The Vault Dweller

Heyp, I just finished your recount on religion and religious people in your life. You seem to have had quite a ride with it, both good but also bad such as bigotry and intolerance.
I want to respond on it but I need to think of how to do that first, these last few months my response time, especially in English is starting to take longer and longer, much to my chagrin.
I am not sure how I would classify myself, I used to say Agnostic (I just don't know) but lately it seems to has become 'reluctant atheist' which in a sense troubles me as I would rather live with hope, even if I can not back it up.