Mystery Post of Doom!

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[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Jan-03-01 AT 11:15PM (GMT)[p]I, Slinky Avenger, Hereby invoke the Rite of Silliness, and Instigate...ANOTHER ROUND ROBIN!! WAHHHHAHAAHAHHAA!!!


ROUND ROBIN, PART DUEX....ACTIVATE!

Bob the ghoul shuffled around in the run down shack he called home. Being a ghoul, he didn't have much else to do. Anything more than a shuffle would probably cause some of his body parts to shake off. So he shuffled. And shuffled. Day in and day out.

"I'm goddamn sick of shuffling," grumbled the ghoul, "Maybe I'll try a hobbling walk today."

Thus decided, Bob shuffled outside and looked towards the bar across the street. Bracing himself for a feat of walking, Bob inhaled deeply, coughed violently, and began to walk.

It went well at first...but then, on the horizon, came a glimmer of metal and the distant roar of an engine.

"Car!" observed a smooth-skinned man, leaning on a post outside the bar. He had a toothpick in his mouth and was whittling wood with a knife. The man made no move to help Bob.

Bob hadn't expected him too of course. The man was his bitter rival, and went by the name of Tex. Once Tex had stuck hundreds of toothpicks into Bob's skin while he was sleeping. Bob was still plotting his revenge.

Hobbling madly across the street, Bob felt all sorts of things coming loose. Tex just laughed.

Thinking he was in the clear near the side of the road, Bob panted from his exertions, securing his limbs with a roll of duct tape he kept handy.

There was a honk of a horn, and Bob looked up in horror, seeing his own reflection in the Highwayman's chrome grille before he went sailing through the air -his body parts sailing in different directions, of course.

The car came to a screeching halt, and a rather strange man poked his head out of the car, "Oops. Sorry about that...when I see ghouls, I can't help but run the over," he said almost apologetically. He turned to Tex.

"Where's the weapons store?" he asked innocently.

Tex was about to point it out to him WHEN!!!!!

OMIGOSH! what HAPPENS NEXT???????? GO GO GO!


-SlinkyAvenger
ICQ# 42929444
SlinkyAvenger@yahoo.com
http://slinkyavenger.iwarp.com
 
"Nahh i don't neeed any weapons, this one will do!" The stranger decided raising his minigun. With that he riddled Tex full of holes. Tex was bleeding in almost every part of his body and eventually fell to the ground dead. Then the stranger got back in his car and drove off

END OF ENTIRE ROUND ROBIN

Nahh that'd be a bit short. any way here goes some more

"whooah so many ghouls," He whispered, "Jerry just HAS to run them down. Anyway Let's get this car into gear," He said heading for the large group of Ghouls on the Necroplis street.

As he approached and was nearly in contact with them, he was attacked. Attacked by large mutants weilding powerful lasre cannons. The shot sent the car of course and he swerved to come to a halt but couldn't do so before sliding into the group of ghouls at the high speed he was still at. They were knocked in every direction ghoul limbs everywhere. And that is the story of how Jerry killed every ghoul in Necroplis, it wasn't the mutants afterall. They just populated it afterwards.


"Hey that Stranger not nice," One said "He bust down Ghouliees, that our job, let kill 'im"
The mutant drew his laser rifle and aimed it at the car. The car was at acomplete halt while the driver was attempting to launch it. It seemed he had some how dropped the key and so couldn't start the car. But luckjily for him the mutant was distrupted by the 'Vault dweller'TM. The glowing figure approached. He glew with all his divine holiness.



Fang's Web Pages
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/fang
http://www.Egroups.com/group/Fang_BOS

It's only cheating if you get caught
- Fang_Of_the_BOS@hotmail.com
 
As the glowing figure crested the hill, the battle began to subside, as the ghouls, mutants, and incompetent motorist that were struggling on the battlefield began to turn their focus on him.

As the myriad figures stood among the wreckage, the vaultdweller finished his ascent over the hill. He stood at it's peak, overlooking the battlefield with arms akimbo, dripping with heroic clout. He was a tall figure, with a square, mighty jaw, wearing a worn and tattered set of what appeared to be blue and yellow long underwear. Those collected for the melee weren't quite sure how to react to this strange man, and an uncomfortable silence ensued.

"Ahem", the vaultdweller cleared his throat, giving a small cough. He was sure that any second now, he would recieve the standard hero worship, say a few obligatory words about staying in school, and could be on his way. He gazed among the faces of the people, anticipating their expressions of adoration.

There were a good number of blank faces, and most of the mutants scratched the back of their heads attentively. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed motion, which on closer examination turned out to be a duct-taped ghoul shoving toothpicks into the bullet-riddled corpse of a smoothskin and laughing hysterically.

