* Contains spoilers - like - the first hour of gameplay*
I fire up the game after a simple, smooth install. I start up the game, and like all people I respect, go to the options to set my preferred resolution. I find no resolution setting. So I have to exit the game and find a options page on the launcher to set the display settings. Into the game again, where I set the necessary "settings" settings. Ok, now I'm ready to start up the game for real. New game please. Yes, I'm really really sure I want to start a new game. Blackout.
Cue trailer. Ok, I watch the game trailer again, out of fear I will unintentionally skip some other cinematic I'd like to watch - it's not like it hurts me or something. Then comes an introduction, decent enough, though it doesn't seem as realistic as I'd want it to. It comes of somewhat false, but hey, I'm trying to lower my standards here, and it does have some decent humor.
"War, war never changes"
I guess it doesn't.
*Buhuuu! *Vreeeee!
Ok, I've been born! Nice, but why can't I move my head?
I'm a boy, yes, and I'm gonna look like a total jerk.
Why does my mother sound like a bad soap actress? I don't want my mother so sound lame like that.. Well, ok, go on.
My name is Thom!
I tried the name Bitch later on as a female, and that was also great according to my father. If I were to make a change at this point, I would include a profanity filter - a quite straightforward process - to check if someone call themselves a c*nt or something, and then make my father say something like: "Well, hehe, not perhaps the best name, but your mom says she won't allow anything else."
Next, of course, my mom dies.
And in this case, because of naming me Bitch or from having the voice of a washed up postitute.
(Disclaimer: I respect prostitution as a valid occupation)
Okok, I've been born, and now I'm in a playing pen! My dad leaves me and, of course, I'm up to some mischief! I go to see if I can find an SMG or something, becoming a mass murderer at the age of 1, but alas, no SMG. The closest thing I come is a passage from the bible, but that's not something I'll need to use, people kill them selves with it instead. The only thing I can really do at this point is to use the *You're SPECIAL* book.
I'm S.P.E.C.I.A.L
Indeed, though not THAT special. I'm searching for "gifted" in this book, which was a trait you could pick in the two previous games that gave you 7 more statpoints to play with, though at a cost of less skillpoints. But I can't wish more pages, so I go for an intelligent and charismatic playboy with decent luck and strength.
My father returns, and forces me to hear the entire passage from the bible that I've of course just read. As an atheist, I don't want to hear more of that thank you, so I explore the next room while my dad explains the passage to my big red rubber ball - he must have really poor eyesight or something.
Whiteout!
Wahey! Happy birthday, you're 10!
Pipboy 3000! Why should I have a 3000? Was this vault equipped with a newer model than those on the west coast or something that had the 2000 model, or did they, like, design it them themselves? I don't complain at least, GIVE! I'm not much for a party goer though, so I just want to finish up, but I have to talk to EVERYONE before I can continue. Fine! Done and done. Nice voice acting on the kids, however stereotypical. I'm a mute, but my text telepathy seems to be fooling them ok. I finally get to kill something!
Whiteout!
Cue stupid leather jackets.
Omg, OMG!! They took stereotypical and went monotypical. Well, ok, I'm supposed to "rescue" my girl friend, so I do, and well, now can you be my girl-friend at least, if not my girlfriend? Nope, not yet. Ok let's take the S.H.E.E.P: Somewhat hilarious, enigmatic and erotic pictures. Ok, fine, the G.O.A.T then, though the experience was more woolly, not less, and definitely less erotic. Keep the somewhat hilarious though.
And.. Whiteout!
And.. boobs.. hehe
Hello, sexy, why so serious? Bla bla, murder and such, escape from vault needed. Ok, I won't kill your father.
I kill her father and escape the vault after a murder spree. Suddenly, just after stepping through the huge vault door, I teleport to Oblivion with the cavern stone hallway around me and a lit up door in the end. I open the door, teleport back to Fallout 3, take a look at the loading screen again and adjust my eyes to the light. A not so barren trashland reveals before my eyes in all its browngrey glory. My really, really slow travelling adventure has now officially started. (And by really, really slow travelling, I mean like heel to balls slow - sorry for the visualisation, guys.)
