Vault-13 -- Ch1 (For anyone looking for something to read)

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[font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Feb-23-02 AT 04:48AM (GMT)[p]Here's a little something I knocked together in yet another post-midnight single four-hour-long sitting (what is with that shit, really? I can't write unless I'm doing it at the most insane hours). Anyway, I hope I've finally got the ball rolling and will be able to post the following chapters in a nearer future than had been the case with my previous story.

BTW, if you have a gripe with the story, give it to me. I was in a really weird place when I wrote this, and I haven't read through it again yet, so I'm not sure what sounded totally off the wall.

Homer sleep now. See you around.

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Vault-13

(I)





Level G. Ground floor.

Ground floor. The floor of the "Plug". The floor with only a few thick panes of metal and radiation shielding standing between those present and the outside. The floor where the prison was weakest.

The lights were off. To Owen, or anybody else in the Vault, this usually didn't present a problem, but here it was a sizeable one. In this room, it mattered that he couldn't see. The sheer novelty of this mere fact was enough to convince him that he could never to go back up there.

For a while, Owen contemplated leaving the lights off so he could explore the room manually in the dark, inch by precious inch. But the sound of voices and running footsteps behind him snapped Owen out of his daydreams and he hurriedly twisted the light switch. The room gradually became bathed in a blue flourescent glow from above, enabling Owen to proceed deep into the cavernous room, his steps determined, his gaze fixed on the blast doors in the opposing wall.

Upon reaching the door, Owen instantly set about working it's wiring. He worked fast and he worked smooth, despite the increasingly loud trots of the individuals coming for him. He isolated the wires he needed to short out and completed stripping them just as the call came.

"HEY!"

Owen paused, genuinely curious about what they were planning to do. He turned to face them as he stood straight, but never released the wires from his grasp.

Only two of them were there. The usual two. That sanctimonious son of Langden and his unfortunate partner Adam. Both had guns out of holsters and were readjusting their grips on their weapons' butts. But Owen still wasn't terribly frightened. From the unconventionally worried look on his face, Owen would've bet the farm that Adam wasn't happy about being the first one on the scene this time.

Junior, on the other hand, was damn near ready to rip Owen apart to his base components with much glee, and would've given it a good try if Adam hadn't intervened. Unable to offer anything more than contemptful glowers in protest, Junior finally backed down to the fellow enforcer's demands that he be quiet and back up.

Adam turned to Owen, searching for words, but could do no better than an indicative glance at the wires held by Owen, followed by a simple plea. "Don't do it."

Despite the raw emotions Owen detected in the man's voice, his own resolve refused to yield. "I have to," he calmly and indubitably replied.

Junior couldn't compose himself much longer. "Have to, MY ASS!" he fumed, hastily advancing on the infidel. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THERE!" he yelled and lined up a pistol whip with Owen's head, but his stroke never made it because Owen's stroke hit home first.

Owen's free arm swung the metal rod seemingly from out of nowhere, and the impact sent Junior sprawling, who was out cold before he hit the ground. Before Adam had a chance to stop him, Owen grabbed the injured man's gun and pressed it into his head. Adam had now ceased all negotiations and his pistol was trained squarely on Owen's head.

Seconds ticked by, each seeming to drag longer and longer than the last. No man dared even flinch. The tense silence was eventually broken by the muted rumble of a dozen extra footsteps -- more enforcers. As the sound of their approach got closer, Owen slowly and placidly removed the muzzle from Junior's temple. Hoping the situation wad defused, Adam followed suit and lowered his weapon.

But without warning, Owen turned his attention to the hacked door panel and crossed the wires. Adam exclaimed a resounding "No, DON'T!" but it was too little too late. The lighting dimmed as the cirquit shorted out. Sparks shot from within the doorframe and the thick metal panes began their slow rumble away from each other. One down, one to go.

"GOD DAMMIT, OWEN!" yelled Adam, once again drawing his weapon. "CLOSE THAT THING NOW!" Owen paid him no heed. He patiently waited for the door to open and confidently stepped into the gray zone, towards the last step on his passage to the outside.

The backup was arriving and getting into covering positions right behind Adam, but he was taking little comfort in that. His voice became louder and more frantic with each word. "DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOOT YOU!" he yelled. "I WILL! I'LL FUCKING SHOOT YOU IF YOU DON'T GET AWAY FROM THAT DOOR!"

