If Microsoft made cars...

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[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Jun-27-02 AT 11:03AM (GMT)[p]1. The seats would recquire everyone to have the same size of ass.

2. Everyone would have to use MS Gas.

3. One would have to rebuild every road for the Microsoft-cars. However, they (the cars) could still use the old roads - really, really slow.

4. Oil- temperature- engine- and fuel warning lights would all be replaced with one "General Engine Error" light.

5. Sun Motorsystem would develop a car that was sun-powered, twice as safe and five times faster, but it could only use 5% of all roads.

6. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.

7. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought Car98 or CarNT - but then you would also have to buy ten new seats and a new engine.

8. Every then and now, your car would -for no apparent reason- suddenly die, after which you would have to re-start it. Oddly enough, you would accept this as a completely normal phenomenon.

9. Every time the white lines on the roads were repainted, you would have to buy a new car.

10. People would be so thrilled with the latest new features of MS Car that they would forget that the exact same functions have been available from other manufacturers for years.

http://home.swipnet.se/~w-30269/midis/MEGAMAN.GIF
 
Err... saw that one, too many times now. Funny the first time, but still remember it, so it is not quite as humorous later.

Besides, I remember this old e-mail joke archive. If I could dig it up (or a site similar, sure it wouldn't be hard), lots of material to chuckle over.

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"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard
 
Actually, I got it from the swedish website skrattnet.com, and translated it as well as I could. There are a couple more of these, about airlines and "how did the chicken cross the road" and stuff like that. Yes.

Any-who, I very much enjoy this type of humor. Yes. Nice similes (or is that metaphors?). Makes one think, ey?


http://home.swipnet.se/~w-30269/midis/MEGAMAN.GIF
 
[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Jun-29-02 AT 01:08AM (GMT)[p]Well, good job at translating it then. One Science Fiction contest I really enjoyed was the re-translation of titles, back to English from French...

He Has a Hole in His Head and His Teeth Glow in the Dark -Roger Zelazny
R is for Spaceship -Ray Bradbury
The Tin Men Go to Sleep -Isaac Asimov
All Animals Are Vegetables -Clifford Simak
Mr. Robot, That's Me -Isaac Asimov
Shove Over! Shove Over! -Harry Harrison

Classic way to slaughter English, translate it to French and back.

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"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard
 
>Classic way to slaughter English, translate
>it to French and back.

But *nothing* compares to what happens when you translate to Japanese and back:

Convert this phrase into Japanese on Babelfish:

"Only a few more shots left!"

And then convert it back to Eng(l/r)ish, and we get this:

"The only small-numbered many shock!"

Back into Japanese, and then into Engrish:

"The only marked number to many impacts small!"

And again...

"It is small, the quantity of only to many influences mark equipped!"

And once more (now it is a question)...

"That is equipped, it is not small to the sign of many influences, the
quantitative present?"

Do it again...

"That, sign of that many influence, is not small into the quantitative present
time, it is equipped?"

Again...

"Sign influence that the many, quantitative present time namely it is not small
to that, but it is equipped, it isn't?"

Let's do it again...

"Influence large number of sign, quantitative present time namely is not small
to that that, it is equipped, but, it isn't that?"

And finally,

"A quantity whose influence of sign is large namely is not small to the number
of quantitative present times that is equipped, but, that it isn't?"

Okay... one last one...

"The quantity influence of sign is large namely it is not small to the number
of quantitative present times, it is equipped, it isn't that?"

-Xotor-

[div align=center]

[table width=200" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0][tr bgcolor=#000000] [td style=font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 8px]  [/td][td align=left" valign="middle" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: bold; color: #FF0000; text-decoration: none]PAS:[/td][td align=left" valign="top" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; color: #FF0000]  [/td][td align=left" valign="middle" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; color: #FF0000]People Against Stupidity[/td][/tr][tr bgcolor=#000000" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 8px][td] [/td][td align=left" valign="top" colspan="3] [/td][/tr][tr bgcolor=#000000" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; color: #FFFFFF] [td] [/td][td align=left" valign="top" colspan="3]"Ignorance is excusable. Stupidity is not."[/td][/tr][/table][/div]
 
Guess what this was originally?

"Our your foundations to the fact that it possesses the fact that it belongs completely."
 
>Guess what this was originally?
>
>"Our your foundations to the fact
>that it possesses the fact
>that it belongs completely."

I can't even fathom what that used to be...

-Xotor-

[div align=center]

[table width=200" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0][tr bgcolor=#000000] [td style=font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 8px]  [/td][td align=left" valign="middle" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: bold; color: #FF0000; text-decoration: none]PAS:[/td][td align=left" valign="top" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; color: #FF0000]  [/td][td align=left" valign="middle" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; color: #FF0000]People Against Stupidity[/td][/tr][tr bgcolor=#000000" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 8px][td] [/td][td align=left" valign="top" colspan="3] [/td][/tr][tr bgcolor=#000000" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; color: #FFFFFF] [td] [/td][td align=left" valign="top" colspan="3]"Ignorance is excusable. Stupidity is not."[/td][/tr][/table][/div]
 
"All your base are belong to us."

Is that it?

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"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard
 
Didn't take that long, but yes.

I was wondering if it could take a shitty Japanese translation and (on a slim chance) make some sense of it.

:)
 
Here is a challenge for your translator (might cause a headache or two)...
A Japanese Song

Pappara funi funi tamago
Yaitara kagechatta

Pappara funi funi o imo.
Yedetara togechatta

Tottemo tottemo kuuruna anata ni
An an sukari muchuu
Uttori nettori haato go dokiri
Choppiri misechau wa
Tenki ga ii kara doka e ikitai
Yan yan onegai kiite
Uhhan tokubetsu gouka na ranchi wo

Tomato wa dame
Watashi no mono
Tako wa ageru
Mitame ga kirai

Pappara funi funi tamago
Yuden akaya nama tamago

Pappara funi funi biiru
Yuden akaya nama biiru

Nandaka choppiri sono ki ni nateru
An an anatano hitomi
Utturi shittori muudo mo pitari
Suri suri shichao ka na
Nan nimo shirinai ubu-nashuuju ni
Yan yan iwasecha yaa yo
Uhhun saigo no koroshi monku
Wa yapari anata karan rararan

Raochuu kanpea
Sotsugyou banzai
Shitton battou
Nana shou hachi hai
Jakuniku kyoushoku
Yakiniku teishoku [An]
Tamago wa dame
Watashi no mono
Yan tamago tamago.

Just to make things easier, I cut out the random words (which are meaningless). "Pappara funi-funi" and "rararan" don't mean anything either...

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"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard
 
>Here is a challenge for your
>translator (might cause a headache
>or two)...
>A Japanese Song

It's hard enough to back-translate Engrish, let alone romanized Japanese. *Translators* have problems with romanized Japanese...

-Xotor-

[div align=center]

[table width=200" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0][tr bgcolor=#000000] [td style=font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 8px]  [/td][td align=left" valign="middle" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: bold; color: #FF0000; text-decoration: none]PAS:[/td][td align=left" valign="top" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; color: #FF0000]  [/td][td align=left" valign="middle" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; color: #FF0000]People Against Stupidity[/td][/tr][tr bgcolor=#000000" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 8px][td] [/td][td align=left" valign="top" colspan="3] [/td][/tr][tr bgcolor=#000000" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; color: #FFFFFF] [td] [/td][td align=left" valign="top" colspan="3]"Ignorance is excusable. Stupidity is not."[/td][/tr][/table][/div]
 
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