are gave the customary shakedown.)
Guard: Please remove all things mettallic that you have.
Man: (Removes his Power Armor. Buries the Guard in a small hill of weapons, armaments, ammo, and quite few tac nukes.)
Female Voice: I think we all know what your yellow fetish is. It's a manifestation of your fear of commitment.
Male voice: I just can't live with such an extreme nymphomaniac no more...
Man in purple robe: Hello..would you like to make a contribution to the*hurk*
Man: (punches the guy in the purple robes)
Man: (looks to the camera) I know, it seems harsh, but if you knew what I've been through, you'd understand.
(A woman goes past the gate. She is wearing a reddish fur coat over her Vault suit. Ben goes up to her.)
Ben: I didn't think I'd see you here.
Linda: Oh, no...
Ben: What? Am I really that horrid?
Linda: I can't go over all of it again....
Ben: Look...this is a new place...let's start over. Pretend that we just met. I can make it work.
Linda: I'm sorry Ben...but I can't live with someone who can't hold my respect. Or rather, have something that _stands_ that I can respect. (moves away)
Ben: Crock.
Man in Vault suit: Hey, where should I take this GECK thingie?
Ben: Over there..(Gestures with a flare. A foklift follows his directions and goes plowing into a wall.)
(The camera goes into the Vault, and into the Medical Area. Inside the Operating Room, a man in a white lab coat, presumably a doctor, is talking to a phone.)
Doctor: Yep.
Doctor: Sure.
Doctor: Yep.
Doctor: Yep..
Doctor: What the hell...
Doctor: This is Denton....who do you think you've been talking to the last hour or two.....?! Shit. EURY!! I GOT GORDON ON THE LINE FOR YA!!!
Eury: (Comes in. He is a doctor too, BTW...) Hi, Alll.....<damn.>
--
Sign: ((Yes! It's your very own.... *call from AL*! AND YOU'RE *STUCK*!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!))
--
Al: How are things over at 19?
Eury: It's going fine, boss. We're loading up the rest of the cannon fodder now..
Al: Good. What are the current patterns? Anything going wrong yet?
Eury: (looks out his window. A workman is seen falling down the empty elevator shaft. A forklift is rampaging sround, causing the people to move it like so much cattle.)
Man in elevator: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!*splat*
Eury: Nope. No sir. Nothing's wrong here.
Al: That's fuckin' great. It's bloody messy here at 15...(begins to rant.)
Eury: (his eyes glaze over)
(The camera leaves a half-comatose Eury and goes through time and space into the third floor, and the main control panels.)
Lady: Nervous?
Ben: Yup.
Lady: Is this your first time?
Ben: No, I've had lots of experience. I lost my virginity a long time ago.
Lady: I meant being in charge of a system that will regulate all existence in the VAult.
Ben: Oh.......Yep to that...
Man in purple Vault Suit: Ey' he's gotta be a wonker honky, he be messin' with ma old lady an he gonna be upsid down de hed.
Subtitle: THAT WHITE GUY SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN OR I WILL KICK HIM.
Man in pink Vault Suit: Heelo down, man. Ain't nobody gonna lay no rap on you.
Subtitile: HE IS STUPID,INDEED.
Man in purple Vault Suit: Iya pray to J that I get the same ol' same ol'
Subtitle: I KNEW ANOTHER MAN LIKE THAT, AND HE ENDED UP BEING SORRY.
Man in pink Vault Suit: Got down a knock pro slick. Gray matter be going ABCF in us now, man.
Subtitle: DON'T BE HASTY, VICTOR. WE EACH FACE A CLEAR MORAL CHOICE.
Man in purple Vault Suit: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY,
WEALTHY AND WISE.
Together: Col' got to be! Yo!
Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
Overseer: Shut up. (turns to Ben.) How long before we can put all systems on line?
Ben: In just a few minutes, sir.
Overseer: Good. Open me a line to Vault-Tec main.
Lady: Done.
Overseer: This is V19...can you hear me Control?
Vault-Tec guy: Oh, hell...who made him Overseer?
Vault-Tec supervisor: Just play along, Roj. He got trauma from the war. But he's a good man.
Vault-Tec guy: If you say so, sir. This is Vault-Tec. We read you, over.
Overseer: Coming in fine, over.
Vault-Tec: 2-0-one- 9er, you're cleared for activation.
Overseer : Roger!
Ben : Huh?
Vault-Tec : L.A. departure frequency 1-2-3 point 9er.
Overseer : Roger!
Ben : Huh?
Vault-Tec : Re-quest Vector, over!
Overseer : What?
Vault-Tec : 2-0-one-9er clear for vector 2-3-4.
Ben : We have clearance Clarence.
Overseer : Roger, Roger. What's our Vector, Victor?
Vault-Tec : Vault-Tec's radio clearance, over!
