Superpowers 2 Shows It How It Is

J

John Uskglass

Venerable Relic of the Wastes
http://www.quartertothree.com/inhouse/reviews/137/



We wouldn't be in the mess we're in right now if GolemLabs had given George Bush an advance copy of SuperPower 2, which "is more realistic with more depth than ever" and based on "real data from the C.I.A., U.N., and U.S. military". Because if Bush had played it, he would have known that if you drag select all the units in the United States and move them to Iraq, the country will be yours in six months. Actually, you get military control of the entire place in about a week, but it's another six months for political control since you have to wait that long for the annexation treaty to go through.




While I was waiting, I decided to explore further how much better at Presidenting I am than George Bush. So I went ahead and took North Korea and then Iran, thereby eliminating the Axis of Evil in less time than it took Bush to think up the phrase. It was easy as pie, so I can't imagine why George Bush couldn't figure it out. Maybe all those years spanking Skull n' Bones pledges at Yale, rolling dollar bills into tight straw-sized tubes, and clearing out his offices from failed corporate ventures gave him painful carpal tunnel syndrome that prevents drag selecting.

To be fair to our unesteemed President, it did get a little tricky with Iran, because then other countries started attacking me in drips and drabs. They were basically little fifth-rate players like Libya, Syria, Yemen, and Myanmar, not to mention those ungrateful bastards, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. Maybe GolemLabs forgot to put the first Gulf War in the game, because considering our pre-2002 track record cleaning up messes over there, I don't know why they'd freak out when I save their asses from Saddam and then throw into the bargain security from Iran's mullahs.

So I took a page from Harry Truman and nuked Saudi Arabia to show everyone that I meant business. I don't know if it made any difference, but I think the attacks in Iran are easing up. Actually, I can't really tell, since they just show up as puffs of smoke and I have no interest in clicking on them to watch pictures of tanks and jets that don't even shoot at each other. Besides, my approval rating as President went back up to 90% within a year of launching nukes, with US stability holding steady at around 83%. That's a hell of a lot better than President Bush is doing and he hasn't even gotten around to launching nukes yet. So I got bored of that game and decided to win peace in the Middle East by going to root of the crisis. I loaded up a game as Israel and annexed the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. Within six months, voila!, no more Palestinian problem. I swear, based on SuperPower 2, I don't know what the big deal is about global politics, because I'm doing a hell of a lot better than the people in charge. Of course, the joke is on me, because now I'm the one with Starforce copy protection drivers still on my system even though I've uninstalled SuperPower 2.
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I've wondered about this game and whether it was a true reflection of world security, or just a Rome: Total War clone (with respect to the strategic element). Now we know :(

Good strat games are hard to find.
 
Oh Jesus... those guys will NEVER learn to make a real game, will they? :shock:

I remember their explanation of the first game, and why it had no country-specific AI. (Uganda had the same guidelines as the USA or Gemany) They said they didn't want to foster national and racial stereotypes, so they made all countries the same.

...far as I can tell, they copped out because they weren't capable of making a real AI. Doesn't sound like SP 2 is much better. :?

Meh. Talk about a promising concept being killed by reality and incompetence.
 
Murdoch said:
I've wondered about this game and whether it was a true reflection of world security, or just a Rome: Total War clone (with respect to the strategic element). Now we know Sad

Good strat games are hard to find.
Click to expand...
Not if you know where to look.
 
I hear superpower 2 sucks whale cock. At least the first game had Burma spontaneously launching a border clash against Luxembourg.
 
Whenever I played superpower, I either played as Canada and got nukes or played as the US and developed new nukes. I think I might have a nuke problem.

I think I'll play a game of Superpower 1......
 
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