[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Dec-07-00 AT 01:37PM (GMT)[p]Well, this is my first posted fanfic, not really a serious effort, just something I cooked up when I was bored. Let me know what you think, so I can figure out whether to post more or to hide my head in shame. Well, here goes nothing(really, NOTHING[i/]...)
Skag: Diary of an N.P.C.
January 9, 2161 I need to take a crap.
January 10, 2161 I really need to take a crap. I wish my
house had a bathroom.
January 11, 2161 I messed myself today. I hope no one will
notice the smell. Wait, no, I always smell
like that.
January 12, 2161 Today, I stood around.Thought I was looking in
a mirror, turned out to be some guy who just
looked like me.
January 13, 2161 Where the hell do all these kids come from?!?!
Do they even have parents?
January 14, 2161 Had nothing to do, so I shuffled around some.
Then I watched a holotape of the Ellen
DeGeneres Show with Tandi.
January 15, 2161 I'm so lonely...
January 16, 2161 I can't remember which of these houses is
mine. Oh well, they're all just shacks full
of smelly vagabonds, I might as well pick one.
January 17, 2161 Despite all the people who wander into my
house uninvited, I'm still feeling lonely.
And hungry. And sleepy...
January 18, 2161 Sorry my entry got cut short so abruptly
yesterday. While I was writing it, I fell
asleep. Standing up.
January 19, 2161 Today I noticed how much Aradesh sounds like
that guy from Taxi. I mentioned this to him,
and he looked at me funny.
January 20, 2161 I was getting pretty tired of my smell, so I
washed my soiled pants in the town water
supply.
January 21, 2161 I made some friends today. Their names are
peasant and loser.
January 22, 2161 I'm tired of all this standing. If only I
hadn't eaten my couch during the dry season...
January 23, 2161 Loser and Peasant came over today. We stood
around and complained about what shit-
ass names our parents gave us. Then we had 20
orders of Brahmin Fries delivered to citizen's
house. That'll show that uppity bastard to
have a more dignified name than we do...
January 24, 2161 Things are looking up. Not only do I have
Loser and Peasant, but now a dog, too. He
followed me home this afternoon. I named him
Bitey. Now I have a solution to my loneliness
problem. Or my hunger problem. Either way,
everything's coming up Skag!
January 25, 2161 I'm sorry to say that Loser and Peasant are no
longer with us. Loser got trampled today, a
casualty of a freak accident during a routine
brahmin tipping. Peasant drank from the well
that I washed my pants in. Oh well, who needs
friends who make dumbass mistakes like that
anyway? I still have Bitey. I'll never be
lonely again
January 26, 2161 Today, Bitey pissed on aradesh's robe. Aradesh
looked at me funny.
January 27, 2161 Note to self: find something to do that is
more fun than standing
January 28, 2161 Today, some guy came in, took everything on my
shelf, and left. I didn't feel like doing
anything about it.
January 29, 2161 I'm so lonely... Why, Bitey, why? This
morning, I woke up to what I thought was the
warm sensation of Bitey nuzzling my leg. In
actuality, the warmth I felt was numbness, as
Bitey was busy knawing through the meaty part
of my calf. He seemed more rabid than usual,
and, as he tore through the tendons of my
knee, I came to the sad realization that if I
loved him, I would half to let him go, or send
him to hell, or something like that. Acting
quickly, I picked up one of those wierd pieces
of fruit and fed it to him, at which point he
promptly died. I'll miss you, Bitey
January 30, 2161 On closer examination of the remains, it turns
out that Bitey wasn't a dog after all, but a
very large rat.
January 31, 2161 Bitey's remains made for a good stew. I let
one of those creepy unisex children drink the
leftover blood. It seemed to like it.
February 2, 2161 The twitching induced by the Bitey stew has
stopped. Mostly. I feel sorry for that kid, though.
February 3, 2161 I'm tired of all this standing. I wish I had
something better to do so that I would have a
right to complain.
February 4, 2161 Today I located the public bathroom. I've
decided that crapping in my pants was the
right thing to do.
