U
Unillenium
Guest
Put in the cd.
Q: Would you like to install Fallout 3:
1. Yes I have several days to spare.
2. I think my wife is going into labour, maybe another day.
3. What ever happened to small installs!?
Q: Would you like to play Fallout 3?
1. Sorry you have to say yes since the dialogue options were made obsolete by Fallout Tactics.
So you click done.
The irrelevant and poorly coreographed intro plays, and so does the overdone War Never Changes speach that has now been made to forshadow the entire game thanks to FOT.
Main Menu:
All those pretty red buttons to push.
1. Single player
2. Multi Player(ooh sounds good)
3. Preferences (non functional difficulty controls, dialogue options and volume).
4. Replay Introduction (DON'T DO IT!! YOUR STILL YOUNG!)
5. Credits
6. Exit (This one might come in handy)
We'll get back to single player.
First we'll change some options.
You click preferences:
1. Sound volume has automatically been turned up for you since thats the only use for options, and the game speed increased.
Now lets not wait until the end of the game
Lets hit credits:
Sorry you may not view the credits in order to protect the poor fools who made this game...
Lets try Multiplayer:
Q: What multiplayer mode would you like:
1. Fallout Online, wander the vast wastelands with people from all over the world(Sorry Interplay never thoughtup anything like this, this option is currently unavailable as shown by Fallout Tactics)
2. Modem/ TCP-IP (Try to convince your friends to buy the game so you can play with them)--Also note that we would never let you play cooperatively: We are too lazy to program that in--
3. FPS (Click here to download that half-life mod that was almost a fallout FPS until they changed everything at the last minute, and then updated it, made a horrible ammo system that was probably supposed to work on a system of clips but instead gave your Mp-5 7 extra bullets after you ran out(how realistic is that one) and choices for customizing yourself that didn't work either, For example Lots of ammo gives you dual 9mm Pistols, like that will do you any good.)
4. Back (Prefered option by most users)
Hey lets try Single Player:
Q: Would you like a good plot?
1. Yes (sorry this option has been disabled due to our attempts to please everybody.)
2. No (I'm actually the target audience that Interplay works for)
3. Back (MUST CLICK EXIT BUTTON ON MAIN MENU!!!!!)
Lets be brave and click No so we can start this game.
Lets see:
Should we
1. Take premade character (at the sacrifice of being able to get anywhere in the game.)
2. Make your own (At the sacrifice of actually being able to write a bio for the character for purposes of personal satisfaction)
3. Modify a premade character.
(Have a crappy bio for your character that now doesn't even fit it.)
4. Back
(hmm maybe this is a good choice)
Lets Make our own
Hmm...
Lets see
How much intelligence do we need:
Well, since Even as early as fallout 2 they sorta made most of the game combat oriented, better keep it low so we can have combat related stats.
What skills should we use:
Small guns: Ofcourse, that guass rifle sure finishes the game quickly.
Big guns: Nah,
Energy Weapons: Oh yes thats right, they can't penetrate the last boss's armor.
Unarmed+Melee: Might have to take these becuase they don't give you weapons to start because its a bleak post nuclear world, even though half way through the game you get a MEGA SUPER BLASTER GUN 2000!!! WOOHOOOOO
Lock Pick/steal: Nah, thats what the excess of dynamite and Plastique is for.
First aid/doctor: Might wanna take one of them since in FOT medical officers that do the work themselves went obsolete.
Speach and barter: Remember theres no real dialogue options anymore, so you better leave these alone.
Gambling: So you can tape down the first 4 numeric keys early in the game and be a millionaire when you get back from walking the dog.
Outdoorsman: If this game is anything like tactics you might want this to relieve the furstration of having to encounter something every 5 seconds, however you can't die in an encounter since you are pretty much placed at the exit grid.
Traits:
Hmm
1. Interplay - People make many critical failures in sales and marketting around you, the downside is so do you.
2. Real Fallout Fan - You are much better at dealing with dialogue options than others: Your speech and bartering is better than other players but the trade-off is that you are appauled to find that these skills are no longer needed in fallout.
