Do you think one's own real estate is necessary?

[pennyliu123]

A funny thing in my country (China) is, most of people think a man must have his own real estate (a house or an apartment suit), at least when he gets married, he should have one. This concept used to be fine, as in the past most people were peasants, and the rest people were working for the government, so they will all have some real estate.

But nowadays things have been different. Many young people left their hometown and tried to make a living in the cities, and the government will never more assign free apartment suits for the officials, and the worst thing is, the price of real estate have increased crazily, in big cities like Beijing or Shanghai, the price increased by 20 times or more in past 20 years. So now there is a serious problem in China, many young men who want to get married can't afford a real estate of their own, but the parents (especially the girl's parents) will not allow them to marry the girl that way, so the young men only have 2 options, either try to borrow money to buy an apartment, or just break up with the girl.

Do you think one's own real estate is necessary?

 

[Lanfear]

No. This is a pretty weird concept to me. Plenty of couples where I live rent. It's always good to own property, but hardly a requirement for marriage. It would be awful to meet someone you wanted to spend your life with and never have their parents' blessing because of a lack of money.

I think property costs are becoming prohibitive in many places, though. I intend to keep what property I have in my family and pass it down to the next generation for this reason - because I know from experience that young people are being priced out of the property market. Cost of purchasing property in my country has increased twice as much in the past two decades as the average wage. Ridiculous.

 

[Spacemunkey]

As someone who both rents and owns retirement property, I think it's a good feeling knowing you have something that is yours. I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to own property though, it's something that ties you down to one spot and some don't like that sort of thing.

 

[dopezilla]

Of course, but it shouldn't prevent you from marrying, right? Anyway, I think there's a bit of a culture gap between the west and China. The whole idea does make sense, of course, you don't want your children to marry into poverty. Although I am a happy-go-lucky type of guy who believes money should never stand in the way of love, I will definitely wait until I paid off all my debts before getting married. Mostly because I don't want to involve my GF in that mess too much. Officially, that is, because we live like freaking paupers thanks to me, but at least my debts are all on my name and not hers.

 

[Illuminati Confirmed!]

Definitely so. I wouldn't support my own hypothetical daughter marrying someone without any. Then again, I wouldn't support her marrying someone who's in debt either.

 

[Hassknecht]

I don't think it's necessary, but it's certainly a nice thing to have.

 

[Wepwawet]

It is always nice to OWN real estate. But in these days, instead of owning a house, a house owns you. With astronomical mortgage, you become a slave to the soil you step on. Having a house should not be a pre condition for marriage. It's unjust to deprive two lovers of unity due to wealth status of one party.

 

[pennyliu123]

Definitely so. I wouldn't support my own hypothetical daughter marrying someone without any. Then again, I wouldn't support her marrying someone who's in debt either.

Your attitude seems to be very close to ours. May I ask where are you living and how about the price of real estate in your place? Can the young people afford it?

 

[pennyliu123]

Of course, but it shouldn't prevent you from marrying, right? Anyway, I think there's a bit of a culture gap between the west and China. The whole idea does make sense, of course, you don't want your children to marry into poverty. Although I am a happy-go-lucky type of guy who believes money should never stand in the way of love, I will definitely wait until I paid off all my debts before getting married. Mostly because I don't want to involve my GF in that mess too much. Officially, that is, because we live like freaking paupers thanks to me, but at least my debts are all on my name and not hers.

Yes, I believe that's some culture gap. In China many parents are much more influential to the kids than parents in the west. Some parents in small towns or villages will regard their daughter's marriage as their great chance to improve the whole family's life, and will ask the fiance for a high bride-price, especially when their daughter has a younger brother, who is not likely to afford any kind of real estate. Everyone will think that's greedy, but there are still many parents doing it.

I think rent is fine, if a couple can't afford any real estate, but they can live a decent life and don't have debts, and they love each other, I will think that's a good marriage.

 

[Lanfear]

Your attitude seems to be very close to ours. May I ask where are you living and how about the price of real estate in your place? Can the young people afford it?

Don't think you were replying to me, but just in case, I'm in Australia, and no, most younger people cannot afford to purchase property right now, at least not in any remotely metropolitan area. Your average person here is already in debt for just about all of their life, and with property values and interest rates as they are right now, I don't think someone earning an average wage would be able to pay off a typical home loan in their working lifetime.