February 5, 2161 Calm down, skag old boy. they're just rocks.
Rocks. ROCKS!
February 6, 2161 What's the deal with Aradesh and that spear?
I mean, he has like an unholy attatchment to
that spear. What's up with that?
February 7, 2161 I left my house to work in the fields today,
and when I came back home, the door was still
open.
February 8, 2161 Come to think of it, no one ever closes any
doors around here. Some guy just opened mine
one day, and I can't remember anyone ever
closing it again.
February 9, 2161 Some of my hair fell out today. Stupid
radiation!
February 11, 2161 Today I discovered that hair is edible.
February 12, 2161 Stood around some more today. That seems to
be the popular thing to do around here.
February 13, 2161 Shuffled around aimlessley
February 14, 2161 Valentines day. Did some more shuffling to
take my mind off how lonely I am.
February 15, 2161 Inadvertently shuffled into a pile of brahmin
dung.
February 16, 2161 Today I discovered that brahmin dung is
edible. Bet you can't eat just one!
February 17, 2161 I messed myself again today. Seeing how
frequently this occurs, I no longer feel the
need to note it in my diary
February 25, 2161 Sorry about the delay between entries, but I
had to eat the eighteenth through the twenty-
third to survive, and I'm wearing the twenty-
fourth.
February 26, 2161 I'm getting more and more freaked out by
those wierd kids. I think I'll follow one
tommorow night.
February 27, 2161 After the sun went down, I watched one of
those bizzarre kids. I thought he was going
home, but he just stood at the edge of town.
I tried to steal his rock, but he threw it at
me instead. Damned Children of the Corn.
February 28, 2161 Today, the same guy that took everything off
of my shelf cleaned out my dresser too. If I
had the ability to bend my knees, I'd catch
up to that guy and give him a piece of my
mind.
March 1, 2161 Realized that my posture would make me
perfect to play quasimodo. Try to pull
together musical production of Hunchback of
Notre Dame.
March 2, 2161 Decided against Hunchback Idea. No one in
town can sing and Ian is the closest thing we
have to Esmerelda.
March 3, 2161 Why doesn't anyone in this town ever have
anything new to say? I don't have any brahmin
burgers. I've never had any brahmin burgers.
March 4, 2161 Aradesh never comes out of that
corner. I think he was born in that corner.
March 5, 2161 Some kid opened the gate to the brahma pen
today, and now they're all loose on the east
side of town. Those things can really bite.
March 6, 2161 Ian's arm is supposed to be injured, but when
I look at him, he doesn't have crippled
limbs. Did I miss something here?
March 7, 2161 More standing. I'm getting real tired of the standing.
March 8, 2161 Some traders from the Hub came by today. We didn't have much
to show them, but they did offer to throw caps at us if we would
dance for them.
March 9, 2161 I talked to Ian today. He said that Seth couldn't guard a fruit even
if it was nailed to his leg.
March 10, 2161 I decided to test Ian's theory. I never got to see If Seth could guard
the fruit because he knocked me unconcious as soon as I nailed it to
his leg. Guess I need to work on my sneak skill.
March 11, 2161 Today I woke up. I can't figure out why.
March 12, 2161 Nothing much happened today. Oh, I did talk to Razlo, though. He
tells me that Seth's healing up nicely. Razlo might not even have to
amputate.
March 13, 2161 I asked Tandi out on a date today. She said she was washing her hair
that day. I find that hard to believe, considering that she has never
washed it before.
March 14, 2161 I poked myself with a stimpack today. Unfortunately, there was no
medicine in it. Luckily, I farted before the air bubble could reach my
brain.
March 15, 2161 A mysterious stranger in pajamas came into town today. Maybe he'll
have some brahmin burgers...
On March 15, 2161, Skag was found guilty of a lack of intelligent conversation and
shot by the stranger in the blue and yellow pajamas. Coincidentally, all the citizens of Shady Sands were found guilty of similar charges: most citizens on counts of lack of intelligent conversation, a few who were found guilty of trying to defend themselves, and one count of impersonating a woman(Tandi). Skag's first action after death was to empty his bowels. He died on his feet.
