I don't think you're comprehending me. For players like me, the reload function is the only thing that allows a game to be fun. There is no point in playing if the character can die. Better no arc than an aborted one. I don't play for challenge. I don't like challenge. I like telling a story, most specifically I only want to tell stories with a happy ending (Fallout being the bare minimum of a happy ending)
I am not trying to be rude in any way, but I think P&P RPGs are not for you. Pretty much any P&P relies on the players knowing that their characters can go kaput if they aren't cautious or mess with the wrong crowd.
The thing about computer games is that they do not have a human GM, so if the player makes a mistake, the computer game will be ruthless, in P&P if the player makes a mistake, the GM might be lenient and change the situation behind the scenes so the character doesn't immediately die, but gets almost dead, or the GM explains the situation again and try subtly to change the player's mind.
And even so, rogue-like games with permadeath seem to be increasing in popularity lately (I also do not like permadeath in some computer games, while in others i think it works perfeclty, like in the game Streets of Rogue for example).
An example: I once had a player that only started changing his mind about doing stupid dangerous stuff after he had to make 4 new characters, even though I would explain the situation again and ask him if he was sure he wanted to do whatever stupid thing he wanted to do. I had even stopped being subtle and everyone else already knew he would die if he didn't change his mind. Now if I had totally cheated the system and allowed him to survive even thought there was no chance it would happen, he wouldn't have learned anything from it, he would just continue to do stupid stuff and making the rest of the players annoyed, he could be having fun making his character act totally stupid (with a Wisdom of 14 and Intelligence of 18) but it was spoiling the fun for the other four players and for me as a GM to be honest.
Now I am sure you wouldn't be playing your character in such a stupid way that you would try to jump through a wall of blades that deals 12d6 damage when you only have 7 HP all while you were affected by a slow spell, because the issue you seem to have with permadeath is that you actually care about your character and get emotionally invested, but if the rules are not the same across the board and for all players it will break the "immersion" (I hate this immersion word...) of the other players, because the world lacks coherence, it doesn't make sense anymore and it would be unfair for the rest of the players. We could make everyone not being able to be killed, but knowing the kind of players NMA has that prize difficulty, world consistence, hardship, and the danger of the wastes, they would not have fun if they could all fall fighting deathclaws but then would just get up and keep fighting, or would just wake up in someone's bed/clinic all ready to go back to the deathclaws to deal with them again.
I guess one way is to make a poll or ask around and see if there are any other players that have fun the same way you do, who knows, maybe there are a few and you will find a nice group to play with. We won't know until we ask.
This whole thing is an unfair thing, on one side it is unfair for you that people in this thread seem to not have fun playing or allowing you to play the way you have fun, but it is also unfair to demand they do so. It is a lose-lose situation no matter how we see it and there is no way everyone will ever be happy
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