=========================================================
So. What to do now.. I've read many previews where they immediately head towards a town called Megatown, an ironically small town just 100 metres from the vault entrance. Sure, why not.
After 10 minutes of walking, I get there, and think to my self that this is pretty good! The entrance to the town looks pretty nice, though how a jet engine would work like that I don't have a clue. It defies all logic, like the vault door sliding to the right without anything pushing or pulling it. Hmmm, perhaps I'm just picky.
Once inside, a sheriff moonwalks up the slope towards me like a bad, ehem, Oblivion/Western parody, and greets me.
Yo! I want that hat, i want to say, but I'm smart and tells him he'll get no trouble from me, as far as he knows. Next, I kill the town medic for all the stimpacks he's got. He's got patients lying in the back room resting, but they sleep on soundly as I decapitate him with a sawn-off shotgun in the next room.
A whole lot of stimpacks richer, and the town none the wiser, I go on to the town pub. There I meet a ghoul named Gus or something, talking in the same voice all male ghouls in the game have, by my estimation.
Two seconds after doing that, a guy named Burke tells me, a total stranger, that he wants to wipe out the town with the nuke in the center of town. Hehe, I think, when there exists people who are so stupid that they actually build a town around an active nuclear bomb, then I'm all for it - genetic purging or whatever reason. Gus, the bartender, standing approx. 2 metres away must have heard the discussion and he seems to agree whole-ghoul-heatedly, the suicidal crazyperson.
I rig the bomb and use about 30 minutes to walk to the Tenpenny Tower a place a couple of kilometres away. There I meet up with Burke at the top balcony, where I get the honor of detonating the bomb. I wait until nightfall, and Burke tells me I shouldn't look too closely at the bomb when it blows. Smart, I think, as looking at a nuclear blast will instantly and permanently blind you. I detonate it and it is really grand. It would be a grand display as an end to the game, not just a shitty town, which coincidentally is also the best town in the game. But hey, it's a grand late start to a bland adventure forwards.
===============================================
This was supposed to be a part of a review of the game, but I though it were better suited to people who've played at least an hour already and resides on this forum.
I fire up the game after a simple, smooth install. I start up the game, and like all people I respect, go to the options to set my preferred resolution. I find no resolution setting. So I have to exit the game and find a options page on the launcher to set the display settings. Into the game again, where I set the necessary "settings" settings. Ok, now I'm ready to start up the game for real. New game please. Yes, I'm really really sure I want to start a new game. Blackout.
Cue trailer. Ok, I watch the game trailer again, out of fear I will unintentionally skip some other cinematic I'd like to watch - it's not like it hurts me or something. Then comes an introduction, decent enough, though it doesn't seem as realistic as I'd want it to. It comes of somewhat false, but hey, I'm trying to lower my standards here, and it does have some decent humor.
"War, war never changes"
I guess it doesn't.
*Buhuuu! *Vreeeee!
Ok, I've been born! Nice, but why can't I move my head?
I'm a boy, yes, and I'm gonna look like a total jerk.
Why does my mother sound like a bad soap actress? I don't want my mother so sound lame like that.. Well, ok, go on.
My name is Thom!
I tried the name Bitch later on as a female, and that was also great according to my father. If I were to make a change at this point, I would include a profanity filter - a quite straightforward process - to check if someone call themselves a c*nt or something, and then make my father say something like: "Well, hehe, not perhaps the best name, but your mom says she won't allow anything else."
Next, of course, my mom dies.
And in this case, because of naming me Bitch or from having the voice of a washed up postitute.
(Disclaimer: I respect prostitution as a valid occupation)
Okok, I've been born, and now I'm in a playing pen! My dad leaves me and, of course, I'm up to some mischief! I go to see if I can find an SMG or something, becoming a mass murderer at the age of 1, but alas, no SMG. The closest thing I come is a passage from the bible, but that's not something I'll need to use, people kill them selves with it instead. The only thing I can really do at this point is to use the *You're SPECIAL* book.
I'm S.P.E.C.I.A.L
Indeed, though not THAT special. I'm searching for "gifted" in this book, which was a trait you could pick in the two previous games that gave you 7 more statpoints to play with, though at a cost of less skillpoints. But I can't wish more pages, so I go for an intelligent and charismatic playboy with decent luck and strength.
