review my fanfiction please?

imreallyveryboring

First time out of the vault
Courier Six never knew her real name. It made her scared to think that she may never remember what her life was like before all this. What her family was like, what her friends were like. Although she was grateful to be alive after being shot in the head and left for dead, she couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly confused, hurt and upset. By the time she was on her feet once again, she knew what she had to do. It was going to be difficult, but she was going to do it. Courier was going to find Benny, whether that meant walking as far as her feet could take her, until she finally found the bastard, she was determined. She wanted back what was taken from her and she was going to get it. And she was damn proud to have the two best people by her side on the way through it.

Arcade Gannon was a charming man with a sense of humor that is unfortunately difficult to find in the Mojave Wasteland today. He made a point to try his best to cheer his friends up whenever he felt they needed to be, and although Boone rarely laughed at his jokes, he liked to think that deep down, Boone actually found him hilarious. Arcade grew up around the Enclave with people he is still in touch with today. It made him proud to think that he managed to keep their friendship alive throughout the many years he spent with them, and he liked thinking about his father. Even though he didn't have a memory to hold onto, his family tried their best to explain to him how great of a man he was, and the great things he did. It made him proud when he was told he resembled him in many ways. He couldn't help but wonder if his father would feel proud of him, if he was still here today. Arcade wasn't sure he was proud of himself, but he tried to be, because maybe somehow if he was, his father would be, too.

On the outside, people saw Craig Boone as a cold man who did horrible things, but those closest to him knew he was simply sweetheart who horrible things have happened to. He opened up to very little people, and very little people knew his secrets. The first person he ever talked to about his life was Courier. The first person he ever felt genuinely at home with no matter where they may wander, was her. The first person since Carla. Deep down, Boone still longed for his wife with all his heart, but day by day the pain was slowly leaving him, and although the pain probably wouldn't ever completely leave him, he was beginning to stop longing for the day when death finally took him away from the ruthless world he lived in like a tiny worthless grain of sand. Although his depression still overwhelms him, he felt better. Ever since Courier came wandering up the to him at Novac and greeted him with an awkward wave of the hand and a faint smile across her face, he had hope. Very little, but he had hope.


The cool wind blew against Courier's face as she sat on the ground next to Arcade and Boone. It was a particularly cold night in the Mojave Wasteland, but they couldn't complain. It sure as hell was better than the hot sun that beat down on them during the day. Arcade was deep in thought, his face buried in a book that had strange patterns across the worn old paperback cover, occasionally clearing his throat and mouthing the words, his eyes darting across the torn, stained pages. Courier turned her attention to the starry sky and before they knew it, the sun would take its place. "We should get some sleep," she said, turning her attention to her Pip-Boy around her wrist, glancing at the time and itched her face. "We've got a big day tomorrow. Thought we could all go over to the Strip, have a little fun, you know? And, not to mention, hot baths and a warm bed," she said, with a bright smile across her face. "We could all use a break." Boone nodded and Arcade pulled out a piece of scrap paper from his lab coat, neatly folded it, and placed it in between the pages of his book. He lay down on the cold ground and folded his glasses, carefully placing them in his lab coat pocket. Courier placed her pack on the ground and rested her head against it, and crossed her arms behind her head, looking up at the stars. Courier couldn't help but stare at Boone for a little longer than appropriate. She was always very close to Boone, and she couldn't help but get a fuzzy feeling in her stomach when Boone would press his face against hers as he helped her practice her aiming, or when he protectively pushed her behind him when she was in danger, or... She never admitted it to herself, but she liked Boone a little more than normal. She broke her gaze and turned onto her back, making up little stories in her head before finally drifting off to sleep.

that's my first fanfiction, and of course it's not finished yet. Not nearly. Whatcha think? please don't be too harsh ^_^
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I guess it's well written for the genre, it's not my cup of tea but I suppose my only complaint is more detail, the devil is in the detail.

As part of the writing process, my advice is to reread the story and add more detail.

(Trying to be as unoffensive as possible)
 
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