The only papers that have anything worthwhile are the ones with The Great Mouse Debacle:
Dear All,
I saw a mouse, where? there in the rec room, there in the rec room right there, etc etc...
His name is Malcom and although he is very cute I'm afraid he cannot stay so we need to put some traps down.
Also please make sure no food is left out for him - particularly large pieces of cake!
I'm not imagining this as Ed, Damien and Ivan also saw him (albeit rather briefly)
- Tony
Lets get him!
- Jason
I’m not sure which is more worrying. The mouse in the kitchen, or that Tony needs reassurance that he’s not seeing imaginary critters. Hee
- Robin
I say we catch him alive and fatten him up for the next milestone feast...
- Gareth
MMMMMMMmmmmmmm Chicken
- Jason
I almost stepped on him last week..
- Damo
Lets catch him and keep him as a pet. Failing that I could use him as a friend to keep my pet rat company.
- Damo Jr
Leave the mouse alone. He wont hurt ya.
- Parrish
I like to wear mice as hats.
- Ed
Let's make our next game about him. Malcolm the MF Mouse...
- Gareth
So that’s who's been stinkey'n up the loo and not turning the fan on!!! Of course! He cant reach the fan!
- Damo
Nor can he aim, apparently.
- Ed
Let get the little furry F**K.
- Jason
We can always get a mouse-friendly trap rather than a snappy trap...
Although where to dump him when he's caught....?
- Al
OUT THE WINDOOOOOoooowww................. *splat*
Just kidding
- Damo
Simple: a combination mouse trap and catapult.
>SNAP - SPROING - WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH - . . . . . . . . . . thud<
- Ed
I take it that the “THUD” is you whacking him out of bounds with your baseball bat?
- Jason
shouldn't that be SNAP - SPROING - SQUEAK - WHOOSH?
- Gareth
Maybe we could invest in a cat
- Alistair
Down Parrish's trousers! (Now that would be cruel)
- Tony
I just love the sexy scurry of a lady mouse, Leave the mouse alone, Leave all mice alone, My darlin I, cant get enough of you love baby.... la la la la la
- Parrish
No, it should be: SNAP - SPROING - SQUEAK – WHOOSH – ting (microwave done)
- Jason
Did you have a bad mouse experience during your childhood???
- Jan
Gee, that X-Box demo would have worked heaps better if they'd thrown a mouse into a room full of mouse traps already primed with other mice, setting off a chain reaction of SNAPs, SQUEAKs and SPROINGs.
- Ed
This is my one line comment.
- Karl
Maybe we can convince Stuart to eat it?
- Ed
That'll take a lot of convincing
- Stuart
You can do it!
- Jason
Or we could put it back where it belongs .. plugged into the back of somebody’s computer.
- Alistair
Hasn't anyone seen Stuart Little??? He could be our ticket to fame and fortune!
- Kirky
In the sequel to Stuart Little, they're gonna have him infect the happy family with the plague.
- Ed
Has anyone ever seen both parrish and the rat at the same time?... just wondering if there’s some secret identity thingy going on.
- Karl
Maybe he's the little bastard moving everyone’s stuff.
- Max
So was it the mouse that was sneaking smokes in the toilet? Seems like the poor little thing is getting blamed for everything else.
- Damo Jr
Let’s get him!
- Jason
I could use another mouse or two to help power my car...
- Gareth
We should cover the room with flour and see where his little tracks lead. Then douse the mongrel in petrol.
- Max
nah.. That’s not funny.. That’s just a bit sick.
- Damo
Let's just cover the room in Petrol and light it up now!
- Ed
WOOOHOOO!! An old fashion burnin'! Let me duck home and grab me roastin' trousers
- Kirky
I'm beginning to see the start of the Stinky Meat Project part 2
- Alistair
Put his little mouse head on a big dirty pike as a warning to others...
- Lakin
Lets just all burn our pants.
- Max
Umm, you go first.
- Lakin
Let’s get him!
- Jason
You all want to jump me now I've burnt my pants huh?
- Max
One of my friends in high school had a story about his father doing the mouse vs petrol thing when he was young, and with its last chance at revenge, the burning mouse ran into some very long, very dry grass, set the grass alight, and burned down a whole farm.. crops, machinery, house, and also the people who owned it...
- Damo
hahahahaha cooooooool
- Parrish
See, vicious little mongrels, mice. Burn your house down soon as look at you. They're dangerous! Arsonists! Satanists! They must be stopped, before it's too late. It's us or them. [oh, and I'm always available for a pants burning. name a time]
- Ed
Let’s get him!
- Jason
Release your anger and complete the journey to the dark side...
- Gareth
Why don't we just get HIM?
- Max
That's not the mouse you are looking for.. Move along, move along
- Alistair
Let’s get him!
- Jason
I don't think Jason needs any help releasing . . .
- Ed
Certainly not releasing so much as restraining.
- Lakin
Has anyone heard the one about the mouse and giraffe that met in a bar?
- Max
Yep.
- Ed
I think we should all try and get out of the office a little more.
- Parrish
Woowoo! Parrish said we can all go home!
- Al
Let get HIM then!
- Jason
Let's have pants burning as a random encounter, or even a full mission. Somebody keeps sneaking into the BOS base and setting fire to peoples pants.
- Gareth
There isn't really a mouse. I just made the whole thing up.
- Tony
THERE IS NOW DAMMIT!!!
- Damo
Lets get Tony then?
- Jason
Blah blah blah!
- Karl
Dracula impressions? Really?
- Ed
blah blah blah, dude! (keanu in dracula)
- Gareth
If it was MY mouse, Id say like: Get back in the kitchen and cook me some pie bee-atch.
- Robin
You have a pie-cooking mouse?
- Ed
Yeah of course I do, <insert three random names to support self reinforced delusions> saw it as well!
- Robin
If you don't mind I’d like to borrow it for the night.
- Lorne
You need help.
- Ed
That's WHY I need the mouse . . I feel he could add some valuable insights into my non-existent social life.
- Lorne
Let's just set up a big barbed wire cage (or even better, a dome) and have a sort of last man standing dealie. The winner gets to eat the mouse...
- Gareth
I’m in.
- Max
Are we fighting the mouse or each other?
- Ed
I assumed the idea was to beat each other to a bloody pulp.
- Max
Sure, but I've always wanted to compete versus a rodent [I might actually have a chance of winning].
- Ed
Aaaaaargh!
- Karl
"I'm not imagining this as Ed, Damien and Ivan also saw him (albeit rather briefly)"
I'd just like to categorically deny ever seeing a mouse. Tony is a loon.
- Ed
Catch mE IF you cann!!!! i'Ve BEEEN crappping in YoUr Koffee for ^Wee&ks.
HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!
The MOuS!!!!-----