My father returns, and forces me to hear the entire passage from the bible that I've of course just read. As an atheist, I don't want to hear more of that thank you, so I explore the next room while my dad explains the passage to my big red rubber ball - he must have really poor eyesight or something.
Whiteout!
Wahey! Happy birthday, you're 10!
Pipboy 3000! Why should I have a 3000? Was this vault equipped with a newer model than those on the west coast or something that had the 2000 model, or did they, like, design it them themselves? I don't complain at least, GIVE! I'm not much for a party goer though, so I just want to finish up, but I have to talk to EVERYONE before I can continue. Fine! Done and done. Nice voice acting on the kids, however stereotypical. I'm a mute, but my text telepathy seems to be fooling them ok. I finally get to kill something!
Whiteout!
Cue stupid leather jackets.
Omg, OMG!! They took stereotypical and went monotypical. Well, ok, I'm supposed to "rescue" my girl friend, so I do, and well, now can you be my girl-friend at least, if not my girlfriend? Nope, not yet. Ok let's take the S.H.E.E.P: Somewhat hilarious, enigmatic and erotic pictures. Ok, fine, the G.O.A.T then, though the experience was more woolly, not less, and definitely less erotic. Keep the somewhat hilarious though.
And.. Whiteout!
And.. boobs.. hehe
Hello, sexy, why so serious? Bla bla, murder and such, escape from vault needed. Ok, I won't kill your father.
I kill her father and escape the vault after a murder spree. Suddenly, just after stepping through the huge vault door, I teleport to Oblivion with the cavern stone hallway around me and a lit up door in the end. I open the door, teleport back to Fallout 3, take a look at the loading screen again and adjust my eyes to the light. A not so barren trashland reveals before my eyes in all its browngrey glory. My really, really slow travelling adventure has now officially started. (And by really, really slow travelling, I mean like heel to balls slow - sorry for the visualisation, guys.)
=========================================================
So. What to do now.. I've read many previews where they immediately head towards a town called Megatown, an ironically small town just 100 metres from the vault entrance. Sure, why not.
After 10 minutes of walking, I get there, and think to my self that this is pretty good! The entrance to the town looks pretty nice, though how a jet engine would work like that I don't have a clue. It defies all logic, like the vault door sliding to the right without anything pushing or pulling it. Hmmm, perhaps I'm just picky.
Once inside, a sheriff moonwalks up the slope towards me like a bad, ehem, Oblivion/Western parody, and greets me.
Yo! I want that hat, i want to say, but I'm smart and tells him he'll get no trouble from me, as far as he knows. Next, I kill the town medic for all the stimpacks he's got. He's got patients lying in the back room resting, but they sleep on soundly as I decapitate him with a sawn-off shotgun in the next room.
A whole lot of stimpacks richer, and the town none the wiser, I go on to the town pub. There I meet a ghoul named Gus or something, talking in the same voice all male ghouls in the game have, by my estimation.
Two seconds after doing that, a guy named Burke tells me, a total stranger, that he wants to wipe out the town with the nuke in the center of town. Hehe, I think, when there exists people who are so stupid that they actually build a town around an active nuclear bomb, then I'm all for it - genetic purging or whatever reason. Gus, the bartender, standing approx. 2 metres away must have heard the discussion and he seems to agree whole-ghoul-heatedly, the suicidal crazyperson.
I rig the bomb and use about 30 minutes to walk to the Tenpenny Tower a place a couple of kilometres away. There I meet up with Burke at the top balcony, where I get the honor of detonating the bomb. I wait until nightfall, and Burke tells me I shouldn't look too closely at the bomb when it blows. Smart, I think, as looking at a nuclear blast will instantly and permanently blind you. I detonate it and it is really grand. It would be a grand display as an end to the game, not just a shitty town, which coincidentally is also the best town in the game. But hey, it's a grand late start to a bland adventure forwards.
===============================================
This was supposed to be a part of a review of the game, but I though it were better suited to people who've played at least an hour already and resides on this forum.
).