"They just haven't noticed me yet," he thought as they all stared straight at him. He hoped they would soon; his muscles were beginning to strain from holding his hero pose.

Finally, a ghoul broke the akward silence.

"Who in the hell are you?", he asked?

"Glowing man, you need rad-away?", a confused mutant chimed in from the back.

The vaultdweller was dumbfounded.

"Don't you know who I am?", he asked indignantly.

"No, but I reckon ya shore look a might silly in them pajammers, sonny." Said another random ghoul. It was at this point that the vaultdweller decided not to do any more P.R. appearances among hilbillies.

"Well...", seethed the vauldweller through clenched teeth. Quickly regaining his composure, he turned to adress the mutated masses.

"Well, I am... Have you ever heard of the vaultdweller?"

The general concensus was less than encouraging.

"I... You've heard of Tandi in Shady Sands? I saved her life. You must've heard of that?"

A confused murmur ran through the crowd, and the vaultdweller grew visibly more annoyed.

"What about the Hub? You guys know the Hub, right? Well, it's still there, isn't it? That'd be my doing, too."

They continued to stare blankly.

"The...", the vaultdweller stuttered in frustration, "The situation in Adytum? The reparation of your water pump? The cleanup of Junktown? Have you people lived in a cave all your lives?!?!?"

Realization was slowly starting to dawn on the assembly.

"You're that guy that killed all the deathclaws!", an angry voice put in from the back, "They're endangered, you know!"

"You kill Master! You kill Master!", several of the simpler mutants shouted vindictively.

Bob the ghoul, finally taking note of the scene before him, stopped riddling Tex's corpse and looked up. When he did, an expression of thick, choking, rage locked itself onto his face.

"You..." Bob said, pointing an accusatory finger at the Vaultdweller.

"You...", he said louder, trembling with rage. The general chaos had quieted to hear what this sad, warped ghoul had to say.

"You... messed... with... my... STUFF!!!", Bob finished in an inhuman howl.

A gasp ran through the ghouls of necropolis. Something would have to be done.

"We don't want your kind around here!", someone yelled.

"Yeah, string'im up!"

"But... but...", the vaultdweller stammered... "I was here to help you poor souls..."

"Save the holier than though schtick for the desert skags," said Bob. The entire throng was advancing on the Vaultdweller with a mid-to-high range malice factor (Determined from the Pip-boy 2000 malice-o-meter).

"But, I'm a paragon of virtue. LOVE ME!!!!" The vaultdweller was starting to think that perhaps he had found the only people on the wastes who weren't too fond of him. This notion was fostered by the fact that several of the mutants were pounding into their palms with power fists.

Several ghouls began hurling mutated fruit at him as he tried to appeal to them with shiny objects.

"Can't we all be friends?", the vaultdweller asked as the crowd fell upon him and beat him savagely, shoving the mangled heap into the trunk of the Highwayman.

"Well, if you need me, you'll know where to find me", came a muffled cry from the trunk. No one was listening.

"Well, what now?", Jerry thought aloud.

"Hmmm," mused Bob the ghoul, "the whole killing each other thing seemed to have been going nicely..."

"Oh, right, that. Well, if we don't have any other suggestions? Then, killing it is!"

Bob barely had time to dive for the cover of Tex's cadaver as the battle raged on.
 
Bob crawled on his belly over the raging battle in the town. This sort of thing happened often, but Bob was certian this was the worst fight so far.

Who could help him? Who would care? Suddenly, a glint in the sky caught his eyes and he looked upwards.

"Look!" shouted Bob, pointing at the approaching spec.

"It's a bird!" shouted Jerry, currently being twisted in half by a super mutant.

The super mutant shouted, "Plane-plane!"

"No you morons," added an ornery bartender with a bat, "It's >!Super Lenny!<"

Gasps rippled throughout the crowd and there was an uneasy peace. >!Super Lenny!< landed gracfully in the middle of the battlefield and gave everyone a look that was probably supposed to be imperious.

"Why are you fighting?" he demanded.

"Why are you wearin' spandex? You, ya know," said a ghoul, wobbling his hand, "Playin' fer the other team?"

Astonished by the accusation, Lenny just gaped at the ghoul. No one had ever accused him of being gay.

"Er," stammered the ghoul, "Not that there's anything WRONG with that..."

Others near him muttered their agreement, at the same time shuffling away from >!Super Lenny!<.

"I-I'm not gay!" howled Lenny. Others merely sighed and shook their heads.

"Don't deny your true self, >!Super Lenny!<."

"Yeah, embrace your homosexuality."

"But-but..."

"I know I did, and my life has been FABULOUS ever since."

Head turned towards the voice, and the eyes in those heads fell upon the hulking giant otherwise known as Frank Horrigan.

"HE'S gay?" squeaked the voice in the trunk, "Well now I've seen everything."