 

[pennyliu123]

Don't think you were replying to me, but just in case, I'm in Australia, and no, most younger people cannot afford to purchase property right now, at least not in any remotely metropolitan area. Your average person here is already in debt for just about all of their life, and with property values and interest rates as they are right now, I don't think someone earning an average wage would be able to pay off a typical home loan in their working lifetime.

Oh yes, I quote your reply by mistake! Sorry. However, your opinion and information is very interesting, thanks!

I wonder why in the past few years, it seems the price of property have been rising all around the world. I bought my apartment in 2005, I was only paid 4,000 RMB a month but my apartment costed me only 4,000 RMB for one square meter. Now my income is doubled but I can never buy another apartment at the same building!

 

[pennyliu123]

Definitely so. I wouldn't support my own hypothetical daughter marrying someone without any. Then again, I wouldn't support her marrying someone who's in debt either.

May I ask where are you living and how about the price of real estate in your place? Can the young people afford it?

 

[Illuminati Confirmed!]

May I ask where are you living and how about the price of real estate in your place? Can the young people afford it?

Istria, Croatia.

I don't think so, they don't even think about it. All the natives end up inheriting some land from their family, and all the newcomers either came here from abroad and can afford it or are looking to go work and study abroad, mostly in Germany.

Building a house on said land is usually expensive, but I've seen some of those low-quality wood-ish american-style houses pop up recently, they're probably cheap but I don't think they last long either.

A two room apartment in town costs anything from 50 000 to 150 000 euros or more, depending on the location.

 

[AskWazzup]

......So now there is a serious problem in China, many young men who want to get married can't afford a real estate of their own, but the parents (especially the girl's parents) will not allow them to marry the girl that way, so the young men only have 2 options, either try to borrow money to buy an apartment, or just break up with the girl.

 

[pennyliu123]

Sorry but youtube is blocked in China, can you post the link so that I can try to view it via some special browser?

 

[AskWazzup]

Sorry but youtube is blocked in China, can you post the link so that I can try to view it via some special browser?

Ah, yes, it's so natural for me that i totally forgot that it's blocked in china:

w w w.youtube.com/watch?v=qNQ2kV1OTPU

I had to put spaces between the 'w' letters, as this forum automatically tries to show the video, instead of the actual link. This is just some humor i find in marriage, nothing serious that you will miss out on, if you can't play it.

 

[Illuminati Confirmed!]

How does this make marriage a scam?

Just because people waste excessive amounts of money on getting married doesn't make marriage a scam, it makes the aforementioned people morons.

Besides, lots of those excesses aren't even a thing outside the anglosphere. I haven't seen anyone rent a suit all my life, the best man didn't tell any embarrassing stories on any wedding I attended, and the wedding cakes were just normal cakes.

Sorry if I'm somewhat defensive of the institution, but I get pissed off by the whole "marriage-is-an-outdated-institution-embrace-free-love" bullshit hippie agenda which seems to be behind such stuff.

 

[pennyliu123]

Ah, yes, it's so natural for me that i totally forgot that it's blocked in china:

w w w.youtube.com/watch?v=qNQ2kV1OTPU

I had to put spaces between the 'w' letters, as this forum automatically tries to show the video, instead of the actual link. This is just some humor i find in marriage, nothing serious that you will miss out on, if you can't play it.

Thanks! I will try to take a look at it. Many Chinese know some method to get accessed to the blocked websites, but the speed of network is not stable.

 

[Lanfear]

The wedding industry is absolutely ridiculous. Going tens of thousands of dollars into debt for something that's over in a few hours, what an awesome first act as a married couple! But, you don't actually need to bother with any of this crap to get married if you don't want to, most people just feel socially pressured into doing so.

 

[AskWazzup]

How does this make marriage a scam?

Just because people waste excessive amounts of money on getting married doesn't make marriage a scam, it makes the aforementioned people morons.

Besides, lots of those excesses aren't even a thing outside the anglosphere. I haven't seen anyone rent a suit all my life, the best man didn't tell any embarrassing stories on any wedding I attended, and the wedding cakes were just normal cakes.

Sorry if I'm somewhat defensive of the institution, but I get pissed off by the whole "marriage-is-an-outdated-institution-embrace-free-love" bullshit hippie agenda which seems to be behind such stuff.

It's just some light satire that has some truth to it, they have a bunch of these videos about a wide array of stuff.

I find marriage a bit silly, but if people find good in that and it works out, why not?