No Mutants Allowed

Especially when I look at what other people have achieved such as writers and artist.
And as I had the whole day to do something I am really angry at myself that I want to hurt myself.

That is because you are comparing yourself to the wrong people. The average person is just like you and feeling the same thing. Hurting yourself is not the solution though it just makes it worse. Your attitude is the problem. How you react is the problem. You cannot change your situation.

Don't worry bro. My motto is " Try not to be too unambitious "
Even cowboys get the blues.
I dreamt of being a basketball player but I am only 5ft 2'

You cannot suddenly become mentally healthy due to being autistic so you need to learn to handle living to the best of YOUR ability not someone else's.

People live without limbs, people live without eye sight, people live without hearing...your limitation could be better or worse but you have to accept what you are and accept your limitations and learn to deal with them productively. People like Crni are talented and still afraid of showing their work.

Sometimes like every single day I have images of putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger. I do not identify with those thoughts. That is something you should try as well. Those thoughts are just neurons connecting to retardation.

Buddhist teachings actually help if you detach the dogmatic bullshit. Long and short of it tell yourself to shut the hell up next time it tells you to kill yourself or hurt yourself. It might not ever stop until you change your situation so handling the symptoms is key.

I do admit that i feel the same sometimes, but it's something that you need to get off of your head. Just try to enjoy life in every good moment.