Sex- Orgasms - real or otherwise.

Katja said:
...But you're assuming that I need a guy to have good orgasms.
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You hear that, gentlemen? The truth comes out at last. So please, no more wishful thinking about Vault 69. :lol:

Katja said:
Truth is, most guys have no idea what they're doing, even at 20.
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The cruelest trick ever played on men by Nature was that by the time we find our groove...we've already passed our peak (17-25)...

Katja said:
Which is why a lot of women just end up faking orgasms instead of giving the guy feedback. And the vicious cycle ensues.
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Bravo! Not only do you speak the truth, but you are honest enough to see women's role in its perpetuation.

El Prez said:
fuck it; if a girl fakes it, tha means she likes you enough to make you think that she came. If she doesen't notify you of a problem.... THERE IS NO PROBLEM.
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That's what you think. You do realize that although she may like you enough to fake it that she's storing tons of bile-ridden data that she's going to spew in your face the first time you piss her off, right? This will be different than something she simply grabs out of thin air to hurt you, because she will go into eviscerating details which will rain sledgehammer blows down on your ego...

Cheers,

OTB
 
We definitely need more of these conversations here.

I was just joking about the sock or towel. Does anyone remember Porky's with the jock?

Kat, no I was not assuming. THat most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation and not vaginal I think illustrates that most women don't need a man to have an orgasm.

Faking an orgasm does have some benefit though. For a man who cares and is trying a fake can ease his wounded ego. A lot of guys do care enough to try to help the woman peak.

Postive reinforcement is probably the most important thing in maintaining a good relationship. For the guy, this sense of success is important. But it's also important for the girl to have the experience as well.

I have also heard that faking it can actually lead to "having it" if it relaxes you and puts you in the mood. As Ozrat pointed out once, some women are able to orgasm only with their imaginations. Men can do, but usually only if they are watching a really good porn flick.

El Prez, you also have to think of this- let's say you are with a girl and the sex is really traffic. But she keeps faking it and you don't know it. Sooner or later she's going to want to have her joy to, which means she will look elsewhere. Let's say she doesn't tell you, than she might leave you for a guy that does satisfy her needs.

Now lets say you do get your groove going. And you are pleasing the woman with orgasms. Chances are she will stick to you better, give you better and more regular sex, your relationship will probably improve.

And women gossip and talk such things- so bragging rights by her about her guy makes you look good too.
 
Men can fake it too... only it stays dry.

Some women are more "orgasm prone" than other. Fact is women can orgasms from many source, clitoral, vaginal, anal and even thinking about it, while men can only orgasm via a direct stimuli (contact).
Yes the minds play a good role in this, but no matter how mentaly stimulated a man can be he's not going to orgasm out of thin air (unless he's really young 15-18), women on the other side can escalade to the point of argasm just by thinking it right.
As for faking it, sometimes it's a good thing, a bruised man (boy) ego is not good, better fake it and wait till he falls asleep. Guidance could be appreciated.
 
OnTheBounce said:
Bravo! Not only do you speak the truth, but you are honest enough to see women's role in its perpetuation.
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Well of course. A lot of females are too quick to complain about having to fake orgasms, when they're just making the situation worse by not telling their partner what they like. Guys aren't mind readers, and a lot of females (especially younger ones) can't grasp that.

If a woman just told a guy "Ooh I like it when you do that", life would be easier for the both of them. Or, for the bolder girls, directly teach the guy what they like - that's always fun to do. Mentioning what feels good and what doesn't shouldn't be as awkward as many women consider it to be.

welsh said:
Faking an orgasm does have some benefit though. For a man who cares and is trying a fake can ease his wounded ego. A lot of guys do care enough to try to help the woman peak.
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But the guys that care enough tend to be the ones that would be very discouraged to find out she was faking it. Faking an orgasm is a quick repair for a wounded ego, but not a good solution for the long-term.

Postive reinforcement is probably the most important thing in maintaining a good relationship. For the guy, this sense of success is important. But it's also important for the girl to have the experience as well.
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Agreed. Both people should enjoy it

As Ozrat pointed out once, some women are able to orgasm only with their imaginations.
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Yep. ;)
 
All I have to say is that you need to be willing to go downstairs every once in awhile.

The G-Spot becoming more sensitive after a clitoral orgasm doesn't hurt either.
 
