Mankind has seen many scams throughout its history. Fake insurance agencies, Faith healings, Astrology, Tarot, Poland, ... The list goes on and on.
Yet, no scam has ever grown to the scale of the current Homeopathic industry. A multi-billion business, selling the only thing that's about as cheap as air: water.
A lot of people think homeopathy has something to do with herbal healing. Or using medical alternatives. Or generical alternatives, perhaps.
None of that.
The problem is that very few people actually know what homeopathy is. It's a sort of trend, really. It's fashionable. Like Omega-3. Like Active Bifidus. Nobody knows what the hell it is, but it sounds kinda scientific, so it has to be good.
So, for the sake of spreading science, I will know explain what homeopathy is.
First, I will start by giving the four golden rules of homeopathy:
1. Ten
2. All illnesses can be cured by means of 'similars'
3. Every medicine has to be diluted
4. The more diluted it is, the stronger it is.
Allright, now let me get deeper into these rules.
1. Ten
Ten. That's the first rule of homeopathy. Everything has to be ten. Ten is the magic number of homeopathy. Now, the fact that this so-called 'science' actually beliefs in a magic number says enough for me. But hey, let's move on:
All illnesses can be cured by means of 'similars'
Let's take a hypothetical situation to illustrate this:
Let's say some doctors are doing scientific research on diseases and symptoms.
So, they hire a test person, and give him a jerrican of motor oil to drink. They observe:
1. His head swells up like a balloon
2. His face turns black
3. He faints every twenty minutes.
Ok, so let's fast forward:
A patient goes to the doctor. "Doctor," he says, "I've been having the wierdest trouble lately. For one, my head has swollen up like a balloon."
"Eh eh," the doctor says.
"Secondly, my face has turned black."
"Aaaah," the doctor says, "and do you happen to faint every twenty minutes?"
"Yes doctor!", the man answers, pleased to have such an intelligent doctor, "I do!"
"Well," the doctor says, "then you have probably drank a jerrycan of motor oil lately, have you?"
"Yes... Yes I have, doctor", the man says, lightly embarrased.
"No problem.", the doctor says. "I have the perfect cure for you. Let me prescribe you some motor oil."
Does this make any sense to you? I thought not.
Yet, this is the way homeopathy works. They fight fire with fire, or use -in their own words- "similars" to 'cure' diseases. If one has trouble sleeping, for instance, they prescribe caffeine. That's how homeopathy works.
That's not all, though:
3. Every medicine has to be diluted
Allright, so the doctor prescribes motor oil. He doesn't just give the man his motor oil like that, though.
First, he takes one measure of motor oil, and ten measures of water. (ten, because ten is the maaaaagic number.) He puts both in a container of some sort, and shakes it.
He shakes it upwards and downwards, ten times.
He shakes it from left to right, ten times.
He shakes it back and forth, ten times.
All three dimensions, you see. Why? I don't know. Must be another 'magical' thing.
Allright, after that it's sufficiently shaken. Then, he takes 1/10th of the mixture he just made, and adds ten measures of water.
And he shakes it again, in all three dimensions.
*shucka schuka*
Then, he takes one tenth of thàt mixture, and adds ten measurments of water.
And he shakes it again.
And so, he repeats this process enough times to comply to the rules of homeopathy. It is shaken, and diluted further, 10 to the power of 24 times.
So that's 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 times.
And then you're medicine is ready. A fully prepared, homeopathic medicine. Good for what ails ya.
Now, let's take for an instant I actually believe they shake it that many times for real. (because I don't, see.)
Anyone who has a basic grasp of natural science, will probably know that there will most likely be as good as nothing left of the original "medicine" in the solution. Heck, perhaps still a molecule or two, I don't know. Perhaps someone who studies engineering should find that out, sometimes.
But hey, wait up! The fun doesn't end here. Not all, very few actually, of homeopathic 'medicine' is sold in fluid form. Actually, most of them are pills.
So how does that work, you ask? Well, very simple. See, you take that 10^24 times diluted medicine, and a dripper. You know, like you'd use for eye drips.
You fill it up with the medicine, and you put a tiny little drip of it on every pill.
Now, the mathematical requirements of this are way beyond me, but I think the chances of a single molecule of the 'similar' actually landing on a pill is quite, probably near infinitely, small.
But that's no problem, see. Because the 'vibrations' of the similar are still in that drip of water.
Oh yeah. The 'vibrations'. Aren't your fears taken away now. Now, I've only had high school physics, but I don't see what the hell this has anything to do with vibrations. I really don't.
It's just one of those fancy words they use in scams, I think. Like quantummechanics, for instance. Used by a lot of consters too, that one. I doubt a single one of them actually knows what the hell quantummechanics is.
Now, on to rule four:
4. The more diluted it is, the stronger
Basically, this means that if you dilute it even more than 10^24 times, it becomes even stronger. I'm not going to comment on this, because the stupidity is making my head hurt.
But hey, I heard some guy in my street had a homeopathic medicine overdose by not taking his medicine!
*sigh*
Now let's see... I happen to have a glass of tap water, right in front of me on my desk here.
Ok, so that water's billions of years old now, isn't it?
So that means it has most certainly made contact with every known substance to man, right?
And that it has been diluted to epic proportions, right?
OH MY GOD! IT'S THE MOST POWERFUL HOMEOPATHIC CURE EVER!