Still nothing. Owen continued towards a wall-mounted hatch, inside which he found a large lever labeled "Hydraulic Lock". Grabbing confidently on the lever despite Adam's ranting, he turned it towards "UNCOUPLE" and. . .and. . . . . .and nothing.

Both Adam and Owen looked immensely surprised, but Owen was the first to understand what had just happened. Below the lever, there was an instruction carved into the metal plating, which read "Levers must be operated simultaniously."

"Levers"? As in, "more than one"? Owen looked back to see a second hatch on the opposite wall, which had escaped his initial attention due to faulty, flickering lighting on that side of the room. *Beautiful,* thought Owen bitterly. There was certainly no way he was going to fulfil that "simultaneous" clause on his own.

He turned to Adam and with a bitter smile on his face asked "Don't suppose you're gonna lend me a hand here?"

Adam couldn't get past the sardonic tone in Owen's voice, but for all his doubts, he was thoroughly skewered in place by the prominent presence of weapons. Nobody was just going to waltz right out of there and they both knew it.

Depression kicked in as that fact was digested and Owen's head dropped. But he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't return there, and he brought his gaze up again to meet theirs, along with his weapon.

"Owen, NO!!!" Adam yelled, but he could do no more. Round after round tore into Owen's body as the squad behind Adam opened fire.
 
RE: Vault-13 -- Ch1 (For anyone looking for something to rea

Personaly i prefer this one:
Joined: Feb 23, 2002
Posts: 5 Posted: 2002-02-26 07:51
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Finished revising this chapter I have. Address poorly focused dramatic tension I did. Hopefully to you satisfaction it is, so get cracking on Chapter 2 I can, mmmmm?

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Chapter 1



Level G. Ground floor. The floor of the "Plug".

The floor with only a few thick panes of metal and radiation shielding standing between those present and the outside. The floor where the prison was weakest.

Indubitably the reason why no one was allowed down here.

Owen reflected on how long he'd been sneaking off during lights out to come here. The unfamiliarity of the location and isolation it provided were such a new experience, he couldn't help himself but keep coming back. It was a treat that wouldn't be resisted.

But now, much to his dismay, even this had worn thin. Like chewing gum masticated for days on end, visits to the floor were stripped of all novelty. It, too, was now bland and tasteless. He could negotiate it walking backwards in pitch black darkness like the rest of the Vault.
There was no doubt in Owen's mind as to what had to come next.

He hotwired the vestibule doors and stepped through, fully aware he just attracted the attention of the Overseer and his Gestapo. But there was no way around that. The only choice he had was to work fast. His gaze locked on the blast doors imprinted with a huge number thirteen on the opposite side of the cavernous vestibule and he ran for it.

Reaching the door, he instantly set about working it's wiring. In the background, echoes of distant trots on the metal floor and voices yelling commands and directions were getting louder by the second. Finally isolating the wires he needed to short out, Owen began to strip them, when suddenly the call came.

"Stop!"

Owen paused, recognizing the voice.

Adam.

Owen turned to face him as he stood straight, but never released the wires from his grasp. Adam was the only one there, but more company was audibly approaching still. "You got here rather quick," commented Owen. "Dumb move. Now they'll know you were down here too. . .You know that, don't you? What do you think they'll do to you then?"

Adam's brief downward glance betrayed his contemplation of Owen's words. "Might as well help me out while you're here." With that, Owen returned to his business with the door lock, but was instantly summoned again. "Owen."

"Mmm-hmm?" he hummed without taking his attention away from the wires.

"OWEN!!!"

"WHAT?!!!" he yelled back, turning around. The question's answer was waiting in Adam's hand - his gun was no longer holstered. Meanwhile, the other enforcers were arriving at the vestibule's entrance.

"Don't do it." Adam's simple plea touched him, but for all the raw emotions he detected in his voice, Owen found his own emotions unyielding. "I have to," he replied unapologetically.

Adam suddenly became aware of the other people present. Turning around to see them, he was met by a dozen storming enforcers with guns drawn. "No, NO!" he yelled at them, trying to shield Owen from their weapons. "Wait! Don't shoot!" One of them barged past Adam, seemingly hellbent on getting up close and personal with the defiler. He lined up a pistol whip with Owen's head, but his stroke never made it because Owen's stroke hit home first.

