Morons' Gaming Dictionary

Ratty Sr.

Ratty Sr.

Ratty, except old
Moderator
Orderite
I have recently come to conclusion that 99,99% of Croatian gamers are uneducated fuckwits whose very existence defiles all things I value in gaming. In an attempt to acquire more factual data about their primitive, inbred culture, I compiled this dictionary of words and terms they typically use in their backward variant of human language. Mind you, it hasn't been an easy endeavor, as these dipshits resort to spoken language only when retarded snorts and unmannerly gestures are no longer adequate means of expressing their urges and desires (usually revolving around telling their team-mates to suck their grandmother's cunt during particularly heated moments of Counterstrike deathmatch - which is their peculiar version of a ritual pissing contest).

Without further ado, I present the Morons' Gaming Dictionary:

TERM - MEANING
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cool - FPS
boring - not FPS
stupid - RPG
crappy - not using Vertex Shader 3.0
old - made before 2003
fun - ridiculously simplistic and unchallenging
hard/complex - requiring more than three fingers and two neurons to play
open-ended - incoherent, inconsistent and abysmally boring
funny - featuring utterly idiotic and unfunny jokes
intelligent - featuring secondary mode of fire
RPG - OMG l337 1t4mz!!1
well-made characters - OMG b00bies!!1
intriguing story - main character suffers amnesia
strategy - C&C: Generals
turn-based - Baldur's Gate
brilliant - mediocre
innovative - regurgitated a million times
revolutionary - using a poorly implemented concept or feature that was ripped off of a much older and better game
best game evar!!1 - Quake 3
loser - non-FPS player
fag - RPG player
 
I'm Croatian and I disagree strongly.
Your self loathing generalization only goes to show that you haven't actually met anyone except the kind of people you describe, therefore you are one of them.
 
DirtyDreamDesigner said:
I'm Croatian and I disagree strongly.
Your self loathing generalization only goes to show that you haven't actually met anyone except the kind of people you describe, therefore you are one of them.
Click to expand...
Actually, I tend to hang out with people who fall in the 0.01% group. Unfortunately, for the past ten years I have also had the displeasure of reading Croatian gaming press and gaming e-zines, which all indicate one thing - that gaming taste of an average Croatian gamer is rivaled by that of a brick. I would surmise that similar applies to gamers of most nations, but as I have firsthand experience with my own nation's gaming illiteracy, I have used it as a basis for my conclusions and conjectures.
 
Dude. That sucks.

At least in the U.S. there's still the harcore gamer, who thinks a good RPG is a great way to spend the summer. Getting overrun by the X_Brickers, but not too fast.
 
There are hardcore gamers here, too. Me, for instance. And our friend DDD too, I presume. But truly refined gamers get about as much attention here as Kelly Brook in a room full of gay people. And the handful of game magazines we have here spout such uneducated bullshit that I can't read them without a vomit bag.
 
Bah, a couple of years ago I used to spend my days in I-Cafes so I got to know the views of "teh gamerz" around here and I must say they're not very different from what Ratty said. Really, I don't think this is an isolated case for Croatia.
Heck, it is well known that 5% of the gamer population masturbates to head-shots in Counter Strike.


I'd add another term to the dictionary:

totally cool - graphics that melt down any video card below GeForce 3

Edit: As for gaming magazines, we have three, of which one sucks to an unbelieveable level being a mix of their own aberrations and reviews copied from the web.
The other two are acceptable, altough they do praise crap games very often.
 
I hate to say it, but it seems Ratty's list also describes about 95% of the gamers in the US also, and that brain dead group is growing, unfortunately.



Thorgrimm
 
That`s more the state of the gaming world than anything else, Ratty, it`s not just Croatia. And my kid would kick your ass on Runescape, Forgotten :) , he used to play it a lot, but he is growing up, fortunately...
 