Quick, let's go give it to my neighbour who has cancer!
Yet, no scam has ever grown to the scale of the current Homeopathic industry. A multi-billion business, selling the only thing that's about as cheap as air: water.
A lot of people think homeopathy has something to do with herbal healing. Or using medical alternatives. Or generical alternatives, perhaps.
None of that.
The problem is that very few people actually know what homeopathy is. It's a sort of trend, really. It's fashionable. Like Omega-3. Like Active Bifidus. Nobody knows what the hell it is, but it sounds kinda scientific, so it has to be good.
So, for the sake of spreading science, I will know explain what homeopathy is.
First, I will start by giving the four golden rules of homeopathy:
1. Ten
2. All illnesses can be cured by means of 'similars'
3. Every medicine has to be diluted
4. The more diluted it is, the stronger it is.
Allright, now let me get deeper into these rules.
1. Ten
Ten. That's the first rule of homeopathy. Everything has to be ten. Ten is the magic number of homeopathy. Now, the fact that this so-called 'science' actually beliefs in a magic number says enough for me. But hey, let's move on:
All illnesses can be cured by means of 'similars'
Let's take a hypothetical situation to illustrate this:
Let's say some doctors are doing scientific research on diseases and symptoms.
So, they hire a test person, and give him a jerrican of motor oil to drink. They observe:
1. His head swells up like a balloon
2. His face turns black
3. He faints every twenty minutes.
Ok, so let's fast forward:
A patient goes to the doctor. "Doctor," he says, "I've been having the wierdest trouble lately. For one, my head has swollen up like a balloon."
"Eh eh," the doctor says.
"Secondly, my face has turned black."
"Aaaah," the doctor says, "and do you happen to faint every twenty minutes?"
"Yes doctor!", the man answers, pleased to have such an intelligent doctor, "I do!"
"Well," the doctor says, "then you have probably drank a jerrycan of motor oil lately, have you?"
"Yes... Yes I have, doctor", the man says, lightly embarrased.
"No problem.", the doctor says. "I have the perfect cure for you. Let me prescribe you some motor oil."
Does this make any sense to you? I thought not.
Yet, this is the way homeopathy works. They fight fire with fire, or use -in their own words- "similars" to 'cure' diseases. If one has trouble sleeping, for instance, they prescribe caffeine. That's how homeopathy works.
That's not all, though:
3. Every medicine has to be diluted
Allright, so the doctor prescribes motor oil. He doesn't just give the man his motor oil like that, though.
First, he takes one measure of motor oil, and ten measures of water. (ten, because ten is the maaaaagic number.) He puts both in a container of some sort, and shakes it.
He shakes it upwards and downwards, ten times.
He shakes it from left to right, ten times.
He shakes it back and forth, ten times.
All three dimensions, you see. Why? I don't know. Must be another 'magical' thing.
Allright, after that it's sufficiently shaken. Then, he takes 1/10th of the mixture he just made, and adds ten measures of water.
And he shakes it again, in all three dimensions.
*shucka schuka*
Then, he takes one tenth of thàt mixture, and adds ten measurments of water.
And he shakes it again.
And so, he repeats this process enough times to comply to the rules of homeopathy. It is shaken, and diluted further, 10 to the power of 24 times.
So that's 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 times.
And then you're medicine is ready. A fully prepared, homeopathic medicine. Good for what ails ya.
Now, let's take for an instant I actually believe they shake it that many times for real. (because I don't, see.)
Anyone who has a basic grasp of natural science, will probably know that there will most likely be as good as nothing left of the original "medicine" in the solution. Heck, perhaps still a molecule or two, I don't know. Perhaps someone who studies engineering should find that out, sometimes.
But hey, wait up! The fun doesn't end here. Not all, very few actually, of homeopathic 'medicine' is sold in fluid form. Actually, most of them are pills.
So how does that work, you ask? Well, very simple. See, you take that 10^24 times diluted medicine, and a dripper. You know, like you'd use for eye drips.
You fill it up with the medicine, and you put a tiny little drip of it on every pill.
Now, the mathematical requirements of this are way beyond me, but I think the chances of a single molecule of the 'similar' actually landing on a pill is quite, probably near infinitely, small.
But that's no problem, see. Because the 'vibrations' of the similar are still in that drip of water.
Oh yeah. The 'vibrations'. Aren't your fears taken away now. Now, I've only had high school physics, but I don't see what the hell this has anything to do with vibrations. I really don't.
It's just one of those fancy words they use in scams, I think. Like quantummechanics, for instance. Used by a lot of consters too, that one. I doubt a single one of them actually knows what the hell quantummechanics is.
Now, on to rule four:
4. The more diluted it is, the stronger
Basically, this means that if you dilute it even more than 10^24 times, it becomes even stronger. I'm not going to comment on this, because the stupidity is making my head hurt.
But hey, I heard some guy in my street had a homeopathic medicine overdose by not taking his medicine!
*sigh*
Now let's see... I happen to have a glass of tap water, right in front of me on my desk here.
Ok, so that water's billions of years old now, isn't it?
So that means it has most certainly made contact with every known substance to man, right?
And that it has been diluted to epic proportions, right?
OH MY GOD! IT'S THE MOST POWERFUL HOMEOPATHIC CURE EVER!
Quick, let's go give it to my neighbour who has cancer!
