Ben Soto
Professional Salt Shaker
I just realized how stupid Fallout 2's plot is.
Now, before you strap me to a stick and roast me in sacrifice to the great and powerful Black Isle, here me out. As always, you are free to have your own opinion. In mine, however, the entire premise of Fallout 2 is a total failure.
For those who don't know (spoilers ahead) the basic plot of Fallout 2 is “your village, Arroyo (founded by former citizens of Vault 13) is dying. Go find a G.E.C.K. in Vault 13.” Now, this sounds pretty easy, right? No. Your quest will take you all across the Core Region on a wild goose chase to find this damn thing, only to have your quest become a quest for vengeance when the Enclave decides to kidnap your entire village because… evil?
Now, let's focus on the really stupid bit: your starting quest. Find the G.E.C.K. Sounds simple, right? I mean, Vault 13 is, to the people of Arroyo, the holiest of holy places. Surely, somebody in your village knows where it is, right?
NOPE! Nobody knows where the damn place is. But, eh, I guess you could forget where your holy city is, right? I mean, it's been eighty years! But, surely, somebody decided to draw a map back to the place? It's a giant stash of powerful technology (case and point, the G.E.C.K.) It seems appropriate that somebody would think “Hey, we have all this cool stuff back there, surely we'll need to go back there at SOME point?”
NOPE! Nobody bothered to even make note of the general direction they came from, much less the exact location! Okay, that's unfortunate, but wait! We've got the Vault Dweller's Pipboy! He's got a map of the entire southern Core Region, including the exact location of Vault 13! I'll just load up the map and…
NOPE! For some reason I can't explain, nobody bothered to take good care of this holy artifact, meaning that the memory module went corrupt. Now, we have no map. Great… Alright, so nobody knows where the damn place is. Hell, even Vault 8, one of the most advanced vaults built (if I recall correctly) doesn't have the location stored. Just great…
Alright. We've resigned ourselves to going on a wild goose chase. That sucks, but it's not impossible to do. Now, since we've got no clue where to go and no knowledge of what's beyond our village, surely they'll give me the absolute best equipment possible! Even if it's not very good, at least some basic leather armor and a pipe rifle would be great! Right?
NOPE! You get a spear and a jumpsuit. Want a better spear? You've got to CONVINCE your AUNT to give you some flint for what amounts to a very marginal increase in power, and you're not guaranteed success. You're telling me that my aunt is so self-absorbed she's willing to let me die and, by extension, let the village die instead of doing something nice for me? Speech checks, usually, are smart. This one, by comparison, is so damn stupid it's a wonder this got past QA.
No. NO. That's not how ANYONE would act, unless they were truly the most IDIOTIC people in the wasteland. In that case, why not kick out the idiots so we can save some resources? That actually leads me to another point; if they can't give me anything better than a freaking SPEAR, even if my character shows no competence in melee fighting, then they could AT LEAST give me a number advantages, right? Send some hunters or fighters or somebody with me to give me a bigger chance of survival. SOMEBODY. ANYBODY.
NOPE! I'm sent, alone, with nothing more than a bright blue spandex jumpsuit and a spear, on a wild goose chase on which I've no clue where to go. My village could DIE and I'm supposed to save them all, SINGLE-HANDEDL. No. That's… That's the definition of moronic. What's the combined IQ of this village? 75? They're the biggest of Darwin defiers since Megaton. No, actually, that's an insult to Megaton. At least they're smart enough to fortify their city, purify water on a large scale, and reprogram advanced AI to guard their homes. What the hell has Arroyo done? Kill a few geckos and built a temple to judge their leaders by their ability to stab a few ants. Yes, from I can tell based on dialogue with the villagers of Arroyo, they use the Temple of Trials to judge their leaders. BASED ON THEIR ABILITY TO STAB ANTS. How primitive have we gotten? This is ridiculous!
You know, screw this. Arroyo can die for all I care. I'm going to Reno.
Now, before you strap me to a stick and roast me in sacrifice to the great and powerful Black Isle, here me out. As always, you are free to have your own opinion. In mine, however, the entire premise of Fallout 2 is a total failure.
For those who don't know (spoilers ahead) the basic plot of Fallout 2 is “your village, Arroyo (founded by former citizens of Vault 13) is dying. Go find a G.E.C.K. in Vault 13.” Now, this sounds pretty easy, right? No. Your quest will take you all across the Core Region on a wild goose chase to find this damn thing, only to have your quest become a quest for vengeance when the Enclave decides to kidnap your entire village because… evil?
Now, let's focus on the really stupid bit: your starting quest. Find the G.E.C.K. Sounds simple, right? I mean, Vault 13 is, to the people of Arroyo, the holiest of holy places. Surely, somebody in your village knows where it is, right?
NOPE! Nobody knows where the damn place is. But, eh, I guess you could forget where your holy city is, right? I mean, it's been eighty years! But, surely, somebody decided to draw a map back to the place? It's a giant stash of powerful technology (case and point, the G.E.C.K.) It seems appropriate that somebody would think “Hey, we have all this cool stuff back there, surely we'll need to go back there at SOME point?”
NOPE! Nobody bothered to even make note of the general direction they came from, much less the exact location! Okay, that's unfortunate, but wait! We've got the Vault Dweller's Pipboy! He's got a map of the entire southern Core Region, including the exact location of Vault 13! I'll just load up the map and…
NOPE! For some reason I can't explain, nobody bothered to take good care of this holy artifact, meaning that the memory module went corrupt. Now, we have no map. Great… Alright, so nobody knows where the damn place is. Hell, even Vault 8, one of the most advanced vaults built (if I recall correctly) doesn't have the location stored. Just great…
Alright. We've resigned ourselves to going on a wild goose chase. That sucks, but it's not impossible to do. Now, since we've got no clue where to go and no knowledge of what's beyond our village, surely they'll give me the absolute best equipment possible! Even if it's not very good, at least some basic leather armor and a pipe rifle would be great! Right?
NOPE! You get a spear and a jumpsuit. Want a better spear? You've got to CONVINCE your AUNT to give you some flint for what amounts to a very marginal increase in power, and you're not guaranteed success. You're telling me that my aunt is so self-absorbed she's willing to let me die and, by extension, let the village die instead of doing something nice for me? Speech checks, usually, are smart. This one, by comparison, is so damn stupid it's a wonder this got past QA.
No. NO. That's not how ANYONE would act, unless they were truly the most IDIOTIC people in the wasteland. In that case, why not kick out the idiots so we can save some resources? That actually leads me to another point; if they can't give me anything better than a freaking SPEAR, even if my character shows no competence in melee fighting, then they could AT LEAST give me a number advantages, right? Send some hunters or fighters or somebody with me to give me a bigger chance of survival. SOMEBODY. ANYBODY.
NOPE! I'm sent, alone, with nothing more than a bright blue spandex jumpsuit and a spear, on a wild goose chase on which I've no clue where to go. My village could DIE and I'm supposed to save them all, SINGLE-HANDEDL. No. That's… That's the definition of moronic. What's the combined IQ of this village? 75? They're the biggest of Darwin defiers since Megaton. No, actually, that's an insult to Megaton. At least they're smart enough to fortify their city, purify water on a large scale, and reprogram advanced AI to guard their homes. What the hell has Arroyo done? Kill a few geckos and built a temple to judge their leaders by their ability to stab a few ants. Yes, from I can tell based on dialogue with the villagers of Arroyo, they use the Temple of Trials to judge their leaders. BASED ON THEIR ABILITY TO STAB ANTS. How primitive have we gotten? This is ridiculous!
You know, screw this. Arroyo can die for all I care. I'm going to Reno.