War. War never changes. When atomic fire consumed the earth, those who survived did so in great, underground vaults When they opened, their inhabitants set out across ruins of the old world to build new societies, establish new villages, forming tribes, and among those tribes presidential candidates would often arise. As decades passed, what had been the American southwest united and voted for a party called the New Californian Republic, dedicated to old-world values of democracy and the rule of law. As the Republic grew, so did its needs. Scouts spread east, seeking territory and wealth, in the dry and merciless expanse of the Mojave Desert They returned with tales of a city untouched by the warheads that had scorched the rest of the world, and a great wall(Trump cums his pants at this point) spanning the Colorado river The NCR mobilized its army and sent it east to occupy the Hoover Dam, and restore it to working condition. But across the Colorado, another party had risen. A vast army of minimum wage workers, forged from the votes of 86 tribes: Caesar's Legion Four years have passed since the Republic held the Dam - just barely - against the Legion's onslaught. The Legion did not retreat. Across the river, it gathers strength. Campfires burned, training drums beat. Through it all, the New Vegas Strip has stayed open for business under the control of an entrepreneur known as Mr House, and his minimum wage tribals and security staff who are basically robots. You are a presidential candidate, leading a campaign of xenaphobia and hatred. This has led to your capture, by those who have more enlightened views than you "Truth is, despite what you may think, the election was never rigged from the start. Your just a sore loser" *Shoots* And so, our hero wakes up a few days later, in the office of a local doctor. He hears that he had been out for a few days. He gladly tells the doctor his name and asks for campaign funds. Might help having him as a potential voter. He is a redneck type folk and would surely be a potential voter. Here's our protagonist in a Robco Reflectron These are his SPECIAL Stats. He's not weak, but his small hands don't exactly help when carrying large objects. He's also not very good on picking up when to stop, so perception is a no-go. Charisma is a 10, because he's actually able to convince people he'd be a good candidate. Intelligence is 1 for obvious reason. Agility 3, because he's got quite a lot of weight on him, and isn't exactly the subtlest of sorts. Luck is 10 because he happens to be born in to a rich family with a small loan of one million dollars. Had to put the rest in to Endurance because the game doesn't accept unspent SPECIAL points. If you want an explanation its because of all that winter weight he's got stored. Acts as a natural shield against bullets. Trump may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but he knows full well how to speak redneck. This guy was insulting his intelligence. He wouldn't stand for it. But he is a doctor, and is treating him, so Trump decided to be "Civil" for now. Trump sat on the coach and Doc Mitchell began asking him questions "All right. I'm going to say a word. I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind. Dog" "Good wigs" "House" "Trump Towers" "Night" "Make the night-time great again" "Bandit" "I ain't going to stand for those bandits. I'm gonna build a wall, and make the bandits pay for it" "Light" "My campaign" "Mother" "Well I don't know much about my mother, but my father gave me a small loan of one million caps" "Ok. I'm going to say a few statements, and you tell me whether they sound like you. Conflict just ain't in my nature" "Of course conflict ain't in my nature. There are some people who say it is, and some people who say Donald Trump isn't a nice person, but I'll have you know Donald Trump is a very nice person." "I ain't given to relyin' on others for support" "Of course not. I'm a self-made businessman. All I had was a small loan of one million dollars from my father." "I'm always fixin to be the center of attention" "There are people who say I have small hands, but do these look like small hands?, There regular sized hands right?" "I'm slow to embrace new ideas" "Fuck you!, I'm gonna make the Mojave Great Again!" "Almost done here. What do you say you have a look at this? Tell me what you see." "A Hand about the same size as mine" He put up a new card "A hand that's smaller than mine. I have perfectly normal sized hands compared to this." He put up a new card "That is one poorly drawn hand" So as his tag skills, I chose Barter, Guns and Speech. Barter because he does run Trump Towers after all, Speech because what else would come in handy for a presidential