No Mutants Allowed

When I flush, the water cascades over and past all the shit, straight into the water. Nothing gets cleared out! I have to scrub it like some abused slave each damn time! I should just keep a bucket of water nearby, and flush it myself

I am sick of these vain dainty toilets, I bet it's like a... blind psyche thing, like everyone going to the toilet-store gets all shy, "I guess I only need a cute little toilet that barely flushes. I never poop, you see." and this vanity ruins the actual market for functional normal toilets

I am sick of renting, always living under someone else's design for the houseplan and layout. If I ever get the chance to set up an apartment myself, I'll shop for toilets like a fucking shit-boss!

I'll kick the doors in, and announce for the toilet-store workers loudly and clearly: I PLAN TO SHIT! I want a big-ass bowl, nothing I have to balance on the edge of, I want water that flushes DOWN THE SIDES of the bowl, I want a fuckin swimming pool at the bottom of it, I PLAN TO SHIT!

That is a European thing for sure. American wins that one I guess. We don't get the fancy butt sprayer but we do get shit that flushes. Wet wipes probably work just as well anyway and if I shit bad enough to rinse my ass off, I hop in the shower. Haha.

I've never done the shower-ass-wash so far, it seems like a kind of... threshold-in-life kind of thing to go through

I mean I would still wipe as normal but if you feel dirty enough to need to wash your ass off might as well shower.

I'll sometimes soak toilet paper, if there's a sink nearby, but I'm not super-fond of doing it, since wet toilet paper tends to fall apart easily

I have had to flush my toilet with buckets of water many times for whatever reason. Had to do it before for over a week while the plumming was being replaced.

Toilets have intelligence?

My toilet is dumb *and* gay

and racist

@zegh8578 washing your filthy asshole in the shower is sometimes necessary. No shame in it

NMA Discussions of 2019: Ass Stuff

No, look, there's two things here - one is hopping in the shower after a shit, to manually wash shit out your ass! I have not done this, because... you know... it's a bit hardcore

The other is to wash your ass *whenever* you shower! Of course! My ass is part of me, it needs care and attention! Supposedly, there's guys who refuse to wash their ass, because it involves men (themselves) touching their ass

It also reminds me of a British Army doc, where noob recruits were shown *how* to shower. Military efficiency dictates that everything get spoonfed JUST IN CASE one or two dumbfucks don't know, so they had this dude, buck nekkid, showing a bunch of recruits how to wash under the balls

Nah man you aren't scrubbing shit out. You wipe as normal then rinse your ass off. Hell if I had a long enough shower hose I could rig up a Handheld Ass Washer to sit by the toilet. It's almost long enough.