Overseer : That's Clarence Oever! Oever. Over.
Vault-Tec : Rojer.
Ben : Huh?
Vault-Tec : Roger, Oever. Rodjer. Over.
Ben : Huh?
Overseer : Huh?
Lady: DO you feel alright sir?
Overseer : Oh, I haven't flown for a long time.
Lady: Huh?
Ben: Argh.
(The camera leaves this scene now and goes down into the second floor, the living quarters. Most of the people are in their rooms, but watching the image of the Vault-Tec doorhatch on their monitors.
The man from earlier is here, too. He has on a two-sleeved leather jacket)
Man: Christmas. It's such a big piss....they oughta stop doing that here.
Ted: Why are you so bitter?
Man: Loneliness, that's the bottom line. I was never happy as a child.. Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? It was living hell. Do you know what its like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head.... With a cast ceramic steeloid boot?!! Of course you don't, no one does, that never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question.
Ted: You need to relax. I guess it's been hard out there in the Corps. But you don't need to worry about that now. We're in a Vault. Nothing can touch us now..
Man: Wrong.
Ted: Huh?
Man: Tell me , Ted....what if you were going to die tomorrow..what would you do today?
Ted: It depends. What are you dying of?
(A kid walks in, goes over to Ted, and pulls on the hem of his pants. He points to the man.)
Kid: Why is he dressed so funny?
Man: (Ignores the kid. He walks into the Cantina, and bumps into someone in his way in. He looks at it. They could easily be twins, hell, their faces were exactly alike..the only difference was that this newcomer wore a suit of white and blue robes,etched with BoS markings.)
Man: Two.
Guy: Three.
Man: (Nods polite at the guy, who bows back. He enters the Cantina, as if nothing particularly noteworthy has happened.)
Guy: (walks into a closet and disappears in a flash of blue light.)
Man: (goes up to the bar) Scotch.
Bartender: (hands him a glass.)
(A pretty woman walks in. It is Linda. She sits next to him, it being the only empty seat in the house.)
Man: Hey, Linda.
Linda: (turns to him) Excuse me?
Man: If you had only one day to live, what would you do with it?
Linda: Do I know you?
Man: We've met. Briefly. I don't even remember when, but I somehow remembered you.
Linda: That's very flattering..but..
Man: What would you do on your last day on Earth?
Linda: That's a very personal question.
Man: Intensely personal.
Linda: What are you looking for..a date for the weekend?
Man: Just think about it, Linda. If the world were to end tomorrow, you could do anything you wanted, without care of consequences. There would be nobody left to tell you what was right or wrong, nothing to answer to, nothing to fear. You would have absolute freedom to do whatever you have ever dreamed of doing, the freedom to fulfill your fantasies....and no, I'm not trying to pick you up. I'm honestly curious.
Linda: (looks thoughtful)
Man: (looks up into the screen, where it shows the Vault door was starting to roll shut.)
Bartender: Here it comes...
Man: (hears the tell-tale *slam-rrrihhh* of the massive Vault door closing and locking itself down. He takes a swig from the glass...) Goddamn MsW2K..
END.
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I am the God of Anticlimax!!! muhahahahahaha....
I made this seemingly senseless fic mostly to get a feel for writing in script form.. Feel free to ignore it or RIFF and dismember it, as you see fit.
I may make a sensible story out of the characters in it, though..someday..
BTW, thanks to all you people, most notably Yamu and briosafreak for encouraging this humble(gush!) scribe..! I'm going to do better stories from here on. Hey, any ideas for who I should pair up in a sickly-sweet, WAFFY fic?
http://uro.topcities.com/asda2.gif
~cause anything less than total and utter overkill is a total waste of time~
-it's the freakin' bluepencil!
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Just so people won't expect me to abide to my Mass Production Trait.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever wonder just where all the really weird people went? Come in..to the place ...Where Normal Things Don't Happen....Very Often....
A spoof sidestory to the Fallout zone.
Vault 19
Written, directed and imploded by B-pen
(%theme song)
This is the Vault!
A place of endless joy...(joy!joy!joy!)
This is the Vault!
A slice of paradise, that is it...
This is the Vault!
It's so incredibly boring....(boring!)
This is the Vault!
Let's go break ...a water chip....(break a chip, break a chip, break a head)!
(The camera zooms through a murky cloud cover and into a mountain. It drills down , and comes out into a great underground / undermountain? hallway...It is packed with people.)
Ben: What the hell...? (dusts rock and soil fragments off his brand-spanking new Vault suit. He looks up and sees the camera.)
Ben: This...is my life. (waves around.) There will come a time when I won't be able to remeber what it used to be like. And frankly, I don't care.
Male Voice: Please keep calm. The yellow zone is for immidate entry and unloading only. There is no stopping in the yellow area. Keep moving. Do not stay in the red area.