candidate?, Guns because lets face it, most of his voters probably know about that sort of stuff. As his traits I chose hot blooded, because his entire campaign is built on yelling and bitching about minority groups. I also chose Wild Wasteland because its a joke, like his entire campaign. Trump saw a small loan lying upon Doc Mitchell's shelf, and decided to use it as campaign funds. This doctor had been insulting Trump the entire time. Was trump going to kill him? Course not, he's not that petty. I mean he's petty enough to make fun of a disabled journalist for writing a bad article about him, and he got extremely bitter about the pope visiting mexico, and he even once subtley suggested his audience assasinate his opponent. But he's not petty to kill a guy over a couple of words is he. Well... Trump ventured outside, and saw the town of Goodsprings before him. It was a quiet little town, and the perfect place to start his campaign to make the Mojave great again. First things first, he was going to need a few funds for his campaign. He went and found the local sherriff: Sunny Smiles for a bit of work. He picked up a few caps shooting down some Geckos As Trump returned to the local Prospector Saloon, he found the tavernkeeper arguing with a Raider. From what he could gather, the raider was from a gang named "The Powder Gangers", and was threatening to take over Goodsprings. As he arrived, Trudy told him about how she heard he was shot in the head, and offered all the information he needed on the culprits. Trump let out a big sigh. "When I become president of the Mojave, I'm going to make a full-ban on Great Khans entering the Mojave until we figure out what the hell is going on." Trump decided if he was going to win the upcoming election, he'd need some supporters. He decided to go see this Ringo, and see if he could get him on side. As he entered the gas station where Ringo was supposedly hiding out, a man held a gun at him. "Who the hell are you?" "See your using your right to the second ammendment. That's what I like to see kiddo." "Sorry 'bout the gun, Powder Gangers looking for me.", He put the gun away. Trump heard this man talking about caps. If there was one thing Trump loved more than himself, it was caps. He immediately signed up to help the people of Goodsprings, in hopes of fortunes. He might even get a few extra voters while he was at it. First he needed some voters to help him fight away the Powder Gangers. He started with Sunny Smiles. He still needed more help though. Sunny said she'd search doc-mitchell's house for extra medicines, as he'd been missing for a little while now. Trump knew nothing about his disappearance though. Trump decided to recruit the aid of the local barmaid Trudy, and the shopkeep Chet. Trump sighed and muttered his iconic words "Make the Mojave Great Again." Trump at this point leveled up. I chose the ladykiller perk, because he for some strange reason always ends up with supermodel wives. Trump tried to recruit one last person to his cause. Easy Pete sat at the table, eating Bighorner meat. Trump looked at him, and a grin rose on his face. This guy looks like the iconic redneck, Trump knew he'd turn to be a voter the moment a word fell out of his mouth. "I'm going to make the Mojave great again." "NCR or Legion?" "Neither, I'm Donald Trump" Easy Pete rolled his eyes "What do you want Mr Trump?" "I need some Dynamite, me and my voters are going to fend off the Powder Gangers." "Are you capable of usin' dynamite? "Yeah, definetely, I know how to use a stick of dynamite. My hands are the perfect size for it too." "What, I wont blow the whole town up. I'm not a muslim or anything. I'm a good christian, I love the bible, my favorite parts all of it" "Not what I meant kiddo", he went back to eating the Bighorner meat. Easy Pete wasn't at all xenaphobic, and didn't approve of what Trump was saying at all. Regardless, Trump and his new voters stood outside the tavern, ready to take on the Powder Gangers. Soon, the bodies littered the outskirts of Goodsprings. Trump looked upon it and he smiled to himself "Means they'll no longer be a need for more policing in Powder Ganger territory" Trump joked. Trump then met the local Securitron; Victor. Victor seemed to be demanding Trump's support for Mr House. Trump never trusted Securitrons much. He was going to talk to House and get him to turn off all the Securitrons. Trump decided to follow his killer in to The New Vegas Strip, but first he needed directions. He spoke to Sunny Smiles and asked her advice He found out the safest road to the Strip was through Primm. And so he wandered off in to the Mojave Wasteland, with a group of new voters on his side. He was ready to make the Mojave great again.