His and Her College Writing Theme Paper

The Vault Dweller

always looking for water.
Read this today around the web.

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THE COLLEGE THEME PAPER: HE VS. SHE

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American
University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. one of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

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STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
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(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."

But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
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(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
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(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.

The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
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(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
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(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
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(Rebecca)
As*hole.
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(Gary)
B*tch.
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(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
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(Gary)
Go drink some tea - wh*re.
**********************************************
(Teacher)
A+ - I really liked this one.

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Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
 
I recall doing something similar back in High School...

It ended with Care Bears being shot in the faces and I threatening everyone's lives if the farce didn't come to an abrupt end.
 
the chick did it to herself tbh... come on, did she really expect a guy to take that stuff seriously?

but the setup itself is bullshit of course, males & females write just fine together. all the play-by-post RP games we've had here & are available on many other sites pretty much prove that. :)

tl;dr: funny but bullshit.
 
I think that she couldn't write it seriously - it just sounds like a very bad parody of woman.
 
SuAside said:
but the setup itself is bullshit of course, males & females write just fine together. all the play-by-post RP games we've had here & are available on many other sites pretty much prove that. :)

There aren't any females below the weight of 300 kg capable of doing this.
 
The Overseer said:
There aren't any females below the weight of 300 kg capable of doing this.
bullocks :)

at least you couldve said: "THAR R NO WOMINZ ON TEH INTERNATZ!"
 
You're kidding me, right?

I don't know about your town in Polarbearistan, most females I know use 'Teh Interwebs' on a regular basis.
 
K. Most girls I meet are bratty whores, so they don't really have many computer skills.
 
This has to be one of the best things I have ever read, But seriously this just shows a total lack of communication between the two of them, I am looking forward to the secual "The passion - A guide to romance in a world devastated by cylon nuclear devices" by Ass hole an Bitch
 
Pure comedy gold. I love reading stuff like this. So easy to empathise with the frustrated guy.
 
So easy to empathise with the frustrated guy.
I hear you man! Chamomile? Please! As far as I know that stuff is used to clean up the eyes of puppies or kittens when they get an infection... I'd like it if the second story would be started by Asshole :))
 
The Overseer said:
K. Most girls I meet are bratty whores, so they don't really have many computer skills.

That much is obvious.

The thing that I think most will agree with is that finding a girl that can strip down a computer and put it back together over two hours to rout out a hardware problem is a rare thing to find, and finding one that is visually pleasing and at the same time doesn't have enough emotional baggage to land her a no flight status is so rare if someone does find one they need to but a lotto ticket right then and there and mail it to me :P

I just find ones that are nice emotionally and visually and teach them to game and deal with dating a bad gamer. I am not a sore looser at all so I just don't tell her I am letting her win :D

ANYWAY....

Good article
 
Yes, it is fake and not particularly well conceived. I guess it wouldn't survive if it was more subtle.

The dimmest bratty girls are enthusiastic users of social networking sites, among others.

I had to write a poem for English class at about age 14. I forget the exact instructions, but I think the topic was friends. The stuff other people were writing was rather sickening. Care bears fun. I am not a big fan of poetry either. I found it mildly amusing when the teacher said mine was depressing. As surprising as it may seem, I never went through an angsty/rebellious teenager stage, had plenty of friends, and am always happy.

mini-me said:
PACKS OF FOOLS
People in their social groups,
like clans and tribes of an age long gone.
To them belonging is what is true.
To me they are a pack of gullible fools.
They seem to speak a strange tongue,
but really it’s just Aussie slang.
All they want is common fun,
perfection, protection and reflection of friends,
ideally identical with no opinion of their own.
But how am I supposed to know,
just another face watching all.
 
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