Fallout 5 Predictions Thread (with EXPLOSIONS!)

Radiosity

Radiosity

Writiosity
edit: Oops, forgot there's a future Fallout discussion forum. Pls move this there, I apparently can't move my own thread once it's posted.

(Looked around and didn't see anything identical to this, apologies if there actually is one)

Anyway, I'm bored and feel like depressing myself with how bad Fallout 5 will be, so let's have some fun with predictions. The assumption is that 5 will again be a Beth mothership title and not some sort of spin-off by another studio.

Writing getting even worse is kind of a given, so let's try and be specific on that front, haha. Otherwise, anything is fair game!

Dialogue wheel streamlined further:
Tired of having to work through tedious dialogue button prompts? Want to get back to shooting things in the head? Our new EmotionWheel™ lets you get right back into the action without delay! How it works; you have four options mapped to your gamepad's face buttons, each corresponding to an emotion: Angry, Happy, Sad, Sarcastic. Instead of all that tedious old school dialogue, you now use simple body gestures such as flipping the bird to get your point across! And the best part? All four options do the same thing anyway! Yay!

Dialogue removed:
Thanks to our new EmotionWheel technology, dialogue is a thing of the past! No more boring discussions about how another settlement needs your help! Now, you can simply pick an emotion and get right on with helping those poor settlers out.

Automatic Questing:
Bored of loading screens whenever you need to enter settlements to pick up quests? So are we! That's why we've created our new AutoQuest™ system! Simply move to within one-hundred metres of any settlement and every single Radiant Quest in that location is automatically downloaded to your Pipboy. Great, huh? Now you can spend even more time shooting and looting! And the best part is that all quests are now radiant! Even the main quest! And if for some reason you're too busy looting to finish your quest? No problem! After three in-game days the quest will automatically complete and give you its associated rewards!

MOAR POWER ARMOUR:
Did you think there wasn't enough power armour in our last game? Well, good news! We're adding even more! Power armour on raiders! Power armour on ghouls! Power armour on super mutants! Power armour on Behemoths! Power armour on Deathclaws! Power armour on Radroaches! POWER ARMOUR ON EVERYTHING! EVEN ROBOTS AND SETTLEMENTS!

SPECIAL streamlined:
Why bother with user-selectable SPECIAL stats when every player is 100% perfect? Introducing our new PERFECT system! Because nobody is average in our games.
Peerless. Effortless. Rightstuff. Faultless. Exemplary. Consummate. Toddtastic/Talented. This is you, right? Of course it is! Therefore every player starts the game already perfect, with all perks unlocked!

Streamlined and enhanced crafting:
We're committed to providing you an even deeper crafting experience than our last game. That's why we've created Monocraft™! With this new system you'll never need to fast travel again! Because anything can be modified to do literally anything else! Need a sniper rifle? No problem, just use your Monocraft™ portable crafting station to create one from tin cans and Brahmin meat! In a pinch and need some power armour? Simply use a teddy bear and several bottles of dirty water to create all the power armour in the world! Monocraft™: It's like magic!

Tie-ins with Elder Scrolls:
After creating our new Monocraft™ magic crafting system, we realised that the next evolutionary step for our games had to be melding them into one all-encompassing IP! No longer will you need to wait years for each release of Elder Scrolls or Fallout! No, now you can have them at the same time! People used to make jokes about Fallout 3 being Oblivion with guns? Hah, joke's on them! Need to get to High Hrothgar in a hurry? No problem, just take a Vertibird! Frost Troll giving your problems? Turn it into a puddle of plasma goo! Orc... I mean, Super Mutants kidnapped your husband/wife/other? Feed them to a dragon! Anything's possible in The Fallout Scrolls! As long as you stay within the railroaded bounds we set for you, naturally! Can't have players doing just anything now, can we?

Your favourite factions return:
Speaking of railroading, guess who's back again? That's right! All your favourite factions! Enclave! Super Mutants! Raiders! More Raiders! Pitt Raiders! Mine Raiders! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Raiders Everywhere! Brotherhood of Steel! Airships! Vertibirds! Synths! AI! AI Synths! Rogue Synths! Raider Synths! BoS Synths! A total disregard for the lore of the series!

Environmental storytelling:
Using our patented Envirostory™ system, we'll be able to tell you even more heart-wrenching stories from before the war using artful teddy bear placement, references to ancient sitcoms, and – of course – hundreds of amusing skeletons!

