Fallout 5 shitpost thread with a stupid title

Discussion in 'Future Fallout Game Discussion' started by SarcasticGoodGuy, Sep 19, 2016.

  1. SarcasticGoodGuy

    SarcasticGoodGuy *R O T T E N*

    Aug 31, 2016
    It's been nearly a year since Toddie blessed us with the best RPG since Skyrim, and as the set of DLC has (unfortunately) finished, I think it's a time to look forward for the future of Bethesda's wasteland series.

    Here is my: Fallout 5 speculation.

    Fallout 5 : quests in New York

    The Plot:
    You're living peacefully in Vault 3012 until the air conditioning breaks. What seems like a simple problem develops into something much more when all of the generic Vault dweller NPCs start commenting on how stuffy it is- and your uncle goes missing. And so starts your journey - to find the parts to craft a new air conditioning system. As you emerge from the Vault you encounter 3 members of rival factions fighting. These 3 factions are the "New New York Republic", the "Bad Guy Legion" and "Dr. Hotel's radiant squad." I'm no writer but I bet Emil could make them into the deep, complex, riveting grey factions that were in Fallout 4. Mid way through the game you find your uncle voiced by Tom Cruise and he sacrifices himself to set off a giant bomb to kill all super mutants. At the end of the game you fix your vault's AC with the help of one of the factions, but then have to kill the rest of the other two factions (all 600 previously essential NPCs!! It will be a hard fight, make sure to bring your gun!!! Don't! Leave it! At!! Home!!!!!!!!!!) There is, however, a peaceful option- that only requires committing mass genocide on one of the factions to scare away the other 1.

    The graphics:
    They will be acceptable for a Bethesda game. It will use the Gamebryo engine (hey Diamond City was an actual city, and it was very impressive).

    Gameplay:
    Here are where risks are taken. There is only one gun, the "pipe assault rifle" which was a prototype survivalist gun created before the war by the Brotherhood of Steel (who aren't a main faction because Bethesda games never reuse plots). Settlements are included, and because NY is a big place there are no settlements already built- you have to do it yourself. Vehicles will be included much like the Automatron robots, and you can modify each one.

    edit:
    Customization:
    There are no skills or traits. And SPECIAL has been reduced to SLS (stamina, looting, shooting). But there are 340 new hairstyles to accommodate for this. And your robot butler can say up to 5600 names, including but not limited to : Paul, Fucker, Toddboi, Hillary, Semen, Large black man that likes to penetrate middle aged caucasian females, M'aiq, Emil, Petey, CT Phillips and Saracastic plastic.

    DLC:
    Deceased Currency - initiate a heist with 3 other sarcastic good guys to steal ammunition to shoot things with $24.99
    Call of Zion : Tribal Warfare - have a big fight with lots of raiders $3.99
    Old World Furniture - unlock pre-war furniture items $19.99
    Fun Runner's Arsenal - different decorations for your guns and paddle balls $9.99


    What do you guys think? If you want more speculation comment below and ask for ideas. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I understand the Fallout franchise and am amazing at speculation (this one time my friend rolled a dice and I said "yo dude I bet it will land on a 5" but it didn't so I went "well next time it will land on a 5" and it did so I was like "yeah!" - OK this part was a lie I don't really have friends ;()

    @CT Phillips liked that
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2016
    • [Like] [Like] x 8
  2. DirtyOldShoe

    DirtyOldShoe Some kind of lucky

    Dec 15, 2015
    @Emil Hated that.
    Where is the parent child connection? I'm confused.:aiee:
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 2
  3. SarcasticGoodGuy

    SarcasticGoodGuy *R O T T E N*

    Aug 31, 2016
    You have to craft a child at settlements. Using a perk you gain from picking locks in the vicinity of women.
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 5
  4. DirtyOldShoe

    DirtyOldShoe Some kind of lucky

    Dec 15, 2015
    Fallout Alchemy

    Ingredients to making Fallout
    Parent/Child
    Settlement managment
    BOS
    Nuka Cola everywhere
    50s
    Picking locks
    Terminals
    Shootin' stuff
    Games within games within games that all do the same thing
    Butcher Pete
    Fallout 4
    Bethesda
    Dogmeat
    Ghoul
    Super mutant
    Corvega
    Raiders
    Fatman
    Perks
    Add additional keywords where suited.
    Do not add substance.
    Do not add Skills
    Do not Add traits
    Do not add reputation
    Do not add karma
    Do not add requirements
    Do not add checks
    Put in bag
    Drop on top of Skyrim Engine or ES6 Engine

    Fallout 3 3 aka Fallout 5
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 3
  5. CT Phipps

    CT Phipps Venerable Relic of the Wastes

    Sep 17, 2016
    Weirdly, I would hate the idea of playing in New York and pray Bethesda doesn't do that.

    Albeit, Statue of Liberty town could be cool.
     
  6. TheChosen1

    TheChosen1 Moving Target

    Nov 8, 2012
    I mean, you want an Enclave Moonbase, so I don't think your opinion is too important :roll:
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 4
  7. CT Phipps

    CT Phipps Venerable Relic of the Wastes

    Sep 17, 2016
    I'll be laughing at you from my sweet-sweet Moonpad.
     
  8. CerberusGate

    CerberusGate I should save my game in a whole new slot

    Jun 6, 2016
    I imagine that Fallout 5 won't even have any of that. I imagine Bethesda will simply sell boxes with the label Fallout 5 on it. Inside is a big red button with a USB cable in it.

    Once you plug it in, it reveals a single installation file. Installing it reveals the title screen of Fallout 5 that tells you to press the button.

    Once you do, the screen changes to the credits and the final words are "Congratulations for winning Fallout 5! Send us money now so that we can start making Fallout 6: Empty Box!"

    Yeah, you can stay up there while the grown ups consider the natural progression of Fallout under Bethesda.
     
  9. R.Graves

    R.Graves Confirmed Retard

    Apr 21, 2016
    Ugh fallout 5? Do we really even want a fifth one? Especially considering this series is more than half garbage at this point...
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 1
  10. CerberusGate

    CerberusGate I should save my game in a whole new slot

    Jun 6, 2016
    We all know it's coming... At this moment in a dark dreary basement, Emil, Todd and Pete are conducting some eldritch ritual to create an even worse Fallout game that would overshadow Fallout PoS.
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 2
  11. SarcasticGoodGuy

    SarcasticGoodGuy *R O T T E N*

    Aug 31, 2016
    So Fallout 4 again ;) ?
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 1
  12. CerberusGate

    CerberusGate I should save my game in a whole new slot

    Jun 6, 2016
    Far worse. If we thought 4 was bad, 5 might be the one that even the Bethesdrones may come to hate.
     
  13. SarcasticGoodGuy

    SarcasticGoodGuy *R O T T E N*

    Aug 31, 2016
    Nah. Bethesda are gudddd.
    u need 2 luk at them from another angle
    they wear navarrr about graficks
    you can roleplay gudddd, u cant in the witcher 3
    durrr
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 1
  14. Risewild

    Risewild Venerable Relic of the Wastes
    Modder Orderite

    Jun 14, 2014
    Fallout 5 will actually be called:
    FALLOUT
    All capitals there. That is my prediction :nod:.
     
  15. CerberusGate

    CerberusGate I should save my game in a whole new slot

    Jun 6, 2016
  16. SarcasticGoodGuy

    SarcasticGoodGuy *R O T T E N*

    Aug 31, 2016
  17. CerberusGate

    CerberusGate I should save my game in a whole new slot

    Jun 6, 2016
    I made it up. The picture isn't mine though which is why there are not as many options as there should be.