3. 14 Degrees East - You can sell almost anything to people but your talent to tell a story is impaired: Your bartering skill gains 100 percent but your speech is reduced to 0 and you can't add any skill points to it later in the game.
4. Chem Reliant - Also known as FOT Developer: You rely on drugs and other substances to get your kicks out of life, since you are depressed from being fired by interplay for doing such a horrible job.(you get addicted to chemicals easier)
5. Small Brain - Your brain is much smaller than others, you can handle guns better but you can't speak very coherently....probably the best trait you could ever find in any game by interplay to come.
6. Fast release - You can't aim at a small target audience that will actually appreciate a well written game. Thats okay becuase you don't need to since you release games so quickly you couldn't write a plot they would like anyways.
I think Gifted and Skilled will do for me...
Now lets start the game:
Q: Would you like to start with guns:
1. Yes but nothing spectacular (option unavailable since Fallout 2)
2. Yes, a sub machine gun.
3. A super mega blaster gun so I can get through the game really fast!!
4. I'm playing fallout 3? Whoa, I musta been pretty stoned if I went and bought another interplay game!
You get the intro video, then you have to walk through a 2 hour mission since FOT had an influence on this game.
Now you finally get to talk to somebody.
The person says
Hey I'm Itch, the poorly written NPC who tries be be humorous but can't do a good job since the 14 Degree Easter writers are such slackers. Who are you?
1. Die! (wwoohoo time for more combat)
2. Die!
3. Die!
4. Hi My names -name-
lets click 4. Oh wait, the guy attacks me anyways, you can't talk him out of combat just like in Fallout 2.
You get past him, and then you are given your quest to find a poorly named something or other.
Q: What would you like to be finding in this game
1. Water Chip (Something practical and believable that actually seems like a crisis to not have BUT: its just repeating the same plot over again to try and get some of the old gamers back)
2. the GECK: hey you already found it but other people need it ot.
3. Something with an atmosphere similar to the whole water chip thing. (Button is grey becuase theres no such option)
Hmm, lets find the geck again.
Sheesh
Q: Would you like to install Fallout 3:
1. Yes I have several days to spare.
2. I think my wife is going into labour, maybe another day.
3. What ever happened to small installs!?
Q: Would you like to play Fallout 3?
1. Sorry you have to say yes since the dialogue options were made obsolete by Fallout Tactics.
So you click done.
The irrelevant and poorly coreographed intro plays, and so does the overdone War Never Changes speach that has now been made to forshadow the entire game thanks to FOT.
Main Menu:
All those pretty red buttons to push.
1. Single player
2. Multi Player(ooh sounds good)
3. Preferences (non functional difficulty controls, dialogue options and volume).
4. Replay Introduction (DON'T DO IT!! YOUR STILL YOUNG!)
5. Credits
6. Exit (This one might come in handy)
We'll get back to single player.
First we'll change some options.
You click preferences:
1. Sound volume has automatically been turned up for you since thats the only use for options, and the game speed increased.
Now lets not wait until the end of the game
Lets hit credits:
Sorry you may not view the credits in order to protect the poor fools who made this game...
Lets try Multiplayer:
Q: What multiplayer mode would you like:
1. Fallout Online, wander the vast wastelands with people from all over the world(Sorry Interplay never thoughtup anything like this, this option is currently unavailable as shown by Fallout Tactics)
2. Modem/ TCP-IP (Try to convince your friends to buy the game so you can play with them)--Also note that we would never let you play cooperatively: We are too lazy to program that in--
3. FPS (Click here to download that half-life mod that was almost a fallout FPS until they changed everything at the last minute, and then updated it, made a horrible ammo system that was probably supposed to work on a system of clips but instead gave your Mp-5 7 extra bullets after you ran out(how realistic is that one) and choices for customizing yourself that didn't work either, For example Lots of ammo gives you dual 9mm Pistols, like that will do you any good.)
4. Back (Prefered option by most users)
Hey lets try Single Player:
Q: Would you like a good plot?
