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That's all.
http://envy.nu/bpen/bp.gif
~cause anything less than total and utter overkill is a complete waste of time~
-it's the freakin' bluepencil!
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[FONT FACE=Arial, Helvetica]a funny thing happened on the way to the forums today...[BR]
[BR]
by bluepencil[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
-------------------[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
I was walking towards the forums, you see.[BR]
Message board rambling, senseless pandering[BR]
My browser was miming contentedly[BR]
The link to ezboard functioning perfectly for me[BR]
[BR]
And that's when it happened[BR]
The world became blazing white[BR]
I found myself talking to a a bumblebear[BR]
Reciting scenes from Gilligans Lair.[BR]
[BR]
The sun was shining like a thousand candlesticks[BR]
The grass was singing to the strings of Pepsi[BR]
I knew then that something was wrong[BR]
Someone was starting to use the Illuminati [BR]
[BR]
It was New York, and frosty Asia's lance..[BR]
the bombs were going off like never to dance[BR]
Cinema was in a slump[BR]
The Internet insider was slapping his rump.[BR]
[BR]
I followed the path with the underline[BR]
IE told me 404 File not found[BR]
I ran downstairs to hide from the DOWs[BR]
Hawking their online magazine, the Walnut Frogs.[BR]
[BR]
I met a yellow purpleberry traveling light[BR]
We had a conversation something going quite;[BR]
We talked of a burning bush[BR]
And health policies going to lose[BR]
[BR]
We walked down a straight-edged path[BR]
The light from the stars lighting the wash[BR]
"What wonders lurk in the buried threads?[BR]
Nothing but gems and moldy bread."[BR]
[BR]
"What drives someone to become part[BR]
of a existence born of electrical arcs?"[BR]
I said, "Companionship. [BR]
Real tolerance and the chance to be hip."[BR]
[BR]
"What drives lamers to thrive?[BR]
To clutter up the boards with false pride?"[BR]
"Euphoria and misguided missiles.[BR]
Attention and endless disguise.[BR]
[BR]
The Net lets you become anew[BR]
Resculpt your ego to potions, adieu.[BR]
Goodby old person, welcome me[BR]
A new man or monster, what do you see?"[/P]
[P ALIGN=CENTER]The purple berry responded. "Spammers.[BR]
Grow and become a great pest.[BR]
What will it take to get no banners[BR]
and put them all to final rest?"[BR]
[BR]
"I don't know, perhaps its true.[BR]
To ignore them, is all you can do."[BR]
"That's worthless, you know that well.[BR]
They'll bother until darkness tells."[BR]
[BR]
"So how do we cope?", I asked the berry.[BR]
"I'm not sure, let's ask that fairy.[BR]
A dewdrop lambana on a tree[BR]
looked at us with eyes of golden relief.[BR]
[BR]
"It's about time someone took notice of me.[BR]
I've seen it all, but none tried to listen.[BR]
I may be small, but I know plenty[BR]
I'm not afraid to say, so no greenies!"[/P]
[P ALIGN=CENTER][BR]
"You sound like a a newbie.", I said.[BR]
"You talk wither not using your head."[BR]
She scowled and called me very bad names.[BR]
And flew away to the the winter rains.[BR]
[BR]
"That was smooth.", the berry scolded.[BR]
"It was uncalled for and rude.[BR]
You drove away the new blood[BR]
How else will we stop the rising flood?"[BR]
[BR]
"Stasis comes, and alliances go.[BR]
But memories linger of times long past.[BR]
I acted rashly. I apologize.[BR]
But I just wanted to offer honest advice."[BR]
[BR]
"Right then, to you I submit.[BR]
Tone down the trash and dig a pit.[BR]
We'll make long replies, though pointless.[BR]
It will most surely impress."[BR]
[BR]
"Fame is costly.", I countered. [BR]