Frankie pranced over to >!Super Lenny!< and gave him a big hug, driving the air from the poor ghouls lungs. Finally the mutant released Lenny.

"I've been EVER so happy since I discovered myself," said Frankie, striking a rather efeminate pose and bending a wrist at Lenny.

"Er, yeah sure...I better, uh, get going," muttered >!Super Lenny!<, backing away from the crowd.

"Nobody's going ANYWHERE!" said a powerful voice. Once again, everyone swivled in the direction of the voice. It was none other than.....WHO!?!?! write, you sick little monkies! WRITE!


-SlinkyAvenger
ICQ# 42929444
SlinkyAvenger@yahoo.com
http://slinkyavenger.iwarp.com
 
I was Fang! In all his Power Armour he stepped out of his grey skull car.
"Thats right Nobodies going anywhere until I get some power for my car...Frank Horrigan! WHat the Hell> Why are you wearing a pink armoured suit? Why? Oh your gay. Hmmm. Makes sense. Well I'm sorry to say that YOU KILLED MATT FROM THE BROTHERHOOD! EAT ION! Fang dived at his Ion gun in the car and started firing at Frank.
"HAH HAH HAH! DIE DIE DIE!" Fang started to go crazy and pummel Frankie woth Ion blasts until he realized he was getting nowhere.
"Hmmmmm. Not doing much. Oh well, might as well make the best of this." Fang started frying the ghouls. He laughed out loud after slaigtering the bulk of them. Then aimed at >Super Lenny<
"Don't think you'll get away so easy! Span-dex boy!" Fang fired a stream at >Super Lenny<, with no effect. Frank Horrigan got just so angry, he picked up Fang and sat on him.
"Don't hurt my friend >Super Lenny<. It's not nice." Frank said as he picked up lenny and got (With difficulty into a vertibird.
"Ta-ta! No more gay prejudice!"Shouted Frank.
The pilot overheard him, and knowing that homo sexuality was illegal, he kicked him out of the verti-bird.
"EEEKKKK!" Frank squeled, still hanging on to --->Super Lenny<---
 
The Battle had just about stoppedall the mutants, humans, ghould and super heroes were looking at Frank and !>Super Lenny>!

Hey what's this fang called as he saw a cat's paw magazine. He opened it "oohh!!!" He shouted throwing it to the nearest person who happened to be jerry. He opened it too and also threw it on./ It was gay porn.

"that's it, kill the homosexuals!" Fang cried.
"Death to the homosexuals!!!" Everyone else chanted shooting at everything gay

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Fang's Web Pages
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/fang
http://www.Egroups.com/group/Fang_BOS

It's only cheating if you get caught
- Fang_Of_the_BOS@hotmail.com
 
[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Jan-21-01 AT 08:25AM (GMT)[p]"Dag nabbit!" Bob the ghoul said, under his breath. He bit his lip, crossing his arms in frustration. He was used to these kind of little spats by now, but this, he thought, this was just too much. It occured to him as Eminem and Jerry Falwell sniped at Mr. Rogers and Bruce Vilanch that no one, anywhere, ever, should be forced to get used to this much wierdness in a day.

"I'll show them, by gum!" he wheeze-exclaimed, sat against the highwayman, and launched into the fiercest tirade of napping that the town had ever seen. No one noticed.

Frank Horrigan, on the other hand, was up and kicking.

"Oh, play nice!", he cried as he swung girlishly at Fang. Although his technique was lacking, Fang was fully aware of the fact that a single impact from one of those hamfists could crumple him like one of Horrigan's doilies. Even if he did survive, there was the prospect of being caught unconcious with "the new Horrigan". Luckily, He didn't have much time to think about it, because Horrigan threw another punch.

"Unnngh!"

Fang, whose eyes were shut tight in dread anticipation, took a few seconds to realize that it was Horrigan that had uttered that small, wimpish cry. Indeed, when he opened his eyes, "Frankie" was hopping from foot to foot, cradling his limp hand and whining in a (relatively) high pitched voice about his ruined manicure.

Fang, among others, observed the scene with a rather depriciative air.

"Damn. That took the fun out of this on soooo many levels," said Fang. "That's it, I need some R&R, and it starts riiight...

Fang stopped in mid sentence as he turned around, as a scream seemed slightly more logical at this point. For, you see, Fang had turned around and was staring directly at... at...

At what? I got lazy here, go to it. I know where you live, so write!
 
