Saw this over at Codex, and thought it was funneh.

[Pope Viper]

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/halo2.html

 

[victor]

"Exactly. All of society works on that. It's the Joy of Exclusion, my friend. There's nothin' better in the human experience than the look of a cold face pressed against your window while you sit inside warmed by the fire, eating and laughing right at them. I mean, hell, look around me. These kids who spend 50 hours a week on here, they're the same pimple monsters who take a blade to their arms when they're depantsed at prom and shut out of cool conversations in the hallways. Get them on here, though, and the first thing they do is exclude everybody else in the exact same way. Make no mistake, my friend. There ain't an oppressed group in the world who don't long to do some oppressin' of their own. When you've had a boot on your neck, the only thing that makes you feel better is a neck under your boot."


So true, especially for Internet forums.

 

[Tannhauser]

I like the Ultimate War Sim article better.

4. I want those awesome rooted monsters from Starcraft that wait until the enemy gets close and then launch tentacles up their asses. Just think of how demoralizing that would have to be.

But I want to lose points off my Public Support meter every time one of those monsters accidentally impales a schoolgirl in a horrific bloody mess that will shock all but the Japanese.

18. I want to be able to build a POW camp structure where enemy soldiers and suicide bombers are held should they somehow survive battle or should their suicide bombing only be half-successful. I want to right-click on the building and open an option that says "Interrogate Prisoners," which will make parts of the map open up and reveal enemy positions, saving my own units from ambushes.

Then, I want a little cutscene to pop up to announce that photos of my prisoner interrogations have emerged, sparking international outrage because several prisoners were upset and humiliated and some even physically harmed.

The whole world is shocked. Because people were physically harmed.

In a war.

So, I leave the battlefield...

...and brush the flaming chunks of bomb victims off my boots to address the worldwide outrage over the enemy soldiers who had their self-esteem damaged. The game will bring me up on a Court-Martial, everybody pointing out that it was I who clicked the little Interrogation icon. I want to lose tons of Public Support points and have every game objective suddenly put in doubt.