"Can you take such a long thread?"[BR]
"A forum is a forum is a forum.[BR]
The moderators don't pee in the room."[BR]
[BR]
"I disagree, I think they care. [BR]
A responsibility to keep the relaxed air..[BR]
Posts serve dual purposes[BR]
To spread knowable of yourself is useless."[BR]
[BR]
"But if I post twice each day.[BR]
Soon my name will be a part of the way."[BR]
"You will be spammer, then.[BR]
I had hoped you were a man with sense.[BR]
[BR]
"I'm not a man, I'm a fruit! [BR]
I need to make a name for myself [BR]
And nothing will stand in my way[BR]
Not even you."[BR]
[BR]
"Whoa!", I said. "Whoa and sit.[BR]
Is there no other way for you be met?"[BR]
"Maybe, perhaps, let Google say.[BR]
The world will see what I can pray."[BR]
[BR]
We walked down the road and pondered.[BR]
How the yellow purpleberry can trancend.[BR]
And start to let its message known[BR]
and its presence become a popular trend.[BR]
[BR]
"All your base are belong to us. [BR]
The fad defies all reason.[BR]
How can be a part of the mainline group[BR]
Without acting like total moron?"[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
"I have a solution, but I'm afraid. [BR]
That telling it to you would make me a cad[BR]
I won't twist your mind to the brave,[BR]
but suffice it to say, the path is extremely bad."[BR]
[BR]
"Worse than spamming?"[BR]
"Why, no. But it can make you as hated.[BR]
Or rather send others laughing [BR]
at your crappie kind of method."[BR]
[BR]
"Tell me now, Wanderer![BR]
Or I will try and sing you to stunned wonder."[BR]
"Are you any good?" [BR]
"I can make your ears bleed, if that's the trick."[BR]
[BR]
"No.", I laughed. "How can you sing?"[BR]
You don't have the right equipment for it!"[BR]
"Then how is it that I can speak?[BR]
Fourth wall breaking is my specialty."[BR]
[BR]
"In that case maybe you do stand a little chance.[BR]
Of surviving fate and future's dance.[BR]
I am of the guild, called the Illuminati[BR]
We seek to better the world, bit by bit."[BR]
[BR]
"I heard of you, are you not great...[BR]
The masters of the planet, an evil sect?"[BR]
"No, no...that's not us.[BR]
"That cause died a lonesome demise."[BR]
[BR]
The dusk soon fell, and we had to rest[BR]
By a roadside inn called the Buffalos' Best.[BR]
"Mead, wine and water.[BR]
And a good bed, if you want the latter."[BR]
[BR]
The owner was a pleasant chap.[BR]
Given to discourses at the drop of a hat.[BR]
"Life is hard, and goes by quick.[BR]
A drink of ale will let you catch up to it."[BR]
[BR]
"Sorry but escapism is not recommended.[BR]
By doctors worldwide and your liver's spread.[BR]
A dose of alcohol's bad for the plants.[BR]
I'd rather have some stimulants."[BR]
[BR]
"100% Caffeine, coming up![BR]
But I warn against any creative rat."[BR]
"No fear of that, no goodly feat at all.[BR]
My mind is as dry as a warlock's hall."[BR]
[BR]
One orc, not too stupid, approached. [BR]
"What makes a lurker into a furniture?[BR]
Is there a mark, of ranting future[BR]
Is one supposed to be torched?"[BR]
[BR]
"A flame war is good, to those who want to boost up stats.[BR]
But have a care that you don't face up to someone fast."[BR]
"I sense an ego swollen beyond belief", the berry piped.[BR]
"To act up against a moderator ripe."[BR]
[/P]
[P ALIGN=CENTER]The orc sat in front of us and gave us a glare.[BR]
"I seek a world without prejudice and fear.[BR]
Where one's race or skin needs not be a barrier[BR]
to one rise to becoming a Net.warrior."[BR]
[BR]
"Then you shall HAVE IT!", I cried.[BR]
"Already the system is being tried.[BR]
In space no one can hear you scream[BR]
On the forums no one can see your skin."[BR]
