Mutant Hunter- The Mutant fort

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Okay this is the third and MUCH longer part of Mutant hunter.


Mutant Hunter-The Mutant Fort
Hank looked towards the figures in the distance. They were big, green and heavily armed. They were Mutants, About 14 of them heading right towards Hank and the mutant corpses.
“Shit.” Said Hank through gritted teeth. The mutants weren’t going to be happy when they found four of their dead comrades and Hank knew he couldn’t take on all of them at once. The sun was just beginning to rise over the wasteland and that took away all possibility of him hiding from the mutants. There was no cover and they could just follow his tracks if he ran. Hank lay down in the sand behind a small bush, a short distance away from the corpses. He began to dig in the sand, making a shallow human shaped hole. He flung some sand over his footprints and got into the hole
“Jesus…” He thought as he covered himself with sand, except for his mouth and nose, which were hidden by the bush. By now the mutants were nearing the campsite.
An agile younger-looking mutant with a strange plasma weapon ran up to the burned out fire surrounded by Mutant corpses.
“Samuel!,” called the first mutant to reach the campsite. “Samuel, they are all dead! Gail, Sean all of them!”
A Massive mutant, wielding a Minigun and a plasma rifle walked towards the corpses. He looked upon the corpses with rage building inside of him.
“What!,” Said the massive mutant, Samuel as he neared the corpses.
“They’re dead!” said the first mutant, again.
“How? How could veterans of the masters army be dead?” Asked Samuel
“They are peppered with M-16 bullets. Gail used an M-16 and it’s gone.”
“Those Brotherhood scum. They will pay dearly. Return to base!” Shouted Samuel to the rest of the Mutants.
“Wait,” said the first Mutant. “There are small footprints all around here.”
“And?” Asked Samuel, Beginning to anger.
“This wasn’t done be the Brotherhood. The footprints are too small to be from power armour.”
“An un-armoured human killed four super-mutants? Ha! Then they deserved to die!”
“This human may be a menace.”
“He is probably simply out of power armour, either way, he will die. Ivan!” Shouted Samuel at another mutant.
“Yes, Samuel?” Shouted Ivan back.
“I want you to stay here and watch out for any humans. Take this radio.” Said Samuel, throwing a radio to Ivan.
“Yes, Sir.” Said I van sitting down on a corpse as Samuel and the rest of the team headed east.
Hank slowly rose out of the sand, and readied his M-16. He waited for the mutant team to get out of hearing distance. When they were, he quickly rose to his feet and began to fire at Ivan, expecting to kill him in an instant, but Ivan jumped out of the way and grabbed his laser rifle. Hank let out another burst of bullet and crippled the mutant. Ivan fell to the ground and lay still.
“He went down easier than most. Pathetic, I thought super mutants were strong. Weakling.” Hank said, sneering. He walked over the corpse.
“Pathetic…,” Began Hank, as Ivan grabbed Hank’s his skull and began squeezing. Hank let out low moan of agony as he felt his life slip away.
“You will come to envy the ‘pathetic’ chosen ones of the unity. Humans are the pathetic ones…”
“Die.”
“What! You filthy…”
Hank let out a round of ammo into the mutant’s skull. Then fell over.
“Idiot didn’t even disarm me.” Said Han, as he rubbed his head. Then he looked at the mutant team’s tracks. The footprints left by the mutant team headed almost directly east, except south a bit. He loaded up his M-16 and began to follow keeping a long distance between him and the mutants.
By nightfall Hank had reached what seemed to be a makeshift fort. It was made of large stones, corrugated iron and piles of dirt. The top of the fence was adorned with barbed wire and around the outside of the fort were large wooden stakes with rotting human corpses impaled on them. Some of the stakes had barely livings humans tried to them, others had skulls placed on the top and several had humans nailed to them. Hank looked at the bodies and fear filled him. He remembered his wife, murdered by the ravaging mutant horde. He remembered the mutant ripping off the major’s head. He remembered when the mutant cutting him with his own spearhead, over the left side of his face, not blinding though but leaving him scarred for life. He ran his hand over the two scars and exhaled. Hank turned around and walked swiftly over two a small cliff with a cave on the face. He entered the cave and quickly scanned for predators. None. Hank took off his leather jacket and used it as a pillow. He hadn’t slept in awhile and was tired.