Explosions:
Did you think there weren't enough nuclear explosions in Fallout 3 and 4? We agree! Which is why we've teamed up with Torgue to bring you AllExplode™, a new system that makes every single object in the game explode in nuclear fire! Cars? Check! People? Check! Enemies? Big check! Buildings? Check! Water? Check! Robots and Synths? Check! Everything explodes! EVERYTHING!

VATS improved:
Have you ever thought to yourself: "I'd really like it if I could explode every single limb with a single bullet"? Yes? So have we! That's why we've improved VATS to always be active for every single shot you fire. Now you needn't worry about missing ever again, because all shots have a 100% chance to hit from any distance, and automatically split your projectiles into exactly the right number to hit every single limb plus the enemy's body, head, and – you'll laugh at this one! – even their crotch! But there's more! Utilising AllExplode™, every one of those limbs you just shot off also explodes in nuclear fire!

Freedom:
Go anywhere! Do anything! Except for roleplaying, you naughty player, you, Fallout is all about exploration and looting and shooting, after all! But the real FREEDOM!™ comes from the emancipation of slaves, the looting of Old World museums of FREEDOM!™, siding with the good guys even if you don't want to because FREEDOM!™, and the retrieval of precious Old World FREEDOM!™ artefacts such as the Declaration of Independance, because Fallout is all about the Old World! Did we mention FREEDOM!™?

And more to come! Stay tuned for continued updates spoiling absolutely every single new feature of The Fallout Scrolls 5, not that this matters since it's just going to be Fallout 4 meets Skyrim with guns.


I might add more as I think of them, but I guess that'll do for now :)
 
Last edited:
You forgot about:

1.EVEN MORE DLC:
-WE LOVE DLC, AND ALL THE CONTENT FOR OUR CUSTOMERS. That is why, we chopped the main game into pieces so you can buy them all in one go or part by part. But don't worry, we will sell a season pass for three times the price of the game.

2.Choice And Consequence:
-Weren't you angry, that the institute blew up after you decided to blow it up. Don't worry, now all the choices don't matter. The instute will exist as it did before, only a couple new NPC comments.

3.Lore, what is that?
-We know how our players love to do anything they want, so now we brought master again, so he can try to reproduce supermutants again. Also, we created a sentient AI that looks like a sexy human female, for all you horny fans.

I will write more, if I remember it.
 
I'm gonna be a little bit more serious here than you guys. There are three possible scenarios for Fallout 5.

If Bethesda develops it, and tries to learn from their mistakes;
Fallout 5 might actually be a compelling game. It won't be on nearly the same level as New Vegas, but it might find it's own little niche that can appeal to both the older fans and the newer fans.

If Bethesda develops it, and does not learn from their mistakes;
See OP.

If Obsidian develops it;
 
I think it's best just to say in preparation for what we're all likely going to say when it does become a thing: "Fallout 5 was shit just like Fallout 4 what a revelation, The End"
 
Considering it was the Deacon voice actor who announced this in the first place, why do I get the feeling it's just going to be a direct sequel but take place in a different state? Like New York or something. Except it'll reuse all the same assets from FO4, take plotpoints from FO3 and 4, steal plot from New Vegas, and it'll reuse all the same companions from 4. And in reality it won't be New York City as a whole, it'll just be like, half of Manhattan while the other half of the map is covered in radioactive water. But they'll call it their "biggest map to date" regardless.
 
AccountNameM said:
So you're so confident that your subjective view of Fallout 4 will translate into later games?
Click to expand...

Yes, yes I am. Do you know why? I thought Fallout 3 and Skyrim were good games, but they didn't hold up to the originals of Fallout 1, 2, and Morrowind at all. Compared to those games the RP elements were like a puddle of water in FO3 and Skyrim compared to an ocean of roleplaying in the originals.

I thought maybe they'd learn and add more RP elements with FO4. They didn't. Instead they completely mainstreamed it and turned Fallout, a ROLEPLAYING game, into Open World Call of Duty. And judging by their comments on these new DLCs coming out, they still haven't learned a goddamn thing. They think Fallout 4 was a masterpiece, not a huge mistake like it was. So obviously that belief is going to translate into the next game, because, once again, they don't think they fucked up with FO4. They think everyone loves it.
 
Ragemage said:
Yes, yes I am. Do you know why? I thought Fallout 3 and Skyrim were good games, but they didn't hold up to the originals of Fallout 1, 2, and Morrowind at all. Compared to those games the RP elements were like a puddle of water in FO3 and Skyrim compared to an ocean of roleplaying in the originals.