-Yamu
Skag: Diary of an N.P.C.
January 9, 2161 I need to take a crap.
January 10, 2161 I really need to take a crap. I wish my
house had a bathroom.
January 11, 2161 I messed myself today. I hope no one will
notice the smell. Wait, no, I always smell
like that.
January 12, 2161 Today, I stood around.Thought I was looking in
a mirror, turned out to be some guy who just
looked like me.
January 13, 2161 Where the hell do all these kids come from?!?!
Do they even have parents?
January 14, 2161 Had nothing to do, so I shuffled around some.
Then I watched a holotape of the Ellen
DeGeneres Show with Tandi.
January 15, 2161 I'm so lonely...
January 16, 2161 I can't remember which of these houses is
mine. Oh well, they're all just shacks full
of smelly vagabonds, I might as well pick one.
January 17, 2161 Despite all the people who wander into my
house uninvited, I'm still feeling lonely.
And hungry. And sleepy...
January 18, 2161 Sorry my entry got cut short so abruptly
yesterday. While I was writing it, I fell
asleep. Standing up.
January 19, 2161 Today I noticed how much Aradesh sounds like
that guy from Taxi. I mentioned this to him,
and he looked at me funny.
January 20, 2161 I was getting pretty tired of my smell, so I
washed my soiled pants in the town water
supply.
January 21, 2161 I made some friends today. Their names are
peasant and loser.
January 22, 2161 I'm tired of all this standing. If only I
hadn't eaten my couch during the dry season...
January 23, 2161 Loser and Peasant came over today. We stood
around and complained about what shit-
ass names our parents gave us. Then we had 20
orders of Brahmin Fries delivered to citizen's
house. That'll show that uppity bastard to
have a more dignified name than we do...
January 24, 2161 Things are looking up. Not only do I have
Loser and Peasant, but now a dog, too. He
followed me home this afternoon. I named him
Bitey. Now I have a solution to my loneliness
problem. Or my hunger problem. Either way,
everything's coming up Skag!
January 25, 2161 I'm sorry to say that Loser and Peasant are no
longer with us. Loser got trampled today, a
casualty of a freak accident during a routine
brahmin tipping. Peasant drank from the well
that I washed my pants in. Oh well, who needs
friends who make dumbass mistakes like that
anyway? I still have Bitey. I'll never be
lonely again
January 26, 2161 Today, Bitey pissed on aradesh's robe. Aradesh
looked at me funny.
January 27, 2161 Note to self: find something to do that is
more fun than standing
January 28, 2161 Today, some guy came in, took everything on my
shelf, and left. I didn't feel like doing
anything about it.
January 29, 2161 I'm so lonely... Why, Bitey, why? This
morning, I woke up to what I thought was the
warm sensation of Bitey nuzzling my leg. In
actuality, the warmth I felt was numbness, as
Bitey was busy knawing through the meaty part
of my calf. He seemed more rabid than usual,
and, as he tore through the tendons of my
knee, I came to the sad realization that if I
loved him, I would half to let him go, or send
him to hell, or something like that. Acting
quickly, I picked up one of those wierd pieces
of fruit and fed it to him, at which point he
promptly died. I'll miss you, Bitey
January 30, 2161 On closer examination of the remains, it turns
out that Bitey wasn't a dog after all, but a
very large rat.
January 31, 2161 Bitey's remains made for a good stew. I let
one of those creepy unisex children drink the
leftover blood. It seemed to like it.
February 2, 2161 The twitching induced by the Bitey stew has
stopped. Mostly. I feel sorry for that kid, though.
February 3, 2161 I'm tired of all this standing. I wish I had
something better to do so that I would have a
right to complain.
February 4, 2161 Today I located the public bathroom. I've
decided that crapping in my pants was the
right thing to do.
February 5, 2161 Calm down, skag old boy. they're just rocks.
Rocks. ROCKS!
