The script you chose handles a map var to get the quest done. Since you used it in a different map it does not work.
You should make a simple quest of your devise to learn the mechanics. Make something simple whit only using one global var.
Pip-Boy logging: it involves 3 files.
Vault13.gam: register a new global variable. notedown its name and number.
quest.txt: located in blackisle/fallout2/data/data. You'll see sections concerning quests for each town. An exemple:
# Find young Martha and Timmy
1500, 160, 707, 1, 5
The title is the one you give to the quest (not showed to the player).
1550 is the town number (Arroyo, in this case).
160 is the quest number
707 is the global var number in vault13.gam (remember?)
1 is the minimum value you must set the global var in order to have the quest displayed on the Pip-Boy.
5 is the minimum value you must set the global var in order to have the quest to be consudered over
The third file is quests.msg (located in ...data/text/english/game folder. It will read something like:
{160}{}{Young Martha and Timmy are missing. They should be in the whereabouts...}
160 is the number of the quest (remember?), the rest is the quest description.
Make a simple critter script: if the pc accepts the quest you set your GVAR to 1 (make something simple, like "kill a single creature"). The creature will have a script setting the GVAR to 2.
When the pc comes back to the npc you set the GVAR to 3 (quest over).
Your critter talk_p_proc should be something like:
If GVAR =0 say this (pc does not know about quest)
If GVAR =1 say this (pc accepted quest, quest in progress)
If GVAR =2 say this (pc accepted quest, quest over, reward wanted)
If GVAR =3 say this ( quest over, reward given, general dialogue).
You'll soon realize that if you want to give the npc more dialogue options you have to backup your Gvar with a map var (What if the pc speacks to the npc and does not accept the quest? And if the Pc kills the critter and hasn't talked to the npc yet?).
For now make a simple quest, it's kinda easy actually. If this was not clear enough, then please let me know. If this was clear enough I can give you something more complex. Simply ask me. Bye.