I thought maybe they'd learn and add more RP elements with FO4. They didn't. Instead they completely mainstreamed it and turned Fallout, a ROLEPLAYING game, into Open World Call of Duty. And judging by their comments on these new DLCs coming out, they still haven't learned a goddamn thing. They think Fallout 4 was a masterpiece, not a huge mistake like it was. So obviously that belief is going to translate into the next game, because, once again, they don't think they fucked up with FO4. They think everyone loves it.
Click to expand...

Ah, I see.

Opinion = fact.
 
Ben Soto said:
If Bethesda develops it, and tries to learn from their mistakes;
Click to expand...
If Bethesda "tried to learn from mistakes" they would have made Fallout 4 a lot more like New Vegas which was basically a template on how to make a nice mix of RPG and FPS, and a lot less like Borderlands.
 
Ragemage said:
At this point, it is fact. The pattern of them dumbing down their games is evident tracing their games from Morrowind to FO4. But you go ahead and buy FO5, I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time in Open World Call of Duty 2. I, on the other hand, am going to buy Obsidian's newest actual RPG, Tyranny, instead of wasting it on trash.
Click to expand...

So your basically saying your objectively right?

Please don't say yes.
 
AccountNameM said:
snip
Click to expand...

I will say yes, and I will say yes all day long, because they're proving me right every day. In case you haven't seen the new trailer for Wasteland Workshop:

They are quite literally celebrating one of the biggest problems in the game with that trailer, being the male voiced protagonist. Even fans of the game don't like the male voice actor. Obviously they don't give a single shit when it comes to the criticism of this game, because otherwise they wouldn't be glorifying the exact problems people have with the game in one single trailer.

Let's not forget that they also increased the season pass price to be the exact same as the BASE GAME and 2 out of the most likely 6 DLCs are just something mod creators could have already made easily. Hell, someone already basically made the robot DLC as a mod before the mod or the GECK were out. http://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/5787/?

But like I said, if you trust Bethesda to make a decent game after this travesty and while they're flaunting the flaws of said game in your face, you go right ahead. Have fun getting ripped off.
 
Ragemage said:
I will say yes, and I will say yes all day long, because they're proving me right every day. In case you haven't seen the new trailer for Wasteland Workshop:

They are quite literally celebrating one of the biggest problems in the game with that trailer, being the male voiced protagonist. Even fans of the game don't like the male voice actor. Obviously they don't give a single shit when it comes to the criticism of this game, because otherwise they wouldn't be glorifying the exact problems people have with the game in one single trailer.

Let's not forget that they also increased the season pass price to be the exact same as the BASE GAME and 2 out of the most likely 6 DLCs are just something mod creators could have already made easily. Hell, someone already basically made the robot DLC as a mod before the mod or the GECK were out. http://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/5787/?

But like I said, if you trust Bethesda to make a decent game after this travesty and while they're flaunting the flaws of said game in your face, you go right ahead. Have fun getting ripped off.
Click to expand...


Are you being fucking serious?

Your treating video games like they're the damn bible, that Fallout 4 is the literal anti-christ.

Bloody hell, games are meant to be things to entertain oneself, not complained about all day.
 
AccountNameM said:
Your treating video games like they're the damn bible, that Fallout 4 is the literal anti-christ.
Click to expand...

That's because it is. Fallout 4 killed the Fallout franchise. It is dead and buried.

hk1RaGY.jpg


Later, Tim Cain of Interplay asked Todd Howard for the body of Fallout. Now Tim Cain was the creator of Fallout, but he feared the Bethestards would tarnish the body further. With Todd Howard's permission, he came and took the body away. He was accompanied by Brian Fargo, the man whose earlier game had inspired Fallout at night. taking Fallout’s body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Interplay burial customs. At the place where Fallout was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. And since the tomb was nearby, they laid Fallout there, with the help of Chris Avellone and J.E. Sawyer. - J.E. Sawyer 20:4
 
Radiosity said:
Gotta love how a thread I intended for fun has immediately been derailed by a Bethtard and is now just... well, non-fun. Guess I should've expected that, huh?
Click to expand...

"Bethtard", really?

I enjoy the entire Fallout series, and I like the ones Bethesda made, so that makes me a fan of them?

I'm not insulting ragemage, just having a little heated discussion with him.

Also, I couldn't detect the satire in this thread due to all the criticism of Bethesda.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top