[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Jan-23-01 AT 04:09PM (GMT)[p]staring directly at a tattered beaten open copy of "Finnegan's Wake"!!!! As he stared at the pages and tried to comprehend the book smoke started coming out of his head, the books was simply too much for his mind, electricty started to shoot out of his ears, and then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell a small stream of smoke coming out of the holes where his eyes used to be. and thus he was added to a long line of people killed by the book. The man holding the book slowly closed it and a faint smile played on his lips. The scene was now quiet as the others took in what had just happened. Everyone was just dumbstruck and noone said a thing until a muffled voice from the trunk said

-Who the hell are you?!!!

and the man responded
-just Some Guy.

and everyone went in unison
-oh.


for the next few minutes everyone just stood there looking around, wondering what to do. until "Frankie" said

-well, you took the fun out of everything.

Some Guy responded to this by saying
-Well, sorry, jeez

and everyone milled around some more

Meanwhile....
At the Hall of Weirdness in Denver

-Hmmm...this situation is getting too normal, too boring.. we need to do something. said a mysterious voice, in an outrageous French accent. Activate the Weirdness Beam!

He looked around blankly for a minute and them remembered,
-oh right, the war, yeah I'll have to do it myself.

So he set the coordinates for the Beam and activated it, and as it went through the nominal Cool Sounds and Images phases he made himself some coffe. Then after a long while of waiting for the beam to be ready he went to it and pushed the big red Fire Button, the machine responded
-Thank You for using Weirdness Beam V 2.00000000000000009, your target will be reached in approcamatley 5 minutes.
Then a bright, plaid, colored light shot out of the device (the device looked like a Mr. Coffee) and instead of reaching its target in a straight line it traveled in loop de loops and circles. Until finally it reached its target. The Mysterious Voice smiled evily and said
-Yak! blah, ugh neoh! and then did the entire production of Riverdance by himself before jumping into the Convently Placed Escape Vehicle and dahing away at twice the speed of sound.

Meanwhile...Back at the Site where the Wierdness Beam hit

The last thing they all saw was a plaid beam traveling in starnge directions, but slowly coming towards them until it hit there general area, the beam knocked them all into LSD hallucination mode, and when they recovered from their "Yellow Submarine's" and their marmalade skies, they saw.....




Okay my typing Monkeys have gotten tired, someone continue it from there...MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!, oh come on one of you Monkey's has got to type Hamlet sooner or later.
 
Bumper Post

Oh, come on people! Just because the Slink's away doesn't mean the mice can't play. The story has maximum wierdness potential right now, thanks to Skynet's offbeat sense of humor... :)

Start posting now or I'll dismember you with a sharp blunt butterknife.

... NO, wait, a butterknife would be too good for you. If you don't start posting now, I'll... I'll eviscerate you with... a... a... a corncob! Yeah, that's it! Pretty blunt, eh? Blunter than a knife, I think. And more painful. So... get back to work! ((Cracks whip, perniciously displays corncob))

"Nil Desperandum"

http://fallout.gamestats.com/forum/User_files/3a5b0768718cafc4.jpg
 
RE: Bumper Post

ok, this is a continuation of FIRST part of slinky's story.


"Shut up Dan." mutterd Tex. "Nice Drivin by the way. Didn't think he'd explode like that." Tex said with a grin.

"Heheh," laughed Dan, "Get in the car dude."

Tex strolled over to the car and opened the door. A loud explosion shattered the silence. Tex's chest opened rapidly spraying warm blood everywhere. Dan stared horrified of what was left of his best friend.

Dan violently turned the key and gunned the engine. He peeled out quickly to the left sending the back of his car into a fishtail. He felt a big 'THUD' and looked over his right shoulder to see the corpse of a ghoul smacking into the wall of a stone building. The body of the ghoul dismemberd immediately.

When Dan looked up he could see Ghouls surrouding his Car. They were all wielding Ak-47 assualt weapons. Dan slammed the gas pedal and the car shot foward mowind down 2 ghouls where they stood. The Ghouls opened fire on the car breaking all the windows and tearing the shit out of the outside. Miraculously, the car kept moving as Dan sped out of the dead city.

The ghouls were now about a half mile behind Dan as he turned his head to see if anyone or anything was coming for him. He saw nothing behind him and turn his head back around just in time to see the monstrous green mutant he was about to hit. The car hit the mutant at about 80 miles per hour completely totalling what was left of the car and definately crippling the mutant. Dan however, seeing how cops no longer exist, wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

The G-force of the collision threw Dan from the car with incredible speed. Dan's body hit pavement 20 yards down the road but it skidded face down for another 15 yards.

Dan's body twitched for a minute when finally he moved his arms into push-up positon. He used what strength was left in his arms to lift his torso off the ground. He looked down to notice he was in a pool of his own blood. He saw the puddle ripple as more drops fell. Slowly he put his hand to face and brought it back. It was covered with bright red. Dan was still for 10 seconds and then collapsed to his finall resting position.
 
RE: Bumper Post

hey slinky, when are you gonna get your site back up? You should try doin the fan fic contest again, i never got to see it.
 
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