Doom- the movie?

welsh

welsh

Junkmaster
Anyone off to see the new Doom flick?

If so- the web page-
http://www.doommovie.com/

The story we know-
Something has gone wrong at a remote scientific research station on Mars. All research has ceased. Communication has failed. And the messages that do get through are less than comforting. It's a level 5 quarantine, and the only souls allowed in or out are the Rapid Response Tactical Squad - hardened Marines armed to the teeth with enough firepower to neutralize any enemy...or so they think. The research being done at Olduvai station has unwittingly opened a door, and all hell has broken loose. A legion of nightmarish creatures of unknown origin lurks behind every wall and stalks the countless rooms and tunnels of the facility, killing what few people remain. Sealing off the portal to Earth, Sarge, Reaper and their team must use every weapon at their disposal - and some they find along the way - to carry out their orders: nothing gets out alive.
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A great game- but as a movie?

Says Ebert-

"Doom" has one great shot. It comes right at the beginning. It's the Universal logo. Instead of a spinning Earth with the letters U-N-I-V-E-R-S-A-L rising in the east and centering themselves over Lebanon, Kan., we see the red planet Mars. Then we fly closer to Mars until we see surface details and finally the Olduvai Research Station, helpfully described on the movie's Web site as "a remote scientific facility on Mars" ... where, if you give it but a moment's thought, all of the scientific facilities are remote.

Anyway, that's the last we see of the surface of Mars. A lot of readers thought I was crazy for liking "Ghosts of Mars" (2001) and "Red Planet" (2000) and "Total Recall" (1990), but blast it all, at least in those movies, you get to see Mars. I'm a science fiction fan from way back. I go to Mars, I expect to see it. Watching "Doom" is like visiting Vegas and never leaving your hotel room.
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Actually I was not unsympathetic to Ghosts of Mars (although it seemed to me like a remake of Assault of Precinct 13) and I liked Total Recall quite a bit.

Red Planet- didn't see it. Any good?

The movie has been "inspired by" the famous video game. No, I haven't played it, and I never will, but I know how it feels not to play it, because I've seen the movie. "Doom" is like some kid came over and is using your computer and won't let you play.
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Unfortunate. It was a great game.

Love that Chainsaw.

The movie involves a group of Marines named the Rapid Response Tactical Squad, which if they would only take the slightest trouble could be renamed the Rapid Action Tactical Squad, which would acronym into RATS. The year is 2046. In the middle of an American desert has been discovered a portal to an ancient city on Mars. The Olduvai facility has been established to study it, and now there is a Breech of Level 5 Security, and the RRTS are sent to Mars through the portal to take care of business. Their leader is Sarge (The Rock), and their members include Reaper (Karl Urban), Destroyer (Deobia Oparei), Mac (Yao Chin), Goat (Ben Daniels), Duke (Razaaq Adoti), Portman (Richard Brake) and The Kid (Al Weaver). Now you know everything you need to know about them.

On Mars, we see terrified humans running from an unseen threat. Dr. Carmack (Robert Russell) closes an automatic steel door on a young woman whose arm is onscreen longer than she is, if you get my drift, and then he spends a lot of time huddled in the corner vibrating and whimpering. We meet Samantha Grimm (Rosamund Pike), sister of Reaper (a k a John Grimm). She is an anthropologist at the station, and has reconstructed a complete skeleton of a humanoid Martian woman huddled protectively over her child. If you know your anthropology, you gotta say those are bones that have survived a lot of geological activity.

The original Martians were not merely humanoid, Dr. Grimm speculates, but super-human: They bio-engineered a 24th chromosome. We have 23. The extra chromosome made them super smart, super strong, super fast, and super quick to heal. But it turned some of them into monsters, which is presumably why the others built the portal to earth, where - what? They became us, but left the 24th chromosome behind? Is that the kind of Intelligent Design we want our kids studying?
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Yes but wouldn't that be a kick? We could study Doom and the Flying Spaghetti Monster in Kansas.
Beats boring old Biology.

Despite all of her chromosome counting, Dr. Grimm says at another point, "Ten percent of the human genome has not yet been mapped. Some say it's the soul." Whoa! The Human Genome Project was completed in 2003, something you would think a scientist like Dr. Grimm should know. I am reminded of the astronauts in "Stealth" reminding each other what a prime number is.

The monsters are still there on Mars. They are big mothers and must have awesome daily caloric requirements. How they survive, how they breathe earth atmosphere in the station and what, as carnivores, they eat and drink -- I think we can all agree these are questions deserving serious scientific study.
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But in Doom, didn't the monsters come from Hell?

