Save your bawls, don’t go to England

S

Sovz

Vault Dweller
A jilted woman today admitted ripping off her ex-lover’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her ex-boyfriend, 37-year-old Geoffrey Jones, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party.

She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: “That’s yours.”

Monti, of Birkenhead, Merseyside, pleaded guilty to wounding at Liverpool Crown Court today and will be sentenced next month.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term relationship with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on May 30, Monti offered to collect Mr Jones from a barbecue and drive him to his home in Netherton, Merseyside. She then drove him to another party and then home again, where friends joined them for more drinks.

As the drinks party was winding down, Monti told Mr Jones she wanted to discuss their relationship and offered him sex.

When he refused, she grabbed his face and a struggle ensued.

Mr Jones threw petite Monti, who is little more than 5ft 2ins tall, out of the house. She then smashed a window and confronted him on the doorstep as he went to investigate.

Another struggle took place and Monti was knocked to the floor, from where she pulled down Mr Jones’ shorts.

In a statement read out by judge Charles James, Mr Jones continued: “I was left standing in my underpants. She was still lying on the floor.

“Suddenly she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”

Referring to his friend Danny McDonagh, who was sleeping at the house after the party, Mr Jones said: “I believe Danny walked out shortly afterwards. He came into the kitchen and said to me, ’That’s yours’, and I saw that he was holding one of my testicles in his hand.”

Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

Defence barrister Wendy Lloyd said her client did not remember much of the incident. However, she accepted the prosecution’s version of events and did not claim to have acted in self-defence.

Monti, who spoke only to confirm her name and enter a guilty plea, was released on conditional bail for sentence on February 10.
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aghh, those funny Brits
 
Hey, be happy it's not the US -- otherwise she might have sued him because the testicle tasted weird or something along those lines.


I still wonder how she managed to rip off one testicle by pulling his pants.
 
Sovz is only posting non-Romanian male genitalia news so that he won't have to dig up the Romanian male genitalia news thread again.
 
Ozrat said:
Sovz is only posting non-Romanian male genitalia news so that he won't have to dig up the Romanian male genitalia news thread again.
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true, but since you insist:

Prisoner in agony after sex experiment

A Romanian man who wanted to celebrate getting out of jail with a marathon sex session injected himself with petroleum jelly to enlarge his genitals.

Cosmil Deliu, 25, who was serving a four-year sentence for theft in the prison in Craiova said he had heard the jelly was good for sex - but had misunderstood how to use it.

Prison officers say the man injected himself six times causing his penis to grow to a length of 20 centimetres and a width of 9 centimetres but his experiments were noticed when he collapsed in pain.

Deliu is in hospital in Tirgu Jiu while doctors decide how to relieve his acute pain
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I cant imagine the pain that man must have been in...at least she didnt try anything freaky like eating it or using it to blackmail him.

I would feel scared holding my own testicle in my hand. I wonder what the inside looks like.

Hm...,
The Vault Dweller

*EDIT*

In response to Sov's continuing report on Romanian sexual insecurity...they should just cut the guys penis off. I dont want more of him around in the future.
 
Sovz, you REALLY need to post your sources for these. Gems like these need to be shared with the Interweb.
 
Flop said:
Damn!!! If someone did that to me she'd better kill me or start running.
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Why would you be mad? I mean, it would save you half the cost of the surgery you're dreaming of.
 
Well, these things happen.

Also, an Englishman I'd expect to say "That's yours, I presume?"
 
you and your ghastly penis horror stories! last night i had a dream about the man injecting the petroleum gelly into his genitalia, and in close up detail he kept pumping as his gonad expanded like a ballon until, as if it were some looney tunes cartoon, it exploded with a great big pop!

now that i think of it, last night's dreams were filled with an overabundance of penis imagery. I AM NOT GAY! or at least, i hope not! peniis are so messy. especially when they explode!
 
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