It's like that everywhere.
Why do you think POS got made?
It's not just Croatia.
So please, don't crap on Croatia any more,
Besides, whoever reads Croatian game magazines? I stopped when they started writing about Fucking Pokemon.
 
pretty funny list ratty. I liked these:

intelligent - featuring secondary mode of fire
intriguing story - main character suffers amnesia


Dove said:
Dude. That sucks.

At least in the U.S. there's still the harcore gamer, who thinks a good RPG is a great way to spend the summer. Getting overrun by the X_Brickers, but not too fast.
Click to expand...

To me it's seems as though consoles are taking over in the US. A few of my friends call themselves oldschool gamers - but they never played games for PC - their referring to consoles like NES,SNES, and sega. Im the only one without a Xbox, PS2, or Gamecube but one of these days im afraid im gonna break down and confrom to this new way of gaming.
 
DirtyDreamDesigner said:
It's like that everywhere.
Why do you think POS got made?
It's not just Croatia.
So please, don't crap on Croatia any more,
Click to expand...
You're correct, but as I have had the misfortune to observe the development of our gaming scene for the past ten years, it is reasonable to base my observations regarding the poor state of gaming on the only scene I am truly familiar with - the Croatian scene. So when I say "Croatian gamers generally suck", I really mean "Gamers of all countries generally suck, but as I only know firsthand that gamers of my own country suck, I will only state that Croatian gamers suck." It is not only a reasonable approach, but also a tactful one. :wink:
 
[PCE said:
el_Prez]pretty funny list ratty. I liked these:

intelligent - featuring secondary mode of fire
intriguing story - main character suffers amnesia


To me it's seems as though consoles are taking over in the US. A few of my friends call themselves oldschool gamers - but they never played games for PC - their referring to consoles like NES,SNES, and sega. Im the only one without a Xbox, PS2, or Gamecube but one of these days im afraid im gonna break down and confrom to this new way of gaming.
Click to expand...
Hardcore gamers by my, and every one of them I know, are defined by the quality of the games, not the platform. People that I know that like Fallout for example, also like GTA.

Ratty's definition might be a bit more strict, but that's just because he's a PC snob.
 
Dove said:
Hardcore gamers by my, and every one of them I know, are defined by the quality of the games, not the platform. People that I know that like Fallout for example, also like GTA.

Ratty's definition might be a bit more strict, but that's just because he's a PC snob.
Click to expand...
Semantics, semantics. Everyone knows console games all suck. :P
 
FeelTheRads said:
Heck, it is well known that 5% of the gamer population masturbates to head-shots in Counter Strike.
Click to expand...
:rofl: New sig.

As most here've already stated - the described gamers are the average 95% in the world. If it wasn't, there would be more good games than lame ones.

And just because Fallout is not on any of the consoles doesn't mean they're all evil. I myself have only PlayStation, and to tell the truth, I do enjoy an occasional Tomb Raider or even Final Fantasy 7. Resident Evil series are fine too, so I wouldn't put down all consoles just because tere's more crap coming out for them.

Oh, and to add, in my country:
Code: 
Incomprehensable == no graphics/more than 10 lines of text per 1 hour of playing
 
I'd agree that some games are actually better on consoles i.e. madden/NCAA football and splinter cell. But it's weird to know people that consider themselves hardcore gamers that have never played Fallout, Half Life, Red Alert and the hundreds of other PC classics.
 
eye-popping = $150 for a new video card

retro look = your old piece of crap might be able to run it

simulation = something for old people

--edit--

puzzle game = my girlfriend plays those

The Sims = I can make them be lesbians!!!
 
LazyGnome said:
eye-popping = $150 for a new video card
Click to expand...
$150? Pffft, last time I paid less than $500 for a video card was when my GF4 Ti4600 got fried and I urgently needed a replacement.
 
Well, I usually don't buy a PC game until it's been out for quite some time... and down to around $10-20, which means the required video cards are also affordable (for me).

I still remember being excited when my dad upgraded from a Kaypro II to a 386... at the time, the most graphically capable computers I knew about were the Apple IIc's we played Oregon Trail on at school.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top