1. Yes (sorry this option has been disabled due to our attempts to please everybody.)
2. No (I'm actually the target audience that Interplay works for)
3. Back (MUST CLICK EXIT BUTTON ON MAIN MENU!!!!!)
Lets be brave and click No so we can start this game.
Lets see:
Should we
1. Take premade character (at the sacrifice of being able to get anywhere in the game.)
2. Make your own (At the sacrifice of actually being able to write a bio for the character for purposes of personal satisfaction)
3. Modify a premade character.
(Have a crappy bio for your character that now doesn't even fit it.)
4. Back
(hmm maybe this is a good choice)
Lets Make our own
Hmm...
Lets see
How much intelligence do we need:
Well, since Even as early as fallout 2 they sorta made most of the game combat oriented, better keep it low so we can have combat related stats.
What skills should we use:
Small guns: Ofcourse, that guass rifle sure finishes the game quickly.
Big guns: Nah,
Energy Weapons: Oh yes thats right, they can't penetrate the last boss's armor.
Unarmed+Melee: Might have to take these becuase they don't give you weapons to start because its a bleak post nuclear world, even though half way through the game you get a MEGA SUPER BLASTER GUN 2000!!! WOOHOOOOO
Lock Pick/steal: Nah, thats what the excess of dynamite and Plastique is for.
First aid/doctor: Might wanna take one of them since in FOT medical officers that do the work themselves went obsolete.
Speach and barter: Remember theres no real dialogue options anymore, so you better leave these alone.
Gambling: So you can tape down the first 4 numeric keys early in the game and be a millionaire when you get back from walking the dog.
Outdoorsman: If this game is anything like tactics you might want this to relieve the furstration of having to encounter something every 5 seconds, however you can't die in an encounter since you are pretty much placed at the exit grid.
Traits:
Hmm
1. Interplay - People make many critical failures in sales and marketting around you, the downside is so do you.
2. Real Fallout Fan - You are much better at dealing with dialogue options than others: Your speech and bartering is better than other players but the trade-off is that you are appauled to find that these skills are no longer needed in fallout.
3. 14 Degrees East - You can sell almost anything to people but your talent to tell a story is impaired: Your bartering skill gains 100 percent but your speech is reduced to 0 and you can't add any skill points to it later in the game.
4. Chem Reliant - Also known as FOT Developer: You rely on drugs and other substances to get your kicks out of life, since you are depressed from being fired by interplay for doing such a horrible job.(you get addicted to chemicals easier)
5. Small Brain - Your brain is much smaller than others, you can handle guns better but you can't speak very coherently....probably the best trait you could ever find in any game by interplay to come.
6. Fast release - You can't aim at a small target audience that will actually appreciate a well written game. Thats okay becuase you don't need to since you release games so quickly you couldn't write a plot they would like anyways.
I think Gifted and Skilled will do for me...
Now lets start the game:
Q: Would you like to start with guns:
1. Yes but nothing spectacular (option unavailable since Fallout 2)
2. Yes, a sub machine gun.
3. A super mega blaster gun so I can get through the game really fast!!
4. I'm playing fallout 3? Whoa, I musta been pretty stoned if I went and bought another interplay game!
You get the intro video, then you have to walk through a 2 hour mission since FOT had an influence on this game.
Now you finally get to talk to somebody.
The person says
Hey I'm Itch, the poorly written NPC who tries be be humorous but can't do a good job since the 14 Degree Easter writers are such slackers. Who are you?
1. Die! (wwoohoo time for more combat)
2. Die!
3. Die!
4. Hi My names -name-
lets click 4. Oh wait, the guy attacks me anyways, you can't talk him out of combat just like in Fallout 2.
You get past him, and then you are given your quest to find a poorly named something or other.
Q: What would you like to be finding in this game
1. Water Chip (Something practical and believable that actually seems like a crisis to not have BUT: its just repeating the same plot over again to try and get some of the old gamers back)
2. the GECK: hey you already found it but other people need it ot.
3. Something with an atmosphere similar to the whole water chip thing. (Button is grey becuase theres no such option)
Hmm, lets find the geck again.
Sheesh