‘Surveillance tomorrow.’ Hank thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.
The next day, Hank was camouflaged by dirt and was keeping a close eye on the base. By midday he had learned that the base had guards in guard towers all around the base. Also he found out that there are small window all over the base, for mutants to fire through if attacked. A patrol of about three mutants went around the perimeter of the base, taking about twenty-five minutes to get around it. The main (and only.) gate was heavily defended but Hank could see plenty of small gap and chinks in the fence surrounding the base that he could slip through. There was one spot that Hank believed he could get to and use to infiltrate the base. If he could sneak from stake to stake without being detected, he should be able to get to this hole in the fencing.
At nightfall Hank crept slowly towards the first stake with a crucified corpse nailed to it. Hank was covered in dust and was the same shade and colour as the sand. He crawled inch at a time towards the next stake. This one has a woman impaled on it, her face was filled with fear at the time of her death. Hank inhaled and moved on. After about five corpses he was at the side of the base. He slid a large piece of corrugated iron across revealing a musty blackness. He pulled out his M-16 and entered the darkness. He was meet by another, more solid wall, made from stone and dirt. The Fencing was just covering the stronger layer of dirt. However there was a small shaft between the inner and outer walls. He slid into the shaft and slowly moved sideways along the pitch-black shaft, hoping for a gap in the inner wall. Eventually, Hank came across a gap in the inner wall with a steel door, blocking the way.
“Emergency exit.” Said Hank quietly. He tried the handle. Un-locked. He opened the door into a dark room that smelled of petrol. Hank slowly walked in, trying to make out where the walls were. Suddenly he felt his M-16 being pulled away from him and his arms being pulled behind his back. A light switched on, revealing three super-mutants, one with Hank’s M-16, one holding his arms and one Massive one cracking his knuckles and smiling. The room was a small, concrete interrogation room. It was lowly lit and there was a wooden chair.
‘Mutant scum.’ Thought Hank.
“Well, I’m glad that we’ve found our little brotherhood knight from the campsite.” Said the mutant evilly with a grin on his face. He cracked his knuckles again.
‘Samuel.’ Thought Hank.
“Sit him down.” Said Samuel. A mutant forced him into a chair and bound his hands with rope. Then the two other mutants left the room.
“Now you and I are going to have a little talk, My brotherhood friend.” The mutant smiled and flexed his neck.
________________________________________________________________
Will Hank tell Samuel to ‘get a pidgeon’? Will Samuel? Will two mutants realise that they’re NOT sterile and get it on? Will the vault-dweller save the day? Will the Enclave be in this story?
The answer to these questions in no. Especially the Enclave one.
 
Ohhhhhhhh...

I like this. I like this very much. The content and storyline you have going is excellent. Now I have two suggestions:

1) Keep watching your grammer and spelling. If you use Word then keep the grammer and spell checkers on. They save me from looking very stupid in my Fics...

2) One word: MORE! More discription. Describe everything until you think you're going to be sick. More emotion. How is Hank feeling at all times. How do the thoughts of his destroyed family and friends haunt him? How do these feelings effect him in combat? More, more, more! This Fic is still very short compaired to mine and mine is short compaired to most others.

Keep giving us more with each installment and we'll keep praising you.

-True Raven
 
RE: Ohhhhhhhh...

Cool story, now it`s right on track. But listen to true raven`s advice about descriptions and emotions, or context and depth.Really cool story.






"shichisho hokoku"
 
RE: Ohhhhhhhh...

[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Jan-04-01 AT 10:38AM (GMT)[p]Gotcha, Raven More description.
Thanks Slinky!, Glad ya all like it.
 
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