Female Voice: Please keep calm. The red zone is fore immidiate disembarkment and entry only. There is no stopping in the red area. Do not enter the yellow zone.
Male Voice: What? The yellow zone is for immidiate entry and unloading only. Keep in the yellow area, people. Don't enter the red zone.
Female Voice: No way! The red area is for disembarkment and entry. This is where your supposed to line up in! Stay away from the yellow zone..it's where they process the heavy machinery...
Male Voice: What the hell are you talking about, Mirriam? The yellow zone is the one that's for entry.
Female Voice: And the fact that it leads to a door that's named "Garbage Disposal" means nothing? Stay in the red zone!
Male Voice: Don't you tell me which zone goes where...
Female Voice: Don't pull your yellow zone crap again, Bob. It gets annoying.
Man in purple robe: Hello. Would you like to make a contribution to the Children of the Light?
Male/Female Voice: How the hell did you get in here?
(The camera turns from the scene of a muddled crowd, moving between red and yellow zones at random, and into the entryway to the Vault. There is a Metal Detector there, and all people are gave the customary shakedown.)
Guard: Please remove all things mettallic that you have.
Man: (Removes his Power Armor. Buries the Guard in a small hill of weapons, armaments, ammo, and quite few tac nukes.)
Female Voice: I think we all know what your yellow fetish is. It's a manifestation of your fear of commitment.
Male voice: I just can't live with such an extreme nymphomaniac no more...
Man in purple robe: Hello..would you like to make a contribution to the*hurk*
Man: (punches the guy in the purple robes)
Man: (looks to the camera) I know, it seems harsh, but if you knew what I've been through, you'd understand.
(A woman goes past the gate. She is wearing a reddish fur coat over her Vault suit. Ben goes up to her.)
Ben: I didn't think I'd see you here.
Linda: Oh, no...
Ben: What? Am I really that horrid?
Linda: I can't go over all of it again....
Ben: Look...this is a new place...let's start over. Pretend that we just met. I can make it work.
Linda: I'm sorry Ben...but I can't live with someone who can't hold my respect. Or rather, have something that _stands_ that I can respect. (moves away)
Ben: Crock.
Man in Vault suit: Hey, where should I take this GECK thingie?
Ben: Over there..(Gestures with a flare. A foklift follows his directions and goes plowing into a wall.)
(The camera goes into the Vault, and into the Medical Area. Inside the Operating Room, a man in a white lab coat, presumably a doctor, is talking to a phone.)
Doctor: Yep.
Doctor: Sure.
Doctor: Yep.
Doctor: Yep..
Doctor: What the hell...
Doctor: This is Denton....who do you think you've been talking to the last hour or two.....?! Shit. EURY!! I GOT GORDON ON THE LINE FOR YA!!!
Eury: (Comes in. He is a doctor too, BTW...) Hi, Alll.....<damn.>
--
Sign: ((Yes! It's your very own.... *call from AL*! AND YOU'RE *STUCK*!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!))
--
Al: How are things over at 19?
Eury: It's going fine, boss. We're loading up the rest of the cannon fodder now..
Al: Good. What are the current patterns? Anything going wrong yet?
Eury: (looks out his window. A workman is seen falling down the empty elevator shaft. A forklift is rampaging sround, causing the people to move it like so much cattle.)
Man in elevator: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!*splat*
Eury: Nope. No sir. Nothing's wrong here.
Al: That's fuckin' great. It's bloody messy here at 15...(begins to rant.)
Eury: (his eyes glaze over)
(The camera leaves a half-comatose Eury and goes through time and space into the third floor, and the main control panels.)
Lady: Nervous?
Ben: Yup.
Lady: Is this your first time?
Ben: No, I've had lots of experience. I lost my virginity a long time ago.
Lady: I meant being in charge of a system that will regulate all existence in the VAult.
Ben: Oh.......Yep to that...
Man in purple Vault Suit: Ey' he's gotta be a wonker honky, he be messin' with ma old lady an he gonna be upsid down de hed.
Subtitle: THAT WHITE GUY SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN OR I WILL KICK HIM.
Man in pink Vault Suit: Heelo down, man. Ain't nobody gonna lay no rap on you.
Subtitile: HE IS STUPID,INDEED.
Man in purple Vault Suit: Iya pray to J that I get the same ol' same ol'
Subtitle: I KNEW ANOTHER MAN LIKE THAT, AND HE ENDED UP BEING SORRY.
Man in pink Vault Suit: Got down a knock pro slick. Gray matter be going ABCF in us now, man.
Subtitle: DON'T BE HASTY, VICTOR. WE EACH FACE A CLEAR MORAL CHOICE.
Man in purple Vault Suit: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY,
WEALTHY AND WISE.
Together: Col' got to be! Yo!
Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
Overseer: Shut up. (turns to Ben.) How long before we can put all systems on line?
Ben: In just a few minutes, sir.
Overseer: Good. Open me a line to Vault-Tec main.
Lady: Done.
Overseer: This is V19...can you hear me Control?
Vault-Tec guy: Oh, hell...who made him Overseer?
Vault-Tec supervisor: Just play along, Roj. He got trauma from the war. But he's a good man.
Vault-Tec guy: If you say so, sir. This is Vault-Tec. We read you, over.
Overseer: Coming in fine, over.
Vault-Tec: 2-0-one- 9er, you're cleared for activation.
Overseer : Roger!
Ben : Huh?
Vault-Tec : L.A. departure frequency 1-2-3 point 9er.
Overseer : Roger!
Ben : Huh?
Vault-Tec : Re-quest Vector, over!
Overseer : What?
Vault-Tec : 2-0-one-9er clear for vector 2-3-4.
Ben : We have clearance Clarence.
Overseer : Roger, Roger. What's our Vector, Victor?
Vault-Tec : Vault-Tec's radio clearance, over!
Overseer : That's Clarence Oever! Oever. Over.
Vault-Tec : Rojer.
Ben : Huh?
Vault-Tec : Roger, Oever. Rodjer. Over.
Ben : Huh?
Overseer : Huh?
Lady: DO you feel alright sir?
Overseer : Oh, I haven't flown for a long time.
Lady: Huh?
Ben: Argh.
(The camera leaves this scene now and goes down into the second floor, the living quarters. Most of the people are in their rooms, but watching the image of the Vault-Tec doorhatch on their monitors.
The man from earlier is here, too. He has on a two-sleeved leather jacket)
Man: Christmas. It's such a big piss....they oughta stop doing that here.
Ted: Why are you so bitter?
Man: Loneliness, that's the bottom line. I was never happy as a child.. Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? It was living hell. Do you know what its like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head.... With a cast ceramic steeloid boot?!! Of course you don't, no one does, that never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question.
Ted: You need to relax. I guess it's been hard out there in the Corps. But you don't need to worry about that now. We're in a Vault. Nothing can touch us now..
Man: Wrong.
Ted: Huh?
Man: Tell me , Ted....what if you were going to die tomorrow..what would you do today?
Ted: It depends. What are you dying of?
(A kid walks in, goes over to Ted, and pulls on the hem of his pants. He points to the man.)
Kid: Why is he dressed so funny?
Man: (Ignores the kid. He walks into the Cantina, and bumps into someone in his way in. He looks at it. They could easily be twins, hell, their faces were exactly alike..the only difference was that this newcomer wore a suit of white and blue robes,etched with BoS markings.)
Man: Two.
Guy: Three.
Man: (Nods polite at the guy, who bows back. He enters the Cantina, as if nothing particularly noteworthy has happened.)
Guy: (walks into a closet and disappears in a flash of blue light.)
Man: (goes up to the bar) Scotch.
Bartender: (hands him a glass.)
(A pretty woman walks in. It is Linda. She sits next to him, it being the only empty seat in the house.)
Man: Hey, Linda.
Linda: (turns to him) Excuse me?
Man: If you had only one day to live, what would you do with it?
Linda: Do I know you?
Man: We've met. Briefly. I don't even remember when, but I somehow remembered you.
Linda: That's very flattering..but..
Man: What would you do on your last day on Earth?
Linda: That's a very personal question.
Man: Intensely personal.
Linda: What are you looking for..a date for the weekend?
Man: Just think about it, Linda. If the world were to end tomorrow, you could do anything you wanted, without care of consequences. There would be nobody left to tell you what was right or wrong, nothing to answer to, nothing to fear. You would have absolute freedom to do whatever you have ever dreamed of doing, the freedom to fulfill your fantasies....and no, I'm not trying to pick you up. I'm honestly curious.
Linda: (looks thoughtful)
Man: (looks up into the screen, where it shows the Vault door was starting to roll shut.)
Bartender: Here it comes...
Man: (hears the tell-tale *slam-rrrihhh* of the massive Vault door closing and locking itself down. He takes a swig from the glass...) Goddamn MsW2K..
END.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I am the God of Anticlimax!!! muhahahahahaha....
I made this seemingly senseless fic mostly to get a feel for writing in script form.. Feel free to ignore it or RIFF and dismember it, as you see fit.
I may make a sensible story out of the characters in it, though..someday..
BTW, thanks to all you people, most notably Yamu and briosafreak for encouraging this humble(gush!) scribe..! I'm going to do better stories from here on. Hey, any ideas for who I should pair up in a sickly-sweet, WAFFY fic?
http://uro.topcities.com/asda2.gif
~cause anything less than total and utter overkill is a total waste of time~
-it's the freakin' bluepencil!
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