Meanwhile, their pastime is chasing humans, grabbing them, smashing them, eviscerating and disemboweling them, pulling them through grates, and in general doing anything that can take place obscurely in shadows and not require a lot of special effects.

Toward the end of the movie, there is a lengthy point-of-view shot looking forward over the barrel of a large weapon as it tracks the corridors of the research station. Monsters jump out from behind things and are blasted to death, in a sequence that abandons all attempts at character and dialogue and uncannily resembles a video game. Later, when the names of the actors appear on the screen, they are also blasted into little pieces. I forget whether the director, Andrzej Bartkowiak, had his name shot to smithereens, but for the DVD, I recommend that a monster grab it and eat it.
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Given the choice of playing a video game or watching someone play a video game- which would you choose?
 
Actually, I don't think this movie is going to be that good. Only a few game-based movie is really neat, in my opinion that is.

Oh, btw, almost forgot to say 'hi' :)
 
The problem with Rotten Tomatoes is that it's often completely arbitrary whether a review counts as "good" or "bad". F'rinstance, one of the Doom reviews sums it up as "the most cleverly engineered video-game movie made to date" and contains nothing explicitly negative, yet RT decided it's a negative review.
 
Even better news, since The Crock's career has officially gone down the shitter since the DOOM movie, wait for the next brainless action flick that makes Ahhhnold seem like he has a complex personality - Spy Hunter. Directed by Jon Woo, it promises to be even shittier than M:I2. Speaking of which, guess which asswipe is going to direct a movie version of He-Man? So instead of a modern Arthurian-style story set in an alternate universe, it will be changed into gay wire dancing and incessant explosions, and He-Man and Skeletor will get into a shooting match as they jump off of walls and the ceiling now (OMG new spechul effectsorz!) until they both end up with their guns to each other's head and an empty click is heard for both of them, and then it gets to the HtH asswhipping...fuck, it's getting too easy to write for Woo lately.

Also, someone should have told the casting crew of Johnny Bravo that Johnny is white. I thought Johnny was a goofy white boy bodybuilder that sounded a bit like Elvis, but I can guess he's now just going to sound like an African-Samoan with Down's Syndrome. Great, now we get to see The Rock act and sound mildly retarded while wearing shades.

Oh, wait...just like every one of his other movies. Joy.
 
So you're saying it will just be The Rock acting in the role he wanted to get, but since they already had actors for White Chicks, he just went for White Boy? :D
 
I think its pretty neat to watch down the barrel of a gun. I can't wait to see a chainsaw in first person. I don't mind watching people play video games. I'll probably acquire it one way or another and let you guys know how it was.
 
Also, someone should have told the casting crew of Johnny Bravo that Johnny is white. I thought Johnny was a goofy white boy bodybuilder that sounded a bit like Elvis, but I can guess he's now just going to sound like an African-Samoan with Down's Syndrome. Great, now we get to see The Rock act and sound mildly retarded while wearing shades.
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The Rock?! Will they provide a special J.B.-wig for him?
 
The Rock in Doom movie -> mildly entertaining


The Rock as Johnny Bravo -> Bad idea®

Also, dude, your name is Dwayne, ain't no amount of Rock gonna change that.
 
MadDog said:
...I can't wait to see a chainsaw in first person. I don't mind watching people play video games. I'll probably acquire it one way or another and let you guys know how it was.
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So who do you plan to kill?

:? ,
The Vault Dweller
 
I vote for Uwe Boll.

And on a side-note, looks like I enjoy watching crappy films. A relax for the brain.
 
Do not get me wrong, however. I am a harsh critic, but there is a difference between Entertainment and a good movie. A good movie will stick for ages. A mediocre action flick will only be viewable once every decade, but may be enjoyable for certain audiences depending upon presentation style.

Bad movies have a certain charm of their own, probably because there is (though rarely) some spark of insane genius within them, somewhere.

In Uwe Boll's case, however, even Ed Wood had SOME creative genius. Uwe Boll is just talentless.
 
Harsh critic yes, harsh languaged too. And, which is rare, you speak with sense, mr Deathclaw.

You must admit though, that they are a good mind relaxer (if I want a mind challenge, I'd go over The Wall film again).
 
I once stated that I would strangle babies to keep Hugh Jackman out of a certain movie. And most movies.

The things I would do to babies to keep Uwe Boll out of films... I'm not sure if it is legal to speak of it.
 
I watched Doom last night and I would have to rate it as one of the best video game movies yet. That's not saying much , but it's allright. The First-person part of the movie actually kicked ass,the music rocked, and the acting wasn't horrible. I give it a 3 out of 5.
 
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