February 6, 2161 What's the deal with Aradesh and that spear?
I mean, he has like an unholy attatchment to
that spear. What's up with that?
February 7, 2161 I left my house to work in the fields today,
and when I came back home, the door was still
open.
February 8, 2161 Come to think of it, no one ever closes any
doors around here. Some guy just opened mine
one day, and I can't remember anyone ever
closing it again.
February 9, 2161 Some of my hair fell out today. Stupid
radiation!
February 11, 2161 Today I discovered that hair is edible.
February 12, 2161 Stood around some more today. That seems to
be the popular thing to do around here.
February 13, 2161 Shuffled around aimlessley
February 14, 2161 Valentines day. Did some more shuffling to
take my mind off how lonely I am.
February 15, 2161 Inadvertently shuffled into a pile of brahmin
dung.
February 16, 2161 Today I discovered that brahmin dung is
edible. Bet you can't eat just one!
February 17, 2161 I messed myself again today. Seeing how
frequently this occurs, I no longer feel the
need to note it in my diary
February 25, 2161 Sorry about the delay between entries, but I
had to eat the eighteenth through the twenty-
third to survive, and I'm wearing the twenty-
fourth.
February 26, 2161 I'm getting more and more freaked out by
those wierd kids. I think I'll follow one
tommorow night.
February 27, 2161 After the sun went down, I watched one of
those bizzarre kids. I thought he was going
home, but he just stood at the edge of town.
I tried to steal his rock, but he threw it at
me instead. Damned Children of the Corn.
February 28, 2161 Today, the same guy that took everything off
of my shelf cleaned out my dresser too. If I
had the ability to bend my knees, I'd catch
up to that guy and give him a piece of my
mind.
March 1, 2161 Realized that my posture would make me
perfect to play quasimodo. Try to pull
together musical production of Hunchback of
Notre Dame.
March 2, 2161 Decided against Hunchback Idea. No one in
town can sing and Ian is the closest thing we
have to Esmerelda.
March 3, 2161 Why doesn't anyone in this town ever have
anything new to say? I don't have any brahmin
burgers. I've never had any brahmin burgers.
March 4, 2161 Aradesh never comes out of that
corner. I think he was born in that corner.
March 5, 2161 Some kid opened the gate to the brahma pen
today, and now they're all loose on the east
side of town. Those things can really bite.
March 6, 2161 Ian's arm is supposed to be injured, but when
I look at him, he doesn't have crippled
limbs. Did I miss something here?
March 7, 2161 More standing. I'm getting real tired of the standing.
March 8, 2161 Some traders from the Hub came by today. We didn't have much
to show them, but they did offer to throw caps at us if we would
dance for them.
March 9, 2161 I talked to Ian today. He said that Seth couldn't guard a fruit even
if it was nailed to his leg.
March 10, 2161 I decided to test Ian's theory. I never got to see If Seth could guard
the fruit because he knocked me unconcious as soon as I nailed it to
his leg. Guess I need to work on my sneak skill.
March 11, 2161 Today I woke up. I can't figure out why.
March 12, 2161 Nothing much happened today. Oh, I did talk to Razlo, though. He
tells me that Seth's healing up nicely. Razlo might not even have to
amputate.
March 13, 2161 I asked Tandi out on a date today. She said she was washing her hair
that day. I find that hard to believe, considering that she has never
washed it before.
March 14, 2161 I poked myself with a stimpack today. Unfortunately, there was no
medicine in it. Luckily, I farted before the air bubble could reach my
brain.
March 15, 2161 A mysterious stranger in pajamas came into town today. Maybe he'll
have some brahmin burgers...
On March 15, 2161, Skag was found guilty of a lack of intelligent conversation and
shot by the stranger in the blue and yellow pajamas. Coincidentally, all the citizens of Shady Sands were found guilty of similar charges: most citizens on counts of lack of intelligent conversation, a few who were found guilty of trying to defend themselves, and one count of impersonating a woman(Tandi). Skag's first action after death was to empty his bowels. He died on his feet.
-Yamu
!