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greatatlantic

It Wandered In From the Wastes
In other news.

FF STILL AWFUL

Many gamers have discovered that the Square Enix series is indeed still awful. This came as a
surpirse to many, who thought they would try to play it again and suddenly discover it was good.

Andrew Harding, a gaming and RPG veteran, said, "Yeah, I was bored. So I thought, I'll just
give them another try. So, I played some Final Fantasy and it was STILL awful. I mean, we all
played Final Fantasy 4 in Middle School. Everything from 7 on down is just trash. I mean, was
Sephiroth a eunuch? I think so. Wasn't one enough? Why do all these games all feature evil
eunuchs? Do the Japanes have some issues to work out?"

Other gamers take a more optismitic view of Final Fantasy. Benjamin Roosevelt had this to say,
"I sort of liked the Turn Based combat in 10. However, they go release some idiotic 10-2, try to
figure that moniker out, and I never knew what the heck I was doing besides playing dress up with
generic fems. Anyways, I gave to my 2nd grade brother, he eats that garbage off the floor and
spares me the effort of finding a real Christmas gift. Those numbers make it easy to keep track
of what I've already gotten him."

Emails sent to Square Enix public relation departments asking why their games are so bad
went unanswered. We were, however, mailed a flyer for Final Fantasy XII, for which more copies have
been preordered already then anything actually worth playing.

P.S. Yeah, its a well worn joke. I just had so much fun writing it I had to share it with somewhere.
 
Honestly, I think every FF ever made, was a peice of crap. They were fun when you were like 10 and could be entertained by jumping up and down for hours.

But if I tried to play them again now, or any console style rpg for that matter, I'd probably jump out the window.
 
The only Square game I've ever liked was Chrono Trigger. Now with Fallout and Torment under my belt, I can't stand playing that game ever again. So boring...

Oh, and Final Fantasy games suck :P.
 
[hands greatatlantic a cigar]

Excellent work! FF DOES suck! I can't understand why people love it so much... it seems so dull and boring, and very, very limited next to computer RPGs, especially the Fallout series, which is head and shoulders above even other good CRPGs like Baldur's Gate!
 
As RPGs, the FF games do indeed suck. As would Mario 64, Doom, Half Life (and any other "popular" game you care to mention) if judged as RPGs.

This does not mean the can't be any fun, but that they are not RPGs.

I think Square and the gaming media committed something of a misnomer calling them such.

I've not really played any of them in great detail other than VII though and that not recently.
 
I have played I through X-2, except for IX, around when they were released. They weren't bad for the time, in fact the first Final Fantasy was pretty much the best on the console. II and III you needed to either read Japanese at the time, or have a translator nearby. IV wasn't that bad, a fun dungeon crawl with some good artwork, V was fun with the character system you could train each character up differently with, and VI was also fun in that each character had a distinct ability and personality.

Enter in FFVII, and it goes downhill with boring, uninspired writing and 3d graphics. The characters in combat were only differentiated by their limit breaks, as all you need to do otherwise is just swap the materia around. The artistic style of the levels also went downhill, because the areas in FFVI had a lot more personality and atmosphere than the sprawling yet bland scapes of FFVII.

Yes, they did well with the graphics, but the importance of graphics over gameplay became wildly obvious with FFVIII and the games became even more mind-numbing with FFX. The only thing in that game that had any sense of replay was the ball game, and that's stretching it.

At the core, the FF games are little more than dungeon crawlers, as there isn't much else to the design of the games that would cause it to be considered anything else.

Now with other titles coming out for the consoles that are more fun, involving, and without the cliché characters of recent FF games, FF games are going to have a hard time keeping up. Perhaps they should have kept to the philosophy that saved their ass from being a nobody company that swirled down the shitter along with 'The 3d Adventures of World Runner".
 
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