What is a Spirogyra?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Guest, Jan 16, 2000.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I hope this post isn't off topic, and if it is I sincerely apologize.

    Many of you have looked at my name and wondered "What is a Spirogyra, much less a killer one?"

    A spirogyra is a type of freshwater algae, Gamophyta Spirogyra. They are better known as pond scum. They have a very complex reproductive process which has not been fully procured. However, it basically goes that a little bit of the adult spirogyra breaks off and grows. Sometimes two spirogyra come together and a zygote forms between them. This becomes a new spirogyra. Spirogyra are long and tubelike with spiral-shape chloroplasts(the part that turns sunlight into food).

    Now what is a killer spirogyra? These creatures seem more or less harmless.

    And they are harmless, because they have no means of harming any other creature except for one fact shared by everything in existance - they occupy space and the space occupied by a spirogyra can't be occupied by anything else.

    Therefore, it is a simple job of making them multiply until they clot a major artery to become killer. This is done by exposing them to small doses of antibiotics until they become resilient to them. The only other substance that can possibly harm them is alcohol, but that would have to be consumed in such quantities as to enable brain death.

    The only other catch is that to successfully introduce them into somebody's system, they would have to be a) consumed, b) injected, or c) placed on an open wound. The second is the least plausible, because what fool wouldn't notice being injected with pond scum? The first one isn't much better, because they would have to be eaten in very large doses which would be next to impossible to hide unless the fool was in the knowledge he was eating pond scum and accepted it. The last choice, even though it is the best, is pretty sad. You'd have to be an idiot (no disrespect to idiots) to not realize that the gauze on your cut was an unhealthy shade of green.

    Thanks for getting this far, you'd have to be a mad scientist or just an extremly bored person to read all of this.
     
  2. Shadowman

    Shadowman Water Chip? Been There, Done That

    904
    Apr 24, 2003
    ROFL!!

    Well this is the GENERAL board so I can't accuse you of being off-topic. And even if it was, it was one of the most enjoyable posts ever to be posted on this fallout message board. Thanx for making me laugh. (by the way check out the unwashed village http://www.unwashed.com, it's full of insane people like you).
     
  3. Guest

    Guest Guest

    RE: ROFL!!

    Yeah! I'm insane! In-SAYNE! Not that that's a bad thing. I'm insane in the membrane! Not that the membrane has anything to do with being insane, the membrane is the stuff around those killer spirogyra! But I like being insane!
     
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    RE: ROFL!!

    Wait.. I found a chink in my armor of Spirogyra...

    They're plants, and when they're inside somebody's vein, they can't conduct photosynthesis, because it's perfect darkness in the human body.

    Also, They would be swept away in the preassure of the veins and be dispersed, so they couldn't form a large enough barrier to work.

    Curses.
     
  5. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Maybe...

    If you got some really pale, anemic person.
    And I mean REALLY pale! :P
     
  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Muhahaha

    What would make them even more powerful is to genetically engineer them to use blood cells as food. That wouldn't be so bad, except you also engineer them to replicate extremely fast and ONLY to replicate, not form a zygote from combining with another Killer Spirogyra. Thus the Spirogyra replicate almost exponentially.

    From one become two, from two become four, from four become eight, from eight become sixteen, from sixteen become thirty-two, from 32 become 64, 64 -> 128, 128 -> 256, 256 -> 512, 512 -> 1024, 1024 -> 2048, 2048 -> 4096, 4096 -> 8192, 8192 -> 16384, ... 2,147,483,648 -> 4,294,967,296, ... 137,438,953,472 -> 274,877,906,944, ... 17,592,186,044,420 -> 35,184,372,088,830, and so on until the body becomes a living Spirogyra which dies from lack of food.

    Let me get my Needler Gun with Spirogyra-filled hypodermic needles. Muhahahah.

    -Xotor-
     
  7. Guest

    Guest Guest

    RE: Muhahaha

    Only one problem, even if the spirogyra could infest the target...

    The spirogyra would have to do this while holding it's breath, it can't consume blood cells, they're too tiny, and it can't conduct photosynthesis, there's no light in the human capillary system.
     
  8. Guest

    Guest Guest

    RE: Muhahaha

    Slime molds have been known to collect together and form almost a plant structure which almost functions as a single organism.

    You also alter the Spirogyra to collect its energy from the infra-red heat waves generated within the body. I don't know if that would produce enough energy to work.

    -Xotor-