Ok, I split this topic because, well, as Odin pointed out we had moved past the racism issue a bit.

UJ, I have to admit, I have never been able to fake an orgasm. However, I have had the experience when using a condom of the woman asking "Have you cum yet?"
 
Go ahead, I can take it.

Better the "Have you cum yet?" than the "What? You came already?"

Though going for a long time isn't really a good thing either. I have known people who can brag about sex going on for an hour or more. Poor girl!

I think the problem with "quick fire" can be resolved if the guy tries to cum twice. The more action you get, the less quick you fire off.

Worse than either is the "What do you mean you lost the condom?" (lesson- ejaculation than quick removal). Them little bags start to slip once they have had their use.

Bradylama- problem though is that most guys probably don't know what they are doing when they get down there. But part of that problem is that a lot of woman don't know what the want down there either. Generally, the "HMmmm..I'm going to eat this like a cheeseburger" idea isn't the way to go.

UJ- I think more women orgasm through clitoral stimulation than vaginal, more from vaginal than anal. In fact I think very few women orgasm from anal. Maybe in the porn flicks, but I think for most woman it's painful.
 
welsh said:
Bradylama- problem though is that most guys probably don't know what they are doing when they get down there. But part of that problem is that a lot of woman don't know what the want down there either. Generally, the "HMmmm..I'm going to eat this like a cheeseburger" idea isn't the way to go.
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There isn't a definite style that works - each woman has a different way they want it. Trial and error and feedback.
 
El Prez, you also have to think of this- let's say you are with a girl and the sex is really traffic. But she keeps faking it and you don't know it. Sooner or later she's going to want to have her joy to, which means she will look elsewhere. Let's say she doesn't tell you, than she might leave you for a guy that does satisfy her needs.
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i guess your right there... although my comment was more along the lines of random girls as oppose to a serious relationship.
 
Random are freebies especially if you never see her again.

you can go "i'm done see ya"

ps do not do if you plan on seeing her again, or if she knows people you know, or if she speaks the same language.
 
...

You know, it's funny. At the beginning of the relationship with my girl, (I was 16) I had this "premature orgasm" problem. We came over it in a matter of, say, three months. It taught me to be more aware of what I'm and what she's doing in bed.

I think that that kind of trouble can be easily solutioned if you're willing to dialogue with the other person about it. Besides, you can tell when a girl's faking it...

The irony of it all is that nowadays, after three years of intense practice, I have the exactly opposite problem, as women can be "premature" too.

ook.
 
I agree Wooz, premature is pretty common but can be resolved with practice. Hey even older guys get the instinct to fire away too soon, but again, practice and learning what works keeps that from happening.

The problem for the younger guys is that they are new at it, and don't know when to ease off, and perhaps might want to shoot. But again this is something that takes time.

I will also agree with UJ. It's pretty common for guys to go through a "sowing the wild seed" period. In small, close communities that might work against you, especially if you don't treat the girl well. But, it can also increase your attractiveness.

I knew one fellow over the course of a year when we were doing this program in Europe and California. Damn, but if he didn't get a lot of girls. What was interesting was that once in California, this seemed only to enhance his popularity. He was a good looking fellow and a lot of girls felt that to be picked up by him was a mark of being special, or to have the "been there, done that" even if a lot of girls later cursed him.

These types of relationships are often a game, and everyone knows what's going on and what it's about. In that circumstances feelings do sometimes get hurt. But that might be because someone brings too much expectation into the relationship, whereas if they had been paying attention perhaps they might have seen that this was just a big game.
 
Jesus, has anyone read the latest forum reviews at SA?

Anyways, here's a trick I learned that improves "endurance", don't think about sex. Think about football, plans for tommorrow, Fallout (although it wouldn't surprise me if some forum members got off on thinking about FO :)).

As for being better in the sack, I totally agree with Katja in that you need to let your partner know what you want, what feels good, and things you want to try out. I say practice is perfect, although my girlfriend says that I constantly use that as an excuse to get some. Also, cunilingus is probably the best way to give women orgasms, although I've come across some girls that are self-concious about this and don't like it for that reason.
 
SA?

In National Lampoon they said Logarithms.

Good advice. Although it is often difficult to "not" think about it when you are doing it.
 
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