"The Animal World"

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by APTYP, Oct 18, 2000.

  1. APTYP

    APTYP Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Apr 2, 2003
    Translated from the text provided by AlgerT, and I have no idea where he took it from (looks like a street folklore).

    "The Bear was an ugly and dirty animal. But he was the kindest animal in the forest. Unfortunatelly, animals saw only his outside, and the Bear was very pissed off, so he ambushed other animals and was cruelly beating them with his feet. That's why nobody liked the Bear. Even though he was very kind. And funny. He liked good jokes. For these good jokes animals hated him so much and were beating him up. Alas, it is very hard to be kind and good-natured in this world.

    The Wolf was an ugly and dirty animal too. Also, he was very cruel and evil. But animals didn't hate or beat him. Because the Wolf died when he was a little child. Because the Bear was born earlier than the Wolf. Yes, it is good when Good defeats Evil.

    The Hare was evil and cruel. And dirty. Also, he was a coward. The Hare didn't hurt nobody. Because he was afraid. But he was being beaten up anyway. Because Evil should always be punished.

    The Woodpecker was evil and cruel too. He didn't beat animals because he didn't have any hands. That's why he was releasing his anger on the trees. Nobody was beating him. Because he was too high. But once he was smashed to death by a fallen tree. A rumor was that it was a revenge. A whole month after that animals were afraid to piss under trees. They were pissing on a Hare. Hare got cold and died. Everybody was sure it was the Woodpecker's fault. But nobody beat him up. Because nobody couldn't pull him out of the fallen tree. Alas, sometimes Evil goes unpunished.

    The Mole was little and blind. He wasn't evil. He was just doing his work very well. It was he who was responsible for the fall of the tree that killed the Woodpecker. Nobody knew about it, so nobody beat him up. He was rarely being beaten up. Often animals tried to scare him. But he was very hard to scare, because he was blind and didn't see that he was being scared. When animals couldn't scare the Mole, they were very disappointed. And they were beating the Bear. Because they were ashamed. Once, the Bear wanted to scare the Mole too. But the Mole wasn't scared. Because he was killed. By the Bear. It was an accident. Because the Bear was very clumsy. So animals beat the Bear really bad. Even though the Bear said it was a joke. Yes, it is very bad when nobody gets your jokes.

    The Fox was very smart. She could outsmart anybody. When she succeeded, nobody beat her up. But sometimes she wasn't so lucky. And she was beaten up. Whole forest was beating her. And she couldn't outsmart anybody. Because when it is very hard to outsmart somebody, you will be beaten up. Once she was beaten to death. Yes, a truth will always come out.

    The Hog was big, strong and scary. Everybody was very afraid of him. That's why he was being beaten up only by whole forest. Or he was thrown stones at. The Hog didn't like being thrown stones at. And once, he hid every stone in the forest. For that, he was beaten up really bad. After that the Hog didn't touch the stones. It has been truthfully said - there's a time to gather stones and there's a time never to touch them again.

    The Ass was neither evil nor kind. He was just an ass. He was an asshole most of the time. So everybody was afraid to beat him. But he was getting on everybody's nerves. So once he was beaten to death. Because if he wasn't, he would've died of old age. Some day, he would've. When the Ass died, the Bear was crying a lot. Because he secretly loved the Ass. Yes, love is wicked, you could love even an Ass.

    The Hedgehog was little and full of needles. He was using them all the time. He was even ON one. He wasn't bad, he was using the needles because it was in his nature. That's why he was being beaten only in the stomach. The Hedgehog didn't like that, so he started to shave bald. And after that, he was being beaten up just like everybody. Alas, it is very hard to be different in this world.

    The Skunk was just like the Hare. Only very stinky. He stunk really bad. He was being beaten up only in a plastic bag. Because he didn't stink so much in there. Once Skunk had a birthday. He invited every animal in the forest, because he was greedy and liked gifts. And animals gave him a gift - a new plastic bag. And beaten him really bad until he lost consciosness. And the Skunk suffocated to death in his new plastic bag. He was even burried in it. In a new plastic bag. In a Forest Far Away. Because a dead Skunk stank even worse. And then, animals from a Forest Far Away came and beat up everybody real bad. They didn't like the smell of the dead Skunk. Yes, you have to live in peace with your neighbors.

    The Hamster was very greedy too. And rich. If he would've shared his wealth, he wouldn't be beaten up very bad. But he was too greedy. That's why everybody beat him very hard. And he had to share anyway. And he was crying. Yes, even the rich cries.

    The Lion was Tzar of the animals. He was ruling the forest. It is not in custom to beat Tzars. It's a law not to beat Tzars. But animals didn't give a fuck about the law for a very long time. Animals were beating the Lion too. For nothing. Because it's a custom."

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  3. APTYP

    APTYP Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Apr 2, 2003
    RE: You should write a children's book about this... (nt)

    As soon as I find a real author (for copyright) - I will.

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  4. Briosafreak

    Briosafreak Lived Through the Heat Death

    Dec 18, 2003
    RE: You should write a children's book about this...

    [font size=1" color="#FF0000]LAST EDITED ON Oct-19-00 AT 09:08AM (GMT)[p]this is the strangest post i`ve ever read...entertaining, though :)



    "shichisho hokoku"