Hey there, it's your one and only Beth Fallout Troll!
The next lines are from a friend of mine (Alex) that is a big Fallout fan but would not post on forums. He prefers to work for money or play instead of wasting time. Hope you enjoy it:
Top 10 Funny Things I Would Like To See In Fallout 3
Since Fallout 3 seems completely void of the funny and sometimes over the top things that made Fallout 1 and 2 famous I propose to Bethesda to start working on an extended edition to put some fun in the game. The game mechanics are already in place, most of them require very little work from the dev team. And if you don’t want to spend any of the $200mil the game already brought you on this, who knows maybe the programmers would like to be working on this in their free time (just kidding, no serious programmer would do this, I know I am one too )
1. I’ve opened dozens of stall doors already in the vane hope I get to surprise at least one super mutant taking a crapper. Wouldn’t it be so fun to kill them with their pants down? And maybe have a counter for this as well?
2. There is so much garbage lying around everywhere. I’d very much like to be able to start my own garbage disposal company. Just think of all the glass, paper and tin that could be recycled. Much more fun getting money this way than by simply looting people that I killed (as I did in a thousand games before)?
3. Also have you noticed how much dirt you implemented in the bathrooms? Wouldn’t it be cool to clean up a toilet with detergent before drinking from it? It might reduce some of the radiation. The only place in the game I really would have liked to take a piss was in Tenpenny Tower. Along the same line all walls seem to need a new coat of paint. There are more paint guns in the game than people. It would be fun to use a paint gun on a wall to make it nice. Or at least, do some graffiti, those raider paintings are ugly as hell.
4. I would really love to have an intelligent conversation with at least one mutant/death claw/miralurker. After all they are not mindless beasts.
5. I would also like to be able to reason with at least some of the raiders. For instance, mezz them and then make them behave peacefully and maybe join a town or something. God knows, the population is already thin enough, I really don’t like wasting any more DNA material.
6. What about becoming fat from all the food we need to eat? I mean we need to swallow 40 portions to completely heal. If I were to eat 40 meals at a time in real live I’d become a 200kg blob monster. Have some side effect like moving slowly or losing agility implemented. And if you are at it please vary the effects as well. Having 20 sorts of food with the same effect is just inventory clutter. Not funny!
7. What about some stupid repetitive task that gains you a valuable perk? Think about the dirt shoveling in Fallout 2. Killing stuff is glamorous but kids nowadays need to be reminded that hard work also is rewarded.
8. Speaking of kids, I know killing them is not allowed. But how about spanking them? Especially in Little Lamplight there were some specimens in need of some serious spanking. I really don’t care about karma losses, it would be so gratifying to see them crying.
9. Put some funny epitaphs on the tombstones in Arlington cemetery. Having a huge field filled with rows and rows of them without any meaning is just waste of space.
10. Last but not least, I would really love to meet all of the game developers in the Bethesda Studio. And have them talk about the game, how hard it was to work on it, maybe some intra-office humor, you know, getting to know the people behind the game. Maybe as ghouls to justify the long time span? (And being able to kill every one of them for making a mindless shooter instead of a mind-challenging RPG would be such a glorious experience. Oh yeah!)
At the end a special request. Adult content warning: If you are under 18 stop reading and go play with your in-game toy cars and teddy bears. If you are over 18 and a mormon or otherwise sexually impaired stop reading and go pray or see your therapist.
I would really want to get laid. Like for real as in Fallout 2. And maybe implement some deviant sex as well. Again, like in Fallout 2. Make a limited, adult only edition or something if you are worried about ratings, I don’t care. Just put the sex back in the game. So many hot chicks in the game, so little love. And give out some perk or temporary skill increases or something. Make it meaningful.
OPTIONAL: Being able to watch the scene in 3D and record it. Then being to post it on youtube. I realize it’s a bit much but come on you can afford it.
The next lines are from a friend of mine (Alex) that is a big Fallout fan but would not post on forums. He prefers to work for money or play instead of wasting time. Hope you enjoy it:
Top 10 Funny Things I Would Like To See In Fallout 3
Since Fallout 3 seems completely void of the funny and sometimes over the top things that made Fallout 1 and 2 famous I propose to Bethesda to start working on an extended edition to put some fun in the game. The game mechanics are already in place, most of them require very little work from the dev team. And if you don’t want to spend any of the $200mil the game already brought you on this, who knows maybe the programmers would like to be working on this in their free time (just kidding, no serious programmer would do this, I know I am one too )
1. I’ve opened dozens of stall doors already in the vane hope I get to surprise at least one super mutant taking a crapper. Wouldn’t it be so fun to kill them with their pants down? And maybe have a counter for this as well?
2. There is so much garbage lying around everywhere. I’d very much like to be able to start my own garbage disposal company. Just think of all the glass, paper and tin that could be recycled. Much more fun getting money this way than by simply looting people that I killed (as I did in a thousand games before)?
3. Also have you noticed how much dirt you implemented in the bathrooms? Wouldn’t it be cool to clean up a toilet with detergent before drinking from it? It might reduce some of the radiation. The only place in the game I really would have liked to take a piss was in Tenpenny Tower. Along the same line all walls seem to need a new coat of paint. There are more paint guns in the game than people. It would be fun to use a paint gun on a wall to make it nice. Or at least, do some graffiti, those raider paintings are ugly as hell.
4. I would really love to have an intelligent conversation with at least one mutant/death claw/miralurker. After all they are not mindless beasts.
5. I would also like to be able to reason with at least some of the raiders. For instance, mezz them and then make them behave peacefully and maybe join a town or something. God knows, the population is already thin enough, I really don’t like wasting any more DNA material.
6. What about becoming fat from all the food we need to eat? I mean we need to swallow 40 portions to completely heal. If I were to eat 40 meals at a time in real live I’d become a 200kg blob monster. Have some side effect like moving slowly or losing agility implemented. And if you are at it please vary the effects as well. Having 20 sorts of food with the same effect is just inventory clutter. Not funny!
7. What about some stupid repetitive task that gains you a valuable perk? Think about the dirt shoveling in Fallout 2. Killing stuff is glamorous but kids nowadays need to be reminded that hard work also is rewarded.
8. Speaking of kids, I know killing them is not allowed. But how about spanking them? Especially in Little Lamplight there were some specimens in need of some serious spanking. I really don’t care about karma losses, it would be so gratifying to see them crying.
9. Put some funny epitaphs on the tombstones in Arlington cemetery. Having a huge field filled with rows and rows of them without any meaning is just waste of space.
10. Last but not least, I would really love to meet all of the game developers in the Bethesda Studio. And have them talk about the game, how hard it was to work on it, maybe some intra-office humor, you know, getting to know the people behind the game. Maybe as ghouls to justify the long time span? (And being able to kill every one of them for making a mindless shooter instead of a mind-challenging RPG would be such a glorious experience. Oh yeah!)
At the end a special request. Adult content warning: If you are under 18 stop reading and go play with your in-game toy cars and teddy bears. If you are over 18 and a mormon or otherwise sexually impaired stop reading and go pray or see your therapist.
I would really want to get laid. Like for real as in Fallout 2. And maybe implement some deviant sex as well. Again, like in Fallout 2. Make a limited, adult only edition or something if you are worried about ratings, I don’t care. Just put the sex back in the game. So many hot chicks in the game, so little love. And give out some perk or temporary skill increases or something. Make it meaningful.
OPTIONAL: Being able to watch the scene in 3D and record it. Then being to post it on youtube. I realize it’s a bit much but come on you can afford it.
