my first fan fic. Tell e what you think of this.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Guest
  • Start date Start date
G

Guest

Guest
A man walks the windswepped desert in solitary dressed in black leather and a perpetual scowl on his face. A cold hatred fills hi. All he disires is revenge. Revenge on all Mutants, for destroying his town and murdering his wife and friends. He remembers when the mutants came from the West to his small town of Caprice. He had only survived because he had been hunting geckos at the time and as he came back he saw the Major being held up by the neck,by a large mutant.
"Where is are your weapons, human?"Asked the Mutant in a deep voice.
"Up yours, arse-hole" Replied the Major
The Mutant broke his neck with a loud snap and discarded the body and entered The mans home with two other mutants. Shots sounded fro the house accompanied by a loud grunt, then a scream and mutant laughter. The mutants exited the house dragging the snapped body of his wife Maria. She umbled with her dying breathe 'Hank..' He ran at the Mutants, spear in hand, screaming in anger, but as he neared them a Mutant grabbed him by the face, snapped the spear and used the blade to cut Hank's face. The mutant did this twice before throwing him into the lake that Caprice surrounded.
Now Hank had no purpose except revenge.
--------------------------------------------------------------
It's a bit short, I know but I'm using someone else's computer. So, Whatcha think?
 
It is a bit short, well the spelling mistakes really put it down but you have a good idea appear to be quite a skilled writer. I personaly hop for more and soon.

Have you read about the fan Fic contest, Sorry if i'm mentioning it too much but i want it to be great as it can be.

It's only cheating if you get caught
- Fang_Of_the_BOS@hotmail.com
 
Well...

It's a good idea. If you had put some more time into describing the situation that Hank finds himself in and some more describing of the backstory you could have something really good. Maybe you could use this as an intro kinda?

-True Raven
http://TrueRaven.homestead.com/index.html
 
RE: Well...

[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Dec-31-00 AT 03:13PM (GMT)[p]Thanks Alot! I'll get writing a (longer) next part. By the way this story is called 'Mutant Hunter'
And I have read about the contest and Thats why I started now, instead of writting this up on word and copying it.
 
Tell e what you think of this.

As all those other people said : its very short
but it is very very good
WELL DONE

See Ya' Round
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top