Owen's free arm swung the metal rod seemingly from out of nowhere, and the impact sent the man sprawling, out cold before he hit the ground. Before Adam or the other enforcers had a chance to even react, Owen grabbed the injured man's gun and pressed it into his head. At that point, even Adam ceased all negotiations and his own pistol joined the others in aiming squarely at Owen's head.

Seconds ticked by, each seeming to drag longer and longer than the last. No man dared even flinch. Eventually, Owen decided to back down, slowly and placidly removing the muzzle from the unconscious enforcer's temple. Hoping the situation was defusing, Adam followed suit and lowered his weapon, quietly encouraging the others to do the same.

But without warning, Owen turned his attention to the hacked door panel and crossed the wires. Adam exclaimed a resounding "DON'T!" but it was too little too late. The lighting dimmed as the circuit shorted out. Sparks shot from within the doorframe and the thick metal panes began their slow rumble away from each other. At the same time, Adam again had to throw himself in the line of fire to stop Owen from being blasted.

"GOD DAMMIT, OWEN!" yelled Adam. "CLOSE THAT THING NOW!" Owen paid him no heed. He patiently waited for the door to open and confidently stepped into the gray zone, towards the last step on his passage to the outside.

Adam's voice became louder and more frantic with each word. "DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOOT YOU!" he yelled, drawing his own weapon again. "I WILL! I'LL FUCKING SHOOT YOU IF YOU DON'T GET AWAY FROM THAT DOOR!"

Owen's only reaction was giving him an almost teasing look as he opened the wall-mounted hatch labeled "Hydraulic Lock". Impassively reaching for the lever inside, he threw it towards "UNCOUPLE".

"NOOOOO!!!" Adam threw his arms up, shut his eyes and prepared for the worst. . .

But nothing happened.

No one opened fire, and the plug didn't unlock either. Adam's eyes slowly opened and scanned the enforcers. The will to fire was still there, but now some of them were exchanging confused glances.

Owen was the first to understand what had just happened. Below the lever, there was an instruction carved into the metal plating which read "Levers must be operated simultaneously."

*"Levers"? As in, "more than one"?* Owen looked over his shoulder to see a second hatch on the opposite wall of the chamber, which had escaped his initial attention due to faulty, flickering lighting on that side. *Beautiful,* thought Owen cynically. There was certainly no way he was going to pull off the "simultaneous" act on his own.

A bitter smile spread on his lips. "Don't suppose you're gonna lend me a hand here?" he asked Adam.

Adam couldn't get past the sardonic tone in Owen's voice, but for all his doubts, he was thoroughly skewered in place by the prominent presence of weapons. Nobody was just going to waltz right out of there and they both knew it.

Depression kicked in as that fact sunk in. Owen's head dropped. But not for long. His face hardened as he remembered his oath to himself never to return there.

Owen brought his steely gaze to bear on his foes, along with his weapon, and Adam's anguished cry was drowned out by the sound of a dozen guns opening fire...

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Better, don`t you guys think so?
 
RE: Vault-13 -- Ch1 (For anyone looking for something to rea

Ok, here's the deal.

I'm still really keen to write a Fallout fanfic, but there's a snag I just can't work through. I want to write a gripping story, but the only way to keep a story gripping is to make sure the reader doesn't see it coming, and since this fic is based firmly in experiences you've all had first-hand in the game, I lose that quality from the get-go. So the only alternative is to work around it. Meaning, I'd have to embelish a lot plot for the sake of a degree of unpredictablity. It'd be like the above chapter for the most part -- not so much a rewriting of the Fallout universe as the addition of characters and events unheard of in the game.

Would you read this kind of fic, or is it tantamount to blasphemy in your eyes?
 
RE: Vault-13 -- Ch1 (For anyone looking for something to rea

There are others doing it, don`t worry.
 
RE: Vault-13 -- Ch1 (For anyone looking for something to rea

Yes, Owen died! Annoying little moron.

" Eat lead, chop shop boy! " - Chosen One
All hail Lord Phrog, #1 fan and veteran of Fallout series.
 
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