NMA Brotherhood of Steel Writing Contest now closed

Brother None

Brother None

This ghoul has seen it all
Orderite
We got a flurry of submission at the end, some of you sure got it out just in time.

We thank everyone for their submissions, even those who apparently didn't read the rules and go way over or under the word limit (shame on you).

The contest is now closed. We will begin judging and hopefully have the results in soon.
 
Good luck to everyone! I hope to whichever deity any/all worship that your works are definitely better than mine, because if they aren't.. oh man you've got problems.. :lol:
 
hehe, well, you need a special kind of writing style to be able to write anything but utter shit in under 1200 words. i know i can't. i need detail to set the mood and to remain interesting.

so you're still in the running DarkLegacy! ;)
 
Girl

by Jamaica Kincaid

Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry; don't walk barehead in the hot sun; cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil; soak your little cloths right after you take them off; when buying cotton to make yourself a nice blouse, be sure that it doesn't have gum on it, because that way it won't hold up well after a wash; soak salt fish overnight before you cook it; is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?; always eat your food in such a way that it won't turn someone else's stomach; on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming; don't sing benna in Sunday school; you mustn't speak to wharbfflies will follow you; but I don't sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school; this is how to sew on a button; this is how to make a button-hole for the button you have just sewed on; this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming; this is how you iron your father's khaki shirt so that it doesn't have a crease; this is how you iron your father's khaki pants so that they don't have a crease; this is how you grow okrbafar from the house, because okra tree harbors red ants; when you are growing dasheen, make sure it gets plenty of water or else it makes your throat itch when you are eating it; this is how you sweep a corner; this is how you sweep a whole house; this is how you sweep a yard; this is how you smile to someone you don't like too much; this is how you smile to someone you don't like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely; this is how you set a table for tea; this is how you set a table for dinner; this is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest; this is how you set a table for lunch; this is how you set a table for breakfast; this is how to behave in the presence of men who don't know you very well, and this way they won't recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming; be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own spit; don't squat down to play marblebsyou are not a boy, you know; don't pick people's flowerbsyou might catch something; don't throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not be a blackbird at all; this is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold; this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child; this is how to catch a fish; this is how to throw back a fish you don't like, and that way something bad won't fall on you; this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man; and if this doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up; this is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move quick so that it doesn't fall on you; this is how to make ends meet; always squeeze bread to make sure it's fresh; but what if the baker won't let me feel the bread?; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?
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673 word classic. Appeared in the New Yorker and made her career.
 
Double post-

Richard Matheson's first big hit-
about 1250 words-

Born of Man and Woman
by Richard Matheson

X-- This day when it had light mother called me a retch. You retch she said. I saw in her eyes the anger. I wonder what it is a retch.

This day it had water falling from upstairs. It fell all around. I saw that. The ground of the back I watched from the little window. The ground it sucked up the water like thirsty lips. It drank too much and it got sick and runny brown. I didn't like it.

Mother is a pretty thing I know. In my bed place with cold walls around I have a paper things that was behind the furnace. It says on it Screen Stars. I see in the pictures faces like of mother and father. Father says they are pretty. Once he said it.

And also mother he said. Mother so pretty and me decent enough. Look at you he said and didn't have the nice face. I touched his arm and said it is alright father. He shook and pulled away where I couldn't reach.

Today mother let me off the chain a little so I could look out the little window. That's how I saw the water falling from upstairs.

XX -- This day it had goldness in the upstairs. As I know when I looked at it my eyes hurt. After I looked at it the cellar is red.

I think this was church. They leave the upstairs. The big machine swallow them and rolls out past and is gone. In the back part is the little mother. She is much small than me. I am big. It is a secret but I have pulled the chain out of the wall. I can see out the little window all I like.

In this day when it got dark I had eat my food and some bugs. I hear laughs upstairs. I like to know why there are laughs for. I took the chain from the wall and wrapped it around me. I walked squish to the stairs. They creak when I walk on them. My legs slip on them because I don't want on stairs. My feet stick to the wood.

I went up and opened a door. It was a white place. White as white jewels that come from upstairs sometime. I went in and stood quiet. I hear laughing some more. I walk to the sound and look through to the people. More people than I thought was. I thought I should laugh with them.

Mother came out and pushed the door in. It hit me and hurt. I fell back on the smooth floor and the chain made noise. I cried. She made a hissing noise into her and put her hand on her mouth. Her eyes got big.

She looked at me. I heard father call. What fell he called. She said a iron board. Come help pick it up she said. He came and said now is that so heavy you need me. He saw me and grew big. The anger came in his eyes. He hit me. I spilled some of the drip on the floor from one arm. It was not nice. It made ugly green on the floor.

Father told me to go to the cellar. I had to go. The light it hurt now in my eyes. It is not like that in the cellar.

Father tied my legs and arms up. He put me on my bed. Upstairs I heard laughing while I was quiet there looking on a black spider that was swinging down to me. I thought what father said. Oh god he said. And only eight.

XXX - This day father hit in the chain again before it had light. I have to try to pull it out again. He said I was bad to come upstairs. He said never do that again or he would beat me hard. That hurts.