[BR]
"I bothers me.", it said finally. [BR]
"That to be accepted I have to shed my personality."[BR]
I sighed with a heavy heart. [BR]
"There is a fine line between mystery and false impart.[BR]
[BR]
The fact that it's so easy to create a Net.identity. [BR]
It makes it easier to lose your sanity. [BR]
Stay your own man, don't let it get to you.[BR]
Your word is flawless, your mind is true."[BR]
[BR]
"So what does it take?", the berry asked. [BR]
"To get Net.respect and kick online ass?"[BR]
"A good, open forum, that's all there is. [BR]
And a goodly bit of creativity, that's not to be missed.[BR]
[BR]
Creating something from material raw[BR]
is the best way to you, attention draw."[BR]
"Hmm..I see then, your point, sir. [BR]
I have ideas, but I am too much in the rear.[BR]
[BR]
There are many people on the Net[BR]
Surely someone has thought of my little bet?"[BR]
"No, that thinking is false.[BR]
Ideas abound and limitless in scope.[BR]
[BR]
Even if you get an old form of debate.[BR]
The way you present it will decide your fate.[BR]
Even if you think up an odd plot. [BR]
How you show it will pick your lot.[BR]
[BR]
A new breath to a dying idea's tree[BR]
is all it takes to be free."[BR]
"I submit! You have given me root.[BR]
"Tell me how to become a part of the group."[BR]
[BR]
I smiled, a little bit taken aback. [BR]
"You want to become a part of my little pack?"[BR]
"Where do you hang, Illuminati?[BR]
May I be allowed to join your party?"[BR]
[BR]
The orc looked with eyes of hope[BR]
And the purpleberry jiggled like a trout.[BR]
"All right then, the gang has two new members[BR]
Come with me and we'll go to the Forum tenders."[BR]
[BR]
"In the morning. 'Tis still shadowstime.[BR]
But time flies while you're having a rhyme."[BR]
"In the Net, there is no such thing as black or white.[BR]
There is no distinction between day and night."[BR]
[BR]
I clapped my hands and felt a a breeze.[BR]
And day came to the inn-side geese.[BR]
"Honk! Honk! Sunlight comes!", the geese cry.[BR]
"Let the business day, at NASDAQ fry."[BR]
[BR]
"Fire! Fire! And landmarks skidding!"[BR]
The people poured out of the inn.[BR]
I looked out and saw an angry Griffin.[BR]
Stenciled on its back is the Spam(tm) Rocking.[BR]
[BR]
It bombarded the place with fires of ivory.[BR]
Carved with phrases like "Multiplayer rulez!", and "Turn-based sux!"[BR]
Soon enough, the masses were enraged[BR]
And shot it down with spears of the logical stage.[BR]
[BR]
We walked the underlined road, battle-worn.[BR]
Down to the hallowed lands of F2s.com.[BR]
Yellow lines marked the entrance wide.[BR]
I laughed as we entered the freedom's hide.[BR]
[BR]
The forums lay open to all astray.[BR]
They goggled at the newcomer's way.[BR]
"It's an orc and freakin clump of vine-fruits!"[BR]
"Yes", I said. "And they're our newest recruits."[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
So far, I got back with hardly any trouble.[BR]
I got constructive behavior down with no pre-amble.[BR]
But even if the orc and the fruit are here to stay.[BR]
A funny thing still happened on the way out of the forums today.[BR]
[BR]
But that, as they say... is another kind of story...[BR]
Best reserved for another kind of random wordplay.[BR]
[BR]
--------------------[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
[BR]
2001 Brick and Pencils[BR]
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[/BODY]That's all.
http://envy.nu/bpen/bp.gif
~cause anything less than total and utter overkill is a complete waste of time~
-it's the freakin' bluepencil!
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^