Apocalyptic Robitia (NOT A FALLOUT RP BUT IS POST APOC)

"Uhh, Guys... A little help here" I say, trying to pick up an arm with my feet by pinching a skin fold between my first two toes.
 
Blood and guts cover Phar's body. He lift his right front foot, his drawing boot, to his mouth and licks the blood. This bandito had demon in him, and the demon blood quickly enters Phar's blood stream. His eye's turn blood red and begins growling. His teeth change, forming sharp incisors and canine teeth. He begins eating the downed banditos.
 
"Screw you guys, I'm going home" Farmerk runs the fuck off before he gets eaten or his blood sucked again.
 
His coat turns black with blood red highlights, vocal cords form in his throat. His eyes glow. He has become a Demon Horse.

Two bolt fly from his eyes and hit Farmerk chucks. The chucks start reforming themselves into something like the old farmerk. "Blood Slave I have given you undeath. Now you serve me."
 
I open my eyes in a world of fire and brimstone. Smoke and flames swirl around both sides of the narrow path I stood on. There was a long line of comatose people standing behind me. In front of me was a throne of skulls the size of a large house. I crane my neck and meet eyes with the demon lord himself. "Sinner!" he yelled in a deep growl. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" I explained. I would have went on defending myself but then I started hovering off the ground, a strange white aura surrounding me. A bolt of lightning penetrated my skull and I hit the ground, face to face with Phar
 
"Demon, why bother with the artifact. I suggest we find a baby and make a puppy eat it."

Just then Phar sees his second most hated enemy, MURDER GRASS. This town is full of murder grass.
 
"Murder Grass is grass that murders people if they touch it. It gathers ordinary lead from the soil and transmutes it into Murderium, the pure element of murder. Lucky for you this isn't Double Murder Grass and since you have already been murdered once you are immune to Murderium. So get to gardening." Said Phar as he hoofs Farmerk some gardening gloves.
 
"Well shit..." Farmerk muttered as he donned the Gloves of Gardening. He bent over and, sweet ass waiving around in the air, ripped a handful of Murdergrass from the roots. He stood up and noticed Ron's gaze upon his weiner, which was dangling below the hem of the dress. Farmerk threw the grass at the face of Ron. The grass flew a good half a foot towards it's target before a gust of wind blew the grass away. "Fuck off with the willywatching, broham" Farmerk said as he sat on the ground to clear the rest of the grass.
 
"Make sure you save some of that Murder Grass. I want to feed some orphans Murder Grass soup, you know, for evil. I don't know, am I doing this right? I have only been a Evil Demon Horse for like 12 minutes."
 
Don't look at me, I'm just a recently undead blood slave. Ask my slimeball bastard master Ron, he's been evil pretty much his whole life
 
Phar finds a old cooking pot amongst the ruins of the abandon town. Grabbing the pot with his teeth he fills the pot with some water from a near by stream.

"Farmerk put the murder grass in here and then we can find some orphans"
 
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