I hurt. I slept the day and rested my head against the cold wall. I thought of the white place upstairs.

XXXX -- I got the chain from the wall out. Mother was upstairs. I heard little laughs very high. I looked out the window. I saw all little people like the little mother and little fathers too. They are pretty.

They were making nice noise and jumping around the ground. Their legs was moving hard. They are like mother and father. Mother says all right people look like they do.

One of the little fathers saw me. He pointed at the window. I let go and slid down the wall in the dark. I curled up as they would not see. I heard their talks by the window and foots running. Upstairs there was a door hitting. I heard the little mother call upstairs. I heard heavy steps and I rushed to my bed place. I hit the chain in the wall and lay down on my front.

I heard mother come down. Have you been at the window she said. I heard the anger. Stay away from the window. You have pulled the chain out again.

She took the stick and hit me with it. I didn't cry. I can't do that. But the drip ran all over the bed. She saw it and twisted away and made a noise. Oh my god my god she said why have you done this to me? I heard the stick go bounce on the stone floor. She ran upstairs. I slept the day.

XXXXX -- This day it had water again. When mother was upstairs I heard the little one come slow down the steps. I hidded myself in the coal bin for mother would have anger if the little mother saw me.

She had a little live thing with her. It walked on the arms and had pointy ears. She said things to it.

It was all right except the live thing smelled me. It ran up the coal and looked down at me. The hairs stood up. In the throat it made an angry noise. I hissed but it jumped on me.

I didn't want to hurt it. I got fear because it bit harder than the rat does. I hurt and the little mother screamed. I grabbed the live thing tight. It made sounds I never heard. I pushed it all together. It was lumpy and red on the black coal.

I hid there when mother called. I was afraid of the stick. She left. I crept over the coal with the thing. I hid it under my pillow and rested on it. I put the chain in the wall again.

X -- This is another times. Father chained me tight. I hurt because he beat me. This time I hit the stick out of his hands and made noise. He went away and his face was white. He ran out of my bed place and locked the door.

I am not so glad. All day it is cold in here. The chain comes slow out of the wall. And I have a bad anger with mother and father. I will show them. I will do what I did that once.

I will screech and laugh loud. I will run on the walls. Last I will hang head down by all my legs and laugh and drip green all over until they are sorry they didn't be nice to me.

If they try to beat me again I'll hurt them. I will.
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welsh said:
673 word classic. Appeared in the New Yorker and made her career.
Click to expand...
but it still sucks donkeydick in my book. sorry bud.

welsh said:
Double post-

Richard Matheson's first big hit-
about 1250 words-
Click to expand...
ah, now we're talking. interesting piece.

but again you're assuming we've got a Matheson in our midst... it'd be a nice surprise, but i kinda doubt it.
 
Worth The Second Reading

Worth The Second Reading



Girl by Jamaica Kincaid:

... try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming ...

... the slut I know you are so bent on becoming ...

... and this way they won't recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming ...

...you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?
Click to expand...


Looks like a catalogue of how to's and shined with the wit and wisdom of a coming of age story.
Read the nagging chorus.
Familiar to all blessed with the discipline of elders repeating a litany that most hear but few heed. Repeat for emphasis, repeat for drama, repeat for characterization.
Know a parental song when one hears it.

Reward of the second reading was comprehending the power of the last line.

Saw this gem first reading:

... don't throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not be a blackbird at all ...
Click to expand...

Sinister stuff.
For a possible movie version of this vision, could be a moral tale, or the passage to a Lovecraft haunting.


4too
 
Was meaning to ask this before, now that the contest is over, how many entries did the contest generate?
 
I'm pretty confident that my story is the best rape of Fallout canon that was ever committed ;] .
 
chang said:
Was meaning to ask this before, now that the contest is over, how many entries did the contest generate?
Click to expand...

I'd like to know this too. And also, how would you rate the average quality of entries? (Scale 1 to 10, 10 being best)
 
chang said:
Was meaning to ask this before, now that the contest is over, how many entries did the contest generate?
Click to expand...

That's going to remain a secret.

Overall quality...well...haven't read all yet. I'm not overly impressed so far, but it's not about overall quality, it's about the few gems.
 
Just a heads up for the contestants.
We are still working on this.

We've managed to reduce the number of contestants to seven, and now are reducing it to the top three, and then the final winner.

All entries have been read and considered. But choosing among the best has been a bit tricky.

I would further note that we'd considered giving prizes to the top three winners, but NMA is a non-profit shoe-string operation and the cost of three prizes is a bit too high for us. So sorry, but we are financially restrained.

Anyway, we should have our winner this week.
 
I can't wait to read the winning entry (or entries). Good on you guys for running a competition like this, it was a lot of fun.
 
Jagged_Jimmy said:
I can't wait to read the winning entry (or entries). Good on you guys for running a competition like this, it was a lot of fun.
Click to expand...

Cheers.

Winning entries should be up fairly soon. We got the list narrowed down, but there's slight disagreement on who's top dog